Is 19 months too young to think Mummy's kitchen is a restaurant?

[MrsWB]

My 19 month old DS goes through good and bad patches with his eating. He is currently in a bad patch and refusing most meals I offer him - even things he has happily eaten recently. Until yesterday I had been so desperate for him to eat that if he refused the meal I would get him snacky things (cheese, oatcakes, banana) instead.

Yesterday I started to think maybe I was storing up problems in the long run by doing this, because he will think he can always have an alternative. So at tea time when he refused both the main course (which was something he has happily eaten before) and yoghurt I just got him out of his high chair and cleared up. I just did the same at lunchtime today and now he is sleeping (he ate breakfast). I don't get cross - am just matter of fact about it.

I feel like the meanest mum around, but the objective part of me knows he won't let himself starve and if he wants to eat he will. He is generally happy with plenty of energy.

Just wondered if anyone else has done something similar at this age? And if so did it help? I want to feel like I am doing the right thing!

bump

i do the same re just taking it away after a while and clearing away.
some days he eats everything. other days not much interest at all.
i think sometimes its teething (he has only jus tgot his 5th tooth) and hes 17 months.

DD still does this at 2.6y. She gets offered her dinner, if she doesn't eat then it's nothing but fruit allowed until the next meal. Some days she eats for England, other days not,

I think you are doing absolutely the right thing. DS aged 2.7 is a fussy eater and I think its because we gave him too many options when he was younger.

If you feel bad about it you could put a number of different things on his plate, which is what I do sometimes. That way he can select what he likes without it turning into a battlefield.

Ditto what madeindevon2 says. Half the time he refused stuff he was probably teething/not hungry so we may well have exacerbated his fussiness by giving him too many different options.

Keep doing what you are doing, be strong, you are doing it for his own health.

I think what you're doing sounds reasonable. You are offering 2 courses, so he has some choice.

I would ensure that you are offering foods that you know he likes during his good patches, so that you can be more certain that he doesn't genuinely dislike what's on offer.

Or perhaps offer from just 2 choices, eg "would you like a cheese sandwich, or soup instead", so that he feels like he has some control over what he's eating, but you don't feel like a harassed short-order cook.

it's up to you really.

I personally think that cheese/oatcakes/banana are perfectly healthy, so if that's what he wants to eat then let him. But that's just my style. I know other parents don't like the hassle of offering other food if they have already prepared a meal and it has been rejected. I don't see any harm in it myself, especially at such a young age. I always keep a stock of bananas and crackers available for these situations - it's not like I am having to cook a whole different meal. We don't generally do puddings after our meals, just fruit or maybe a yoghurt.

if he's happy and full of energy then he sounds just fine to me. He's probably just not hungry today.

Thanks for all your replies. It's good to hear I am not the only one taking this approach. After I posted my message, at teatime DS ate what he had rejected for lunch, plus extra food I had got out for his tea, which shows he will eat when he is hungry! I think I will persevere with not running around getting alternative food and see how it goes. It's reassuring to hear it doesn't seem to have done any of your DCs any harm.

I tend to do the same with DD who is 2.3. I will however, make sure she is offered something more substantial for a snack a bit later on (not at the table or as an alternative) like lumps of cheese or a banana because it may be that they're genuinely not hungry at that moment.

That's a good idea. I did that on Tuesday (when I posted) as DS was very hungry after his nap. He polished off a banana (and still ate tea) but it was offered as a snack and not an alternative lunch option.