my nearly 4 yr old ds swearing......

[LittleMissShy]

We had a friend visiting last week and dh was in the shower with the door locked, we normally leave doors open but cos my friend was here he locked it and ds started banging on the door saying "open the f*ing door." Naturally I was mortified and said to him that we don't say things like that but tried not to make such a big issue out of it, he just laughed and ran off.

Has anyone any words of wisdom to offer if this keeps happening??

Where is he hearing this sort of language? Children will always copy the language they hear. It is near impossible to stop them using words like that if that is a 'normal' word in your house. Kids don't understand that some words ar for grown up use only. In fact telling them that will add to the allure of useing them.

Don't use words like that around him (if you do) and make it clear to him that this is not acceptable behaviour

DON'T, whatever you do, make a big deal of it. Stay calm, say 'we don't say that' or whatever you want to say and he will stop. If, however, he gets a big exciting reaction from you as a result of swearing, he will carry on IME. My ds once said to me 'I don't like you, you, you, you, horrible...BLOKE!' Hmm, I'd obviously used that as if it was an offensive term one time too often! Really, remove the excitement and I bet he stops saying it. I also gave my ds a reaction the first time he told me to shut up (which he definitely DIDN'T get from me, I don't say it) and he then realised it was the thing to say to make me cross. So I learned this the hard way.

thanks hmb but it is not a normal word in our house, he goes to nursery but don't think he would hear it there and if he did the teachers wouldn't tolerate it.

So not sure where he heard it, was just wondering how to handle it in the future as am sure that making a fuss would make him use it more cos he would be getting attention for it

sorry www crossed post, thanks for the advice, I tried not to sound upset and cross and it didn't help with my friend trying her utmost not to laugh

thanks again

That being the case I would echo what www said. Don't make as issue about it, but make it clear that it isn't a word that you use. I tend to wisper to my kids 'Don't be vulgar' with a stern look! And that tends to be enough, at least at the moment

Let him know that it's a word some naughty grownups use when they are very cross, but it's not a good word for a little boy to use. My ds is 6 and although we don't swear around him at home, we recognise that he's bound to pick up stuff at school from children with less disciplined parents. We've taught him that some words are bad and if he says them in public (ie at school etc) he'll definitely get into big trouble for it. We've said that if he really feels the need to use bad words (though obviously we discourage it), he should make sure he's not caught out by a grown-up.