Wheres my quiet book-reader?

[Bekki]

I am a very quiet person and so I assumed any child of mine would portray the same characteristics. Yet today I helped out at playgroup and I saw the true horror of my childs behaviour. It turns out that there are three boys in the group who are a little 'difficult.' My son turns out to be one of them. He waves plastic hockey sticks in the air and chases the girls with them, he puts on his monster voice and declares 'I'm going to kill you!' He then stops and plays with the play-doh as though nothing has happened. The playgroup leader assures me that hes just a boy and they all do that but I have noticed a change in his behaviour since starting playgroup 2 months ago. She did suggest that television is the problem though and she said that maybe he shouldn't be watching robotwars and buffy the vampire slayer. My son is also a snitch. Does anyone else have a similar problem?

My ds1 is now 4 and a half and when he started nursery at almost three hadn't watched anything other than teletubbies, tweenies and a few disney films. After a couple of months at nursery he was running around with anything vaguely gun shaped - pieces of lego, the inside of the kitchen roll, a stick -shouting about killing and being dead. He still does it and now ds2 who is 21 months copies him and I have two lunatics running around. It is definitely a boy thing. I don't make a big thing about it and I don't buy toy guns or swords. He also plays quietly with other toys at times and is able to sit for periods reading or drawing - although not for nearly as long as i've noticed friends daughters doing ! If you make an issue of it (like anything) they'll only do it more to wind you up.

I don't think we get to pick our children. Does he watch a lot of TV? Have you tried cutting down?

Well most of the time I have the opposite in that my ds1 is painfully shy so we're constantly trying to make him louder! Ds2 sounds more like yours. If I were you I think I would just be delighted that he's settled so well at his playgroup especially so soon after starting. I wouldn't worry at the moment. But I might be checking out how the playgroup does handle obvious misbehaviours. Is your son fine at home and out and about or is it just a playschool? If it's at home as well then perhaps it is the television.
I wouldn't worry about snitching either. Mine started growing out of it when they started primary school. And sometimes I think the "snitched-upon" child seems almost to expect it.

I would say though that buffy the vampire slayer is quite an adult show (rated 15 on all the dvds and Angel (the spin off) is rated 18) - not sure that I'd be entirely comfortable with a preschooler watching it! There's moments this season that I find disturbing, let alone a young child. Can't comment on robotwars as I've never seen it.

Do agree though that boys are generally boisterous (hence the word I guess!)

I have to agree with you GeorginaA.

I think people can be fooled by the cute name but some of the themes are very dark - rape and addiction featured prominently in last seasons storylines.

My sons hate the very theme music ( though that could be because it means that Mammy is about to turn off the TV and turn on the video recorder! )

I wouldn't worry about 'snitching' but I agree that Buffy isn't a suitable programme for young children. It's really a teen horror series. I am wary of the TV so ds watches Tellytubby videos and very little else. I also think that our kids aren't clones so we shouldn't be surprised if they aren't like us. I think it's fascinating seeing how much they differ.

Totally agree. I always assumed that violent and/or inappropriate programmes for pre-schoolers would be shown after the water shed. It wasn't until my son was about a year old and started to notice the T.V that I realised that Buffy was inappropriately placed in the schedules. My husband refuses to turn it off however and I realise theres no way around this apart from taking my son out of the room (which is a challenge in itself). On Sky the new series is shown at 8 o'clock which is perfect for us as my son is in bed by 7.30, but the new series is incredibly violent and very scary and I can't imagine how they will edit that for 6.45 viewings on the BBC. To be completely honest my sons behaviour stems from play fights with his dad and they always watch the spiderman cartoon together which i know influences alot of his language. But I suppose the damamge is done, its just a case of switching off the t.v and getting out the books. Not that that would encourage him to read, it would just make him search for his spiderman pants and go and fight with daddy. Maybe this next baby will be my quiet one.

6.45?! Good grief they must have to do a lot of cutting for it to be shown then! At least Sky seem to appreciate that it's target audience are late teens and adults.... sheesh. I guess that's what you get with programmers who just look at the title...

I think that's even more scary...