My HV has made me furious about using a baby sling!

[tenacityflux]

My DD is coming up to 8 weeks and has been suffering from reflux, just diagnosed, and has been and will no doubt continue being a very wakeful and lively baby - I have had a sling from day one and find it's great - it keeps her calm and if she won't sleep, put her in it and she's asleep in 20 mins, and as I'm in a first floor flat, so much easier when going out - and on public transport. However, my HV has got a real bee in her bonnet about slings, she keeps having a go at me that if I don't make her go to sleep on her own, she never will; totally ignoring that fact that it's been the reflux making her cry and wake - she keeps trying to make me leave her to cry herself out, and says 'Of course she likes sleeping in the sling,it's nice!' as if doing something nice for your baby is wrong. I am still sleep deprived and a bit pnd, so she's reduced me to tears before now about it - but I have found a website with advice for parents of colicky and reflux babies, and they actually recommend baby wearing for a minimum of 3 hours a day to help with both conditions as close contact helps to regulate a babies bio-rhythms; and have since heard that Midwives and HV's in Brighton actually recommend slings and advise against prams until babies are 4 months. My DD will happily play in her bed for an hour in the early morning, and will go back into bed at night without the sling - so I think she will be fine and that I am doing the right thing for my daughter - I am sick of the HV and her atitude! Once my DD is older, then we can start carrying her less, but by then her stomach will be bigger, she'll be doing more in the daytime anyway - why are these people so stupid about these things?!

Your dd will play happily in her bed for an hour at 8 weeks old? . Girl, you are clearly doing something right.

Oh the stories I could tell you about health visitors. Oh the joy I felt when I finally told the silly old bag what she could do with her crap advice. Apologies to JP but seriously, wtf do these people think they're up to?

ChairmumMiaow - unfortunately it's not a 'proper' sling, but an Ergo (dh-friendly - he wasn't keen on the other types of sling) but I love it to bits and have had mums come up to me to ask the make etc. I mainly carry ds in it, but there are times when, for example, ds is sleeping and dd (2 1/2) wants be carried and I just carry her on my back (in fact come to think of it, I often have ds in the pushchair and dd on my back in the supermarket as it stops her running off ) Worth it's weight in gold!

UpSinceCrap - I consider proper slings the ones that have baby's legs up in the proper frog-leg position, supporting their spine, which AFAIK, an ergo does (I had a patapum for a while which is a similar style, but I'm large and the straps and buckles didn't agree with me)

tenacity - afaik, babybjorns don't support a baby's back properly (the legs should be in a frog-leg position with knees slightly higher than bum for proper back support for the baby) Please consider some other sling types such as a mei-tai, or something like an ergo that UpSince mentioned. You'll find them more comfortable and they'll probably last longer too as well as being better for your baby.

A few places do hire for you to try out (including me when my website is up and running- a babyhawk might suit you). I'm sure some people will recommend other places too.

ChairmumMiaow - I did buy a BB when dd was tiny (wasn't on mn then and didn't the first thing about babywearing and it was the only available in the shops) - it was great (dd has always been very light) until she was about a year old. Shortly after that I fell pg with ds and couldn't use it. Since then have actually researched much more into the babywearing world and read the research about leg position etc, which was the biggest reason why I made such a fuss to dh about why we needed to fork out another small fortune (to us!) for another baby carrier when we already had one. Wouldn't ever recommend a BB to anyone now and yet I still see them everywhere. Am much, much happier with my Ergo and wish I'd done my homework when dd was tiny (really wasn't very good at researching things then - something I've thankfully since learnt from the Univeristy of Mumsnet )

Tenacity - I recommend maybe seeing if you can go to a slingmeet or trying various carriers / slings out before you buy? (Just from my experience with using a BabyBjorn! They do drag the weight down from your shoulders which is very tiring - even the one with the extra 'lumber support' which is the one we had. One reason I love my Ergo is that the weight goes almost entirely on the hips making it much easier, plus you can put heavy babies / toddlers on your back, which also makes life much easier.)

Slings are fantastic, they allow you to get on with everyday things while still being close to your baby. If on top of this you foud out it helps you DD's condition just go for it. HV do not always look at the whole picture.

I did not know BBjorn were not good? all my DC were in one... hope there will be no long lasting damage.

I didn't know about the problems with Baby Bjorns either. Carried my ds2 in one until he was 14 months, and was ready to walk. He's active, sporty and not at all clingy, though I still miss my hot water bottle in winter!

There's a lot of research online which talks about BabyBjorns in relation to spinal development in babies / children. Can't remember the details and no time now to look for links (sorry ) but easily googled I think?

I also carried dd in one (on a daily basis) until she was about a year old and I'm taking the philosophy that it's like anything with parenting - you make the best decision with the information you have at the time (in my case, none barr the sales banter) and leave it at the that. I can't go back in time and tell myself not to buy the BB - although I could (and did) move on from it and buy something for ds with the information I've since read (Dd walks and runs fine by the way, but despite that I preferred to use something since having read the research that I did - if there is any damage that hasn't been detected yet, well, we'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it
)

Oh, I think saying Baby Bjorn carriers will damage babies is a lot of hooey. THough I agree they aren't terribly comfortable for the parent. Or at least I never found them so but then I never used any other kind of sling as my ds didn't much like being in one and my dd was pretty happy anywhere. medical opinion from professors etc on the baby bjorn site

My opinion on the baby bjorn is from reading stuff about spinal development and slings and seeing how babies are sitting in the baby bjorn. It seemed to me to be the same position (whether facing in or out) as how a baby 'dangles' when they're facing the world in other slings such as wraps

I carried DS facing outwards in a stretchy wrap for several months and he is fine. I just like to make people aware that for the price of a baby bjorn you can get so many other sorts of slings which I think are better for mum and baby.

I'll have a read of that BB site link when DS lets me!

I didn't have a sling with ds 1 who was a very stressed and colicky baby. It was hell to say they least. Ds 2 I used a hugabub which was the best thing ever. He realxed and chilled when close to me or dh. He was a big boy when born -1/2 oz off 10lbs and I carried him in it till he was 10 months or so -25lbs ish. I have switched to another tougher fabric sling but are now 2 months prgt with dc 3 so I can't carry him anymore but would not hesitate using a sling again.

I had people looking at me. talking to me about how heavy he must be but he reall wasn't. The straps were spread right across my shoulders so they were never uncomfortable. I could use public transport, escalators and even go to the toilet with him in the sling. I could also hold my ds 1's hand which I found very hard whilst navigating a pram.

ok, if a bb is not recomended, what slings would all you happy slinger recomend? i do love my kari-me but i was just thinking of perhaps something she can get in and out of a bit quicker! the hv rang today but i ignored the call - seeing her on monday for dd first imunisations is soon enough.

tenacity - personally, if you're after quick in and out but comfort, I'd recommend a babyhawk - or any style of Mei-Tai or similar that you're happy with. I love mine, and so do DS's relatives who'll happily carry him in that but didn't want to work out how to tie the kari-me.

For long term comfort I like woven wraps best, but I think they are the most complicated for in-and-outs. Brilliant for long walks though, as the fabric spreads just like the stretchy wrap but holds a bigger baby/toddler's weight better.

try here I don't know what they're like to hire from, but they're worth a try. I've heard good things about cwshtis and ergos.

I am in the process of setting up sling hire/sales (tiny) business and I'd be happy to give you a mumsnet discount (I hope its ok to say that here!). I only have a very small range (babyhawk or storchenwiege woven wrap that might suit you) but if you want more details email kat at babyslinghire dot co dot uk.

tenacityflux - both my boys had reflux, ds2 was very bad with it and on prescription formula in the end.

He was carried in sling, mei tai and then ergo.

ds2 slept upright on ME in the day for a year, slept in his cot at night (propped on cot blocks) and when I decided to put him in his cot in the day he went with no problems.

If I had a pound for every time someone had said "you'll make a rod for your own back" I would be very rich, also for all the weird question about carrying him in a sling such as "is that uncomfortable?" errr no that's why I walk miles with him strapped to me

I think it is different with your second child as you tend to just listen and then ignore lots of well intentioned advice.

HV's can't MAKE you do anything. IMO they should be there to offer advice and support mums in the choices they make not try and impose their views. In this case there are no 'guidelines' for sling use as far as I;m aware so what she's telling you are her views and are not evidence based!

A good supportive HV is worth her weight in gold. A controlling, opinionate HV can reduce new mums to tears.

Smile, thank her for her advice and carry on doing what YOU feel is right for YOUR child.

Tenacity, if you are prepared to pretie the wrap and wear it most of the time, a wrap can be extremely quick. It's what I've used most of the time, so it's my quickest method, but I defy anyone to take too long putting a child in or (particularly) out with a pretied wrap.

Kari-Me is great for a little baby. Once you get past about 6-8 months (depending on size) they can be a little too stretchy for comfort. At that point it was summer so I changed to a Gypsy Mama Bali Baby Breeze wrap, which is probably my best purchase ever. (Also have a storchenwiege for long days out with a heavy toddler.)

Don't get a BabyBjorn, they will not last you. I'm not wild about the leg position in a BB but not convinced it does actual harm. (However, if your baby has clicky hips it would definitely be ill advised to use a BB and actively good to use a proper sling)

Sorry, am a sling bore

Also have an Ergo and that is really good too, but more for an older baby with longer legs. (from 6 months say)

Fucking idiot of a woman.

silly bitch

its just embarrasing how little these hvs know isn't it, infact they are very lucky these mums are keeping them in business turning up to appointments and allowing them to justify their salaries.

my hv answer to my ds milk allergy was that she was going to come round my house and give ds formula herself to prove to me that he isn't.

(even though every time I give it he projectile vomits)

Haven't read all the posts so maybe this has been said before but reflux is very often a symptom of an undiagnosed dairy allergy.

Oh and your HV is talking out of her arse. Slings are fab and make life just about possible for the mum and lovely for the baby.

Good luck.

Does that mean me not eating dairy or her not eating formula to see if that is it?

My HV 'told me off' for waiting until DD was 6mo before weaning her, she said that DD will never eat solids because I should have weaned her at 4mo. Tell that to my now 12mo DD who will eat anything and everything put in front of her

Your HV is wrong. You are right, end off!!!!

Ignore the silly woman. She is talking out of her backside.

Slings should be on prescription for babies with reflux.

As well as www.slingmeet.co.uk you might like to look at www.thebabywearer.com

One HV told me my second baby was developing a lop-sided face from lying to one side! He hasn't, I assure you.

I have met some very nice HVs but also some absolute prats. Sadly, the second time around the prats seem to predominate.

Oh, and I love, love, love slings. Nothing beats being able to cuddle your lovely baby as much as you want.

at the fracture clinic not so long ago dd1's consultant saw me putting dd2 ( 4 wk old) in a wrap and commented that it was the best way to carry a baby. the whole waiting room was watching me with interest at the time so felt v smug.

i showed my hv how to use a mei-tai last week. she got v. excited and wants one to carry her grandson - herself.

Are you mix feeding?

If you are exclusively breast feeding you need to cut all dairy and cow's milk protein (often an additive) from your diet. You have to be really careful to cut all sources as even a tiny amount can upset the baby.

If it is this then you should see some improvement in the reflux/colic after a few days although the full effect takes around three weeks as this is how long it takes to clear your system.

If your baby is having formula then I'm not too sure how this fits in, sorry don't know anything about this. You might want to ask about this specifically in either the feeding section or the allergy section. You will get plenty of replies.