20 MONTH OLD SON - DELAYED SPEECH OR NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT???

[Hanifah]

Hi my ds has just turned 20 months old and is our first baby,he doesnt have any relatives around and its only me & dh who around constantly to talk to him...mainly me as hub at work during day(hub talks to him in baby talk which doesnt help & inlaws speak to him in their language-bengali..my family in ireland).He is VERY active & definitely mre physically advanced than his age...always has been.Ive been a bit worried about his speech for the last few months but hes started to listen to me more and communicate.He babbled very early on & said mama dada baba very early too. I read to him all the time but hes not realy interested...I take him to playgroups and to mix with my friends kids and I stress about it everyday!He only has a dummy now at sleeptime so I dont think thats a problem.I know boys tend to talk later but the speech development checklists Ive read make me panic.Otherwise he has no developmental issues infact he seems very intelligent and has always been alert and advanced for his age...he understands aroud 150-200 words and follows instructions...understands commands/sentences....but he doesnt really use them...except for his favorite few words which are:
1.Hello
2.Bye-bye
3.Goodbye
4.There
5.Here
6.Dada/Daddy
7.Mama/mum
8 All Gone
9 Car
10 Ball
11 Bubble
12 bad boy/bold boy

He uses these regularly throughout the day and babbles in sentences that sound like gobble-dee-goop. He has connected a few words such as
1.ALL GONE

1. OH GOD

3.BOLD BOY/BAD BOY (bubu)

1. GOOD BOY

He has said other words at times but then doesnt bother again like : gone,wow,woah,ta-ta (thanks)yeah,mickey(mouse)what,oh,Go (to bed)Baba (used to be for father now for general and "give me")ca-ca (for cat)and his friends name "Kyle"

He prefers to use sounds he is very expressive has been saying "mmm" for nice food for almost a year...says "uh-oh" when something falls r he does something wrong etc...or when he deliberately drops something lol

He makes a lot of sounds which arent technically words such as:

1. wa-wa (cat)

2 kwa-kwa (quack for duck)

1. beep beep

4 vroom 5 rarr (lion,dragon etc) 6 mmm...mwa (kiss) 7 o-wo-wo (song to let u knw he wants to go sleep)

1. uh-oh (when drops sumtn r somethn wrong)
2. a-ah (dont do somethn)

10. mmm (yummy food) 11. ugh 12 uck 13 fish sound 14 a-a-a-a-a-a-a (barney raindrops song) 15 plane sound 16 woof sound for dog 17 ehhhhhhhhh &shakes head for NO 18 moo (cow) 19 nn - nn- nn (trying to say 1...2..3) 20 ho-ho(Hot)

I feel silly writing this but I realy need some advice or even reassurance...some ppl tell me theyre toddlers are speaking in sentences at this age.DH thinks theres no problem at all especially as his hearing is fine he undrstands everything...can point out body parts...clothes etc...animals...and practically everything we say to him...I am still frustrated and worried though as he wont say the words and Ive seen friends children of similar age answering yes and no and articulating themselves perfectly as to what they want...whereas ds likes to point and say "baba" when he wants something eventhough he knows damn well the words juice...dummy...etc etc.I used to think he wast bothered listening or communicating as before 18months he was a hyper bunny who wouldnt even sit with me for one second...but now he has calmed down and interracts with me really well...communicates and is not so obsessed with running round etc...I know he is learning a lot...it would just be really nice if he would talk more. My friend says maybe he doesnt need to say "bottle" etc as he gets all his needs easily as an only child...and a spoilt one at that lol but surely the answer cant be to make him cry and frustrate him into saying the words?DH was in the shop the other day and handed him to friend/shopkeeper he started crying and shouting "daddy" across the shop which he never says...so maybe some truth in it?I am probably just being emotional as second one is due in may and ds is 2 in march...it would be nice if he could communicate more by then. Sorry for the VERY long post I just wanted to give an accurate idea of situation as I am paronoid now and also worried about2yr check.Any advice or stories?Is his speech as far behind as I think it is???My niece was at this stage just after her 1st bday...but then of course she walked months later...theyre all differnt I suppose
THANKS!

DD did not utter more than four words till she was two. Now, one month later, she's speaking in sentences.

If he understands you and can point to things in books there is little doubt that he's working away underneath and will soon start to increase his speech.

Also kids who are at home with parents often don't have to ask for stuff the way they would if they were in daycare so they don't get to practice talking as often. I noticed I was doing everything for DD and stopped preempting what she wanted so she had a chance to talk.

He sounds absolutely fine

He sounds fine

When you see HV ask re speech,but honestly,for 20 months he sounds to be doing very well

The "Guidelines" are just that.

Red flags would be absence of babble,and no speech at this age,no pointing or efoorts at communicating etc.

(I have 1 "Normal" child (if such a thing exists,and one with severe speech and communication issues) HTH

Thanks I worked in childcare before having ds but he shocked me from day 1...everything id learnt about "normal" babies was wrong...every child is differnet and hes always been unique and headstrong with his own way of doing things..which has led me to abanon alot of guidelines lol.I havent seen a HV since he was 2weeks old...other than a few times I went to the clinic to get him weighed. I dont rate them to be honest...I value other mums opinions a lot mre.Thanks for the reassurance! I plan on bringing him to preschool a few mornings from 2 and half so hopefully thatll help his speech too

Sounds fine to me too, I imagine very soon he is going to take off, and really get going. My DD did, absolutely astonishing the difference between 18 and 22 months which she is now.

Okaaaaay.
Take a deep breath.
He is absolutely fine. Really fine. I mean absolutely completely nothing to worry about at all fine.

FINE FINE FINE.

I wouldnt say he is behind AT ALL. ( You are also right they all go at their own pace; my MIL often tells us how my husband didnt speak at all until 2.5 and you cant shut him up now.)

I would be more worried about how stressed you are feeling about it. I'm sure your pregnancy hormones are playing a part but you really mustnt get into competitive parenting it does no one any good, it sounds like not all of your friends are being helpful on this score. Your little boy sounds lovely and right on target for his age and you need to relax and enjoy him. It will all come very quickly (language is on an ever rising graph at this point and the difference in a few weeks is extraodinary, keep this post and look at it in 4 weeks time and you will see).

do many 18mth olds say 50 words as "they" say...Ive yet to see a 18mth old boy with that vocab

My DD is used in infant research at the local uni, and since age 1 they have sent out (american) word questionaires. I asked about what they would expect, and they said they never expected the widely quoted number of words at that age, there seems to be a consistent discrepancy between what american research comes up with as average no of words, and uk, the uk being less. ?? population, ?? reporting error, but they very much felt that the numbers were over estimates, and the age of 2 and 3 words together were also a bit on the optimistic side.

My DD is used in infant research at the local uni, and since age 1 they have sent out (american) word questionaires. I asked about what they would expect, and they said they never expected the widely quoted number of words at that age, there seems to be a consistent discrepancy between what american research comes up with as average no of words, and uk, the uk being less. ?? population, ?? reporting error, but they very much felt that the numbers were over estimates, and the age of 2 and 3 words together were also a bit on the optimistic side.

You will always hear of some 18 month olds talking in complete sentences, and some who say barely anything at two. Most are somewhere around your ds's level. It's really very normal.

You do sound excessively anxious about it, even if he said much less it would be fine for now. Just enjoy what he does and stop fretting.

thanks guys! and thanks Cathpot I must sound like a perfectionist lol hub thinks im crazy. I think the comparng started in July when I took ds on a famil holiday with my parents sister and niece(5mths older)My parents have had 2 girls and my sister has a girl...they were shocked by my ds who is so active and physical...they made me really insecure that he is some out of control kid that doesnt talk...they were actually really hurtful...sister said does he have adhd as he doesnt seem to concentrate.My parents have practically raised my niece and the preferential treatment was obvious....it was very hurtful especially as I was just getting over a miscarriage at the time...and dont have people around on a dayto day to reasurre me about him...they actually tried to make me tink theres something wrong with hm bcos he doesnt sit on their knee quietly listening as my niece does... I kept tryin to explain they are completely differnt children and also boys and girls are differnt.DH and I still cant understand their reactions as everyone who meets my little boy loves him and thinks he is great.Sorry for babbling.....

yeah I am very anxious about it hence the writing lists of words he uses etc...I even wrote one on how many words he understands(which was obviously too big to post here LOL)I think I feel a lot of pressure on myself as dh and his family are quite happy not talking or talking baby talk to him...and my family are the opposite my mum keeps saying "is he repeating everything now" and I say "no" I think I just need to ignore it and appreciate him for his achievements...Iam well proud of him THANKS

What Cathpot said.

Just to add, he sounds exactly like my 23 month old. All the words you typed match my DS vocabulary exactly.
I used to be a terrible worrier, but I'm all right now!!
DS was a late smiler, sitter up, late walker (16 months) and I've gradually learned to relax about milestones as I think you've got to just accept it'll happen when it happens.
My DS now flies around the house at 100 miles an hour - something that I couldn't begin to imagine when I was waiting for him to finally walk. I fully expect that my DS (and yours) will be debating the meaning of life very very soon.

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

thanks I feel really silly now...why arent all mums normal like the mums on mumsnet?lol

Your family are making you insecure about him and he sounds marvellous. You can't compare children like that anyway. Have a few retorts that you say when they come out with annoying things and hopefully they'll pipe down.

Listen to your dh and accept he's doing everything he should and throw away those lists.

i didn't even read your whole post- sorry it was kinda long

i saw the list of words he could say and knew he was fine. dd1 could only say ta at 20 mths. She didn't babble and couldn't make any consonant sounds.

She is now 2.4 and can talk in sentences (but is not very clear)

He'll be fine!

thanks Funny enough until I made the list today I thought he was really behind until I realised how many words or "His own little words" he does use LOL. Now I am chuffed ...I wasnt sure if he was a little behind or a lot now Im happy that hes ok...obviously even if he was behind...they generally all catch up oneday.CHEERS

thanks Funny enough until I made the list today I thought he was really behind until I realised how many words or "His own little words" he does use LOL. Now I am chuffed ...I wasnt sure if he was a little behind or a lot now Im happy that hes ok...obviously even if he was behind...they generally all catch up oneday.CHEERS

PHEW

Just read your most recent posts Hanifah. Sorry that your family are making you feel like that. Children, like adults are individuals and not programmed to behave in a certain way.

You've got a lively, inquisitive toddler, that's all.

My DS would have to be pinned down to sit still for any length of time. He is noisy, mischievous (sp?), constantly on the go and very entertaining.

Your DS sounds great fun too.

He sounds lovely.

I think they either concentrate on the physical then speech or vice versa,though for 20 months I would say his speech is actually good

Soon you will be wishing he had not discovered the "Why?" word

Also my dd didn't do ANY animal sounds at that age.

DS, my eldest, could do loads of animal sounds before he was 1.

My HV said as long as they have 2 words by 2! (which personally I think is delayed but they are all different).

My 22 month old ds does not stop all day. He runs wriggles and babbles and climbs and jumps and sings and throws himself on the floor and throws whatever he can grab on the floor and empties cupboards, drawers, shelves, and so on. He's very lively.

You see my head knows all this and Im really glad Ihave a happy active little boy...it just hurts when those who should appreciate him (ie:his grandparents)try to criticize...especially as he only sees them every 4mths or so.I am so relieved.I have bought so many books and flash cards etc and everyday try to get him to talk more...maybe I should just relax...hes always done things in his own time LOL.They are hrd work and they drive us crazy but wouldnt life be boring without them?lol

His speech sounds very similar to my DDs at that age.
Its amazing looking at your list how similar they are - the fish noise, lion noise, counting (with my DD it is two, two, two ), all gone, bubble.
My DD is nearly 22 months now, and has a few more words, and just in the last 2 weeks has started putting 2 words together. She has also just started using verbs.
I hope that your DS is not delayed, as he sounds an awful lot like my DD!