OVERREACTION IN A 3 YEAR OLD... ?HOW TO TONE IT DOWN?

[MrsBigD]

Couldn't think how to phrase the title so it's probably a bit strong

I'm sort of stuck on what to do with dd (3.2yo) and her overreaction to everything. I'm guessing it's a phase, as so many things are, but was just wondering how I can 'guide' her...

Here's an example: she says she wants juice & milk which can either be milk and juice separately or one of these drink yoghurt things. the problem is that if I 'dare' offer the wrong one she gets absolutely hysterical... I just stay calm and tell her nicely that all she has to do is say 'the other one' or 'no' etc. but so far no success in getting calmers responses.

I won't even go into the tantrums she's having if I say 'no' to her, which in her eyes is a most terrible telling off, but I think that's most definitely a 3 year old thing.

Can't you bring her to the fridge to point out the one she wants? I have a 2.6 yo who can go doolally for no reason as well so sympathies. I'd start giving the drinks real names so eventually no confusion i.e yoghurt drink, orange, milk etc.

Ooh, yes, ds1 used to throw his arms in the air and roar! Anything that was slightly "off" the routine, he didn't like at all. Like you, I just tried to stay calm. He's 4 in June and has been much better and more reasonable most of the time. Mind you, when he does do tantrums, whilst being less frequent, they seem to be more spectacular!

I spend my life telling my kids to "calm down". Sorry, that probably doesn't help much, but I'm saying it to myself, too.

I spend my life treading on eggshells with my 3 yr old. He has only just started being like this. As soon as I say the wrong thing ('no', or' time to go to school' or 'get your breakfast' or 'no more sweets' ) his shoulders shrug to one side, his eyes go very big and he mutters 'i don't', and then he just goes mental for half an hour. twice this week I've walked to school with him screaming down the road. He is a nightmare

Hi,my 3 year old is just the same.I f something on his plate is cut up he goes mad,he is so independant wants to cut it himself or he has to make his own sandwiches.I susspose that is quite good in some ways but when your in a hurry you just want to get on with it.
Irelate to drinks thing,he can never make up his mind and whichever one you choose you can bet it's the wrong one.My dh always says don't give him the choice but easier said than done.
My nearly 2 year old is getting to be the same way,getting lessons from big brother i expect.
I think her terrrible 2's have started a few omths early.
Like you say it probably is a phase,here's hoping for both of us it dos'nt last too long!!!

Sounds much like my 2.7yr old too!!!

Anything deemed 'wrong' is a major earth shaking event, and he throws himself on the floor screaming. I just walk out the room and close the door. He then comes to me, says sorry, and all is forgiven....strange things these kiddies of ours .

Sending hugs, I know how hard it is.

Chant this calming mantra given to me by Snugs....

it's only a phase..it's only a phase..it's only a phase.

Hasn't stopped them yet, but chant it loudly enough, and they do give you odd looks.
Snugs only told me yesterday, and I tried it last night....raised some giggles, and it actually could start to help!!!

Thanks all. It's so good to know I'm not on my own

it's just a phase, it's just a phase, it's just a phase

It's just so frustrating as whenever dd goes into a screaming fit, ds (6 months) gets upset too, because big sister is iykwim. Usually at that point I pick up ds and leave the room with the well love chant mentioned by psychomum5 though I alternate with 'they're only little and don't know any better' (though sometimes I do wonder)

the little girl i used to look after was like this.

If she had a screaming fit at me I would look at her, and tell her that I wouldn't give her anything or talk to her while she was screaming.
I told her that if she wants something then she asks nicely.

I would then ignore her until she asked properly for what she wanted...
she soon got the hang of it!

I sort of do that when dd runs of sulking into her room (out of her own volition!). She has a strop, runs in there and starts screaming. I usually just shut the door and tell her she can come out when she's calmed down. usually go check after 5 mins though only to find her playing. She's such a little actress... or was is huge drama queen?!

I also tried the 'speak slowly/clearly so I can understand you' but that hasn't quite sunk in yet.