20 MONTH OLD SON - DELAYED SPEECH OR NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT???

[Hanifah]

Hi my ds has just turned 20 months old and is our first baby,he doesnt have any relatives around and its only me & dh who around constantly to talk to him...mainly me as hub at work during day(hub talks to him in baby talk which doesnt help & inlaws speak to him in their language-bengali..my family in ireland).He is VERY active & definitely mre physically advanced than his age...always has been.Ive been a bit worried about his speech for the last few months but hes started to listen to me more and communicate.He babbled very early on & said mama dada baba very early too. I read to him all the time but hes not realy interested...I take him to playgroups and to mix with my friends kids and I stress about it everyday!He only has a dummy now at sleeptime so I dont think thats a problem.I know boys tend to talk later but the speech development checklists Ive read make me panic.Otherwise he has no developmental issues infact he seems very intelligent and has always been alert and advanced for his age...he understands aroud 150-200 words and follows instructions...understands commands/sentences....but he doesnt really use them...except for his favorite few words which are:
1.Hello
2.Bye-bye
3.Goodbye
4.There
5.Here
6.Dada/Daddy
7.Mama/mum
8 All Gone
9 Car
10 Ball
11 Bubble
12 bad boy/bold boy

He uses these regularly throughout the day and babbles in sentences that sound like gobble-dee-goop. He has connected a few words such as
1.ALL GONE

1. OH GOD

3.BOLD BOY/BAD BOY (bubu)

1. GOOD BOY

He has said other words at times but then doesnt bother again like : gone,wow,woah,ta-ta (thanks)yeah,mickey(mouse)what,oh,Go (to bed)Baba (used to be for father now for general and "give me")ca-ca (for cat)and his friends name "Kyle"

He prefers to use sounds he is very expressive has been saying "mmm" for nice food for almost a year...says "uh-oh" when something falls r he does something wrong etc...or when he deliberately drops something lol

He makes a lot of sounds which arent technically words such as:

1. wa-wa (cat)

2 kwa-kwa (quack for duck)

1. beep beep

4 vroom 5 rarr (lion,dragon etc) 6 mmm...mwa (kiss) 7 o-wo-wo (song to let u knw he wants to go sleep)

1. uh-oh (when drops sumtn r somethn wrong)
2. a-ah (dont do somethn)

10. mmm (yummy food) 11. ugh 12 uck 13 fish sound 14 a-a-a-a-a-a-a (barney raindrops song) 15 plane sound 16 woof sound for dog 17 ehhhhhhhhh &shakes head for NO 18 moo (cow) 19 nn - nn- nn (trying to say 1...2..3) 20 ho-ho(Hot)

I feel silly writing this but I realy need some advice or even reassurance...some ppl tell me theyre toddlers are speaking in sentences at this age.DH thinks theres no problem at all especially as his hearing is fine he undrstands everything...can point out body parts...clothes etc...animals...and practically everything we say to him...I am still frustrated and worried though as he wont say the words and Ive seen friends children of similar age answering yes and no and articulating themselves perfectly as to what they want...whereas ds likes to point and say "baba" when he wants something eventhough he knows damn well the words juice...dummy...etc etc.I used to think he wast bothered listening or communicating as before 18months he was a hyper bunny who wouldnt even sit with me for one second...but now he has calmed down and interracts with me really well...communicates and is not so obsessed with running round etc...I know he is learning a lot...it would just be really nice if he would talk more. My friend says maybe he doesnt need to say "bottle" etc as he gets all his needs easily as an only child...and a spoilt one at that lol but surely the answer cant be to make him cry and frustrate him into saying the words?DH was in the shop the other day and handed him to friend/shopkeeper he started crying and shouting "daddy" across the shop which he never says...so maybe some truth in it?I am probably just being emotional as second one is due in may and ds is 2 in march...it would be nice if he could communicate more by then. Sorry for the VERY long post I just wanted to give an accurate idea of situation as I am paronoid now and also worried about2yr check.Any advice or stories?Is his speech as far behind as I think it is???My niece was at this stage just after her 1st bday...but then of course she walked months later...theyre all differnt I suppose
THANKS!

Hi again Hanifah,

One thing I've learnt with my ds is that things are definately going in when he appears to be completely ignoring me.He often does this .All the things you do now will be stored up and it is lovely when he comes out with them later.I often think with ds now, where did that word come from?

There is something quite special about when your child starts to gain words when they have had a slow start.

It sounds like you have been already doing some really positive things.As you have recently found it is often as simple as repeatedly making sure you use the word they need to learn rather than some other phrase.

If you are going to ask your ds what he wants prepare for him to be a bit resistant initially, as my ds was.He just pointed and moaned but i kept just saying 'oh you want ...juice' and then eventually he did say it.

I used to think like you do, why does he have words like cheese but not eat/drink which is much more useful.Some words he just seemed to latch onto quicker, no rhyme or reason I could see.

I think they just need to get the idea that this language stuff is really quite good for getting what you want.

Hi again,it sounds like ur ds is doing great now!everyone kept telling me once he starts then itll all start flowing,do u think thats true?My mum kept saying so but I seen little progress from 18mths to now and even less progress from 1yr to 18mths so Ive been thinking with my ds itll just be a very very slow struggle...but now I think MAYBE we are having a breakthrough!(ds has always done things his way and in his time)All of a sudden ds is being really inquisitive and saying "there" about everything and waiting for me to tell him the word!Before he just wasnt interested but this last week both dh and I have noticed a change..so Im really hoping and praying now is our chance to get through to him.This evening we left him in his grans house bcos its my bday so dh took me for a meal,we dont leave him that often so I was a bit worried but he was fine...I did however forget to put his juice in his bag.He only has bottles at bedtime and likes to drink water/juice throughout the day(but hes very particular about what he drinks from...hes obsessed with those fruitshoot bottles so we refill them...altho sometimes hell just take his beaker for us)anyway my mother inlaw offered him water in a cup after he ate but he wouldnt drink from it...when we got back first he was happy to see us..but then he kept moaning and I didnt knw what he wanted...he was trying so hard to tell me something...I couldnt believe it wasnt his dummy he was looking for...so I was really baffled and thought/said "bottle?" but he wanted something else...then it hit me that he must want a drink,we got some in the car so I said "juice?"and finally he stopped whinging and said "mmm" like he says when he wants some food.It sounds silly but its amazing for me to finally be having some communication like this with him...instead of 2nd guessing everything.Hes now attempting to say some other things and even if he doesnt say it perfectly at least we understand and from there hopefully the communication will continue. Hes really starting to interract with us more instead of being so interested in everything around...maybe the novelty of walking,running & climbing is finally wearing off...Im excited!!!Looking fward to that book Ive ordered to as now hes showing some signs of listening and trying to talk...this might be the perfect time for me to know the best ways to help him along...plus with his brother due in May it wont hurt for me to have the tools to use earlier on this time...funny Ive worked in childcare but its so differnt when its ur own kids bcos u care so much more and u also feel so responsible for every little thing...and always question urself did u do that right or was that the best way to handle something.

Hi Hanifah just wanted to reassure you that DS1 had 34 "words" at 19mo (I know coz I listed them too....) and I was also worried, bought books etc. Like your DS he is extremely active, very physical, into cars/trucks/trains etc, but understood everything inc big things (eg new baby, DH being away for work). He has a (girl) cousin of exactly the same age who used sentences at 18mo, and the comparisons, though inevitable, really DO NOT help. After he was 2 he got more words, slowly, but since he turned 2 and a half he is like a different boy, talking all the time and in sentences, AND the tantrums have decreased too. So don't worry. He sounds just like my DS - a delight, most of the time - just try not to compare him with others. He will be able to do things that they can't, and vice versa. And it will come. Keep your list of words on paper somewhere to look back on in 9months or so, with a wry smile, as he asks you "why?" every 10seconds .

thanks zammummy it feels really good to hear that!

Hi, just like to say that the book is very good, it helps u get things straight in ur head and really think about ways to encourage speech.Obviously a lot of the stuff was just reassuring to know as thats what I have been doing (but had probably given up on bcos I wasnt getting much reaction) It was really good to read as a guideline and to remind myself...as knowing what we should do...and finding the time or remembering to do it on a day to day is another thing. I think the book has helped...but also my ds has just reached a new stage - he is listening SO much,understands EVERYTHING and is really "trying" to communicate. His sentence "I got car" is now used for other things like "I got ball" "I got colour" etc..hes got a few new words but understands many more and is asking "there?" all the time,wanting to know what everything is. He'll be 2 next month and Im not worried at all now.Im not saying hes got loads of words or is speaking in great sentences,because hes not.I still notice a lot of children his age can talk a lot more...but Im hoping with all the new words hes learning,hell catch up in no time. He was interested at all up until 18mths and its only the last month or so that hes become so inquisitive...he was so physically active and advanced he really had no time for anything else...now hes like a differnt kid...he'll sit on my knee and let me talk him all the way through balamory...hell nicely take out puzzles and books himself...hes constantly chatting to me and looking for interaction...its a big relief.He even talks to relatives on the phone which he would never do before,hed simply shut the phone or press buttons. He has made some attempts to say the words for things he wants like bottle..and is starting to use words like "pour" etc..he does understand a lot and makes sounds for hot,cold,dirty and so on...the only problem is his pronunciation is SO off...like he calls mickey(mouse) "gaw" not key or gey but "gaw" this is his favorite word now,its overtaken car. He also sings "wa-wa-wa" to the tune of "round and round"(wheels on the bus)when something is going around or hes making something turn. Hes come along great and Im really chuffed but the "wa-wa-wa" for roundroundround and gaw for mickey...Im hoping its just him getting his tongue around all the words as he had a late start...and not another problem with his mouth(he has a dummy but only at bed&naptime
for last few mths)I still find it strange that despite him being really active and not interested in picking up words or talking...that he wouldnt have mimmicked some words simply by chance at a younger age - so I am a little worried that maybe the dummy delayed him practising sounds!?!?

Hi Hanifah,

Glad the book helped.Some of it seems obvious but it is surprising how often you don't do the simple things.Alot of it is really key though and I'm sure helped my ds.What I noticed with my ds is he started way behind his friends at 20 months not saying much but now at 2 1/2 is really catching them up and loves speaking.

I think pronounciation is the last thing to come so I certainly wouldn't worry just say the word clearly back to him in reply.

At this age the shared attention is one of the most important things and it sounds like he has this and his language will follow.

Make sure you do lots of verbs and by demonstating the actions as this will help him build sentences.

I saw this advice on the special needs thread the other day and I hope TotalChaos who is a bit of an Hanen expert doesn't mind me putting it here as well as it may be useful to you:

emphasize key words

• pause before the key word

-prolong the key word -whisper or shout the key word -point at the object connected with the key word.

-Imitate your child's sounds and actions, and add something new
-Interpret - say it as he would if he could
-Show the objects you are talking about to the child
-Name people and things in which he shows interest
-be consistent - use the same words for the same routines (bathing/dressing etc).
-Talk in simple sentences.

Just keep dipping into the book to remind yourself.It is easy to slip back into not using the best ways to help your child learn to communicate once you feel they are managing better.

He sounds like he is doing wonderfully though.

He sounds fine to me too.
He is actually saying a lot for his age!
My boy is nearly two and he only says 4 clear words which i'm sure is fine for this age.

Oldchestnut I think ur right its definitely important to keep going over the book,especially as they change and move into a new stage. I found that my ds was in the "single words" group but in some aspects almost but not quite a "combiner"... his understanding being ahead of his actual vocab. Think I should get dh to read the book (that probably wont happen but am trying to impose some of the guidelines on him) as he innocently sometimes does some major "donts" like saying words in the wrong context which could be confusing...or using the wrong pronunciation which ds uses instead of encourgaing him but repeating it in the correct way..I dont think he realises how hard I try and doesnt see the harm. I know pronunciation isnt that important at this stage and most toddlers say things not quite right - but the sounds he has are so far off the actual words it makes me wonder. Plus he has started making sounds with his tongue which sounds like complete gibberish...my mum said this is a good sign hes just trying to say things. The good thing is he is now listening and storing all those words as someone said before...I cant force him to say them...but just encourgage him as much as I can.

wedgeitt does ur ds use those same 4 words regularly?mine generally uses the same few words like car,ball,bubble,there and byebye,all gone...these words are recognisable to anyone but the other words im not quite sure if u can call them words...or if they are they are not used regularly. Do u think it is a confidence thing sometimes?ds has just startd to copy some words but he seems unsure of himself and im almost like did i hear him say that?Thought he said "isa (his name) got car" instead of I got car..and am sure he has said "co" for coat, "cuh" for cup and "buh" for bus...but hes not clearly saying them or repeating them so still unsure.Im so surprised how much it varies as there are so many people who seem to have 2 yr olds with only a handful of words...and others whos 18mth-2yr olds are having proper conversations...I guess they cant all be the same and all excel in differnt things...Im still pretty sure theres a huge differnce btween girls and boys with speech development,from my experience...but even then all children develop differntly anyway.

Hi Hanifah, my ds1 is 22 mths and also has v limited speech. Trying not to worry too much but must be slighty as reading various message boards etc. so what a relief to find yours!

words he says clearly are:
mama
dada
baba
there
nana

words he trys to say are:
b (ben his favourite teddy)
ba (bath)
mmm mmm (for motorbike/car/truck/bike - he says this alot!)
her (head - for head, shoulders, knees and toes rhyme)
bai (bye)
sta (start - start motorbike - hes motorbike mad)

Not really many words for his age but i'm hoping hes storing them up. He understands fully what we say to him but just not interested in trying to say anything!! He also makes animal sounds for cat/lion/tiger/sheep/cow/warthog - its mm mm ergh!!... the warthog goes munch munch burp...I know, don't ask!lol

Doesn't help that his older dd1 (7 years) progressed amazing well for her age and people would comment on her speech when she was the same age.

Just thought i'ld let you know someone else in the same boat.

Can you let me know which book you refer to as two are mentioned? Want to try and help him rather than goin down the speech therapist route.

Should also mention he is v active, fun to be around (most of the time) and is my little mate who i miss when at work.

Hi Gertie wow they sound very similar in their speech - both vehicle mad lol,for mine its car...sometimes Ive wondered will he ever say anything other than car vroom vroom(cute as it is lol)even the sounds and animal noises...sound like ur ds is also very expressive...perhaps they are waiting to be sure of all the words before bursting out with them all. The book is "It takes two to talk" by jan Pepper & Elaine Weitzman. I ordered it from Winslow as amazon was more expensive and winslow one also came with a dvd (not that ive watched it yet lol)I found the book really helpful and easy to read as its layed out nice and simple like a study workbook as opposed to some babybooks which are in the format of a novel...not particularly appealing to read...I dont know if its definitely worth the money (£60 for the set of book&dvd) but I figured I spend so much on toys and cute clothes for him - that its worth it if we gain any benefit at all or if it helps him progress a little...or even make me feel Im trying and doing the right thing lol. Its so good to hear lots of kids his age around same level of speech!

By the sounds of it your son sounds fine if you have any concerns talk to your health visitor. I have three children and your son sounds like he is doing what he should be doing for a 20 month old. When they are two they are meant to form three word sentences and a bit of role playing, but you should encourage this my daughter loves dressing as a princess. My only advice to you is keep updated with what your child should be doing at what ever age. good luck its never easy but what you put in you get back.

Guys, I teach baby signing for Sing and Sign, so am deeply interested in baby/toddler speech development. (also mum of 3 (ds1 19, dd 6 and ds2 3)

There's a charity, www.ican.org.uk which has loads and loads of useful info about speech/communication/language development.

It has a sister website, www.talkingpoint.org.uk which includes the "general" speech development milestones which you might find useful/reassuring.

ICAN works with families across the UK and they are devoted to supporting them and their little ones in developing the speaking/communication skills.

HTH anyone who might be feeling anxious or just plain curious about the development of speech.

Having had three children, all of them have started speaking differently:

DS1 - starting speaking at 13 months
DD - started speaking in 3 word sentences at 22 months, having said very little before that
DS2 - starting speaking at 18 months.

No rhyme or reason to it, really!

TrishCummings

aged 25 months ds1 said "op" for off, "dada" and "ayi" for ele(phant). Nothing else.
aged 25 months he said "think that washing machines finished washing our clothes now" - essentially normal speech in sentences.
Maybe some children just speak when they are ready?

Good God.

Your child is doing really well, and sounds like a lovely poppet.

And you are obviously a devoted mother, but you need to stop stressing.

My ds has one word. I need a stiff drink. And some flash cards! Where are my flash cards?!

thanks for all the reassurance and the links...definitely going to check them out.ds has had another set back as he caught a tummy bug (AGAIN) which means he was really sick and drowsy for a week and now hes getting better is moany and not himself...and wanting his dummy all day long LOL..was surprised in mothercare yesterday when he picked up a bag and said "bag" and gave the lady at the counter bubbles to pay for rather than just taking them LOL he still has another month to go until his 2nd birthday so we'll see...I am going to bring him to the gp though just to check his hearing and mouth muscles ok as the only thing I would be worried is its a physical thing(Im sure frm his understanding and communication/expression that its not a developmental problem)My friends 2 and a half year old had an appointment for a hearing check up as the newborn test was done incorrectly (dont know why it took so long for this appointment) she thought it was just routine but her ds has now been diagnosed with slight hearing loss and will need treatment and speech therapy. The thing is u can never be sure can u?