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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Tricks to get baby to take a dummy?

28 replies

IlanaK · 25/10/2008 20:59

Ok, please read this in full before you shoot me down!

My third baby is now just 3 months old. I have tried (a bit half heartedly) to give him a dummy a few times at various points, but he has refused. I was not too unhappy about this as ds2 had a dummy and it was such a pain in the you know what all the time. Ds1 sucked his thumb and this was great. So we were hoping ds3 would do the same - but no luck.

I am breastfeeding (I am a bf counsellor by the way so know the evils of dummies, but am confident in feeding and not worried about it affecting attachment). I feed whenever he wants which is quite frequent - not a problem for me. I co-sleep and feed through the night - again happy with this. What I am not happy with is that he will only sleep with my breast IN his mouth. I am happy to feed him off to sleep and then carry in a sling - he is less happy as he wants to stay on my breast and therefore screams in the sling until asleep. He will happily feed off to sleep and then sleep on my lap with breast in mouth - not practical with two other children and out and about all day (I have tried multiple times to feed in various slings - I am an experienced sling wearer - but it just does not work with my shape and size).

So, what he desperately needs is a dummy to suck while sleeping when I am not able to have him attached to me. But will he take one? Oh no. I have tried cherry teats, orthodontic teats, the NUK teats which are sort of their own unique shape, and the Tommee Tippee closer to nature ones that are sort of like nipples that move in and out when they suck. This is the one he pushes out of his mouth less than the others, but he is still not really taking it.

I spent today actually dipping the dummy into my expressed breastmilk before putting it into his mouth in a desperate attempt to get him to take it! It sounds ridiculous but true!

So, what on earth do I do to get him to take a dummy? He will not suck his own fingers/thumb. He will only occasionally suck my finger (though I would be happy to do this for him). I am out of ideas and desperate for him to take the dummy!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

dilbertina · 25/10/2008 21:05

Gently tapping it when it's in his mouth might work.

Original poster

IlanaK · 25/10/2008 21:12

Tried that! He is currently on dh lap with the dummy being held in his mouth ( he is not upset by this before anyone shoots me down!). Apparantly he is doing the occasional suck, but he is not really "getting" it yet.

I don't understand it really. Ds2 took a dummy right away with no problems (not that we wanted him to have one at the time!)

OP posts:

meandmyjoe · 25/10/2008 21:21

Mmm it's a hard thing to do, my ds would never take one but although I had to feed him to sleep he didn't need it in his mouth all the time he was asleep. I would just keep persevering. Also have you tried feeding him to sleep then replacing your nipple with the teet so he is not too aware of the transition? Can't think of anything else really, some babies LOVE dummies, some hate them but he obviosly does like to suck so hopefully he'll get the hang of it soon. Don't forget a lot of the comfort he gets from your breast is because it's you, it smells of mummy and tastes like mummy and it's not easy to replicate that!

meandmyjoe · 25/10/2008 21:22

sorry, dummy not teet??? I was watching x factor whilst typing!

Original poster

IlanaK · 25/10/2008 21:23

I know! If only I could have a velcro breast that removes when needed!

OP posts:

stayinbed · 25/10/2008 21:24

i was very persistent with the tapping, did it till my fingers were tired, did that a few times until it stuck.
every time she would stup sucking i would start the gentle tapping again

this was after dd1 never took a dummy and it made things very difficult!!

meandmyjoe · 25/10/2008 21:27

Oooh there's an idea Ilana, perhaps you shout patent the idea before someone else does! I bet every man in the country would want some!

Original poster

IlanaK · 25/10/2008 21:31

Ok, I will try the tapping again. The ones we are now using do not have a plastic bit at the end to tap - they are sort of hollow which allows them to move in and out when he sucks. But I will try to find spot to tap!

OP posts:

accessorizequeen · 25/10/2008 21:33

Have you tried stroking his nose when you put it in, that's worked for my dt's. All my dc's have preferred the mam ones esp the really small newborn ones. Sympathies!

TinkerBellesMum · 25/10/2008 21:45

Have you tried backing it up with something like a Cuski?

They need to make a dummy that's more realistic, with smell and warmth for breastfed babies. Maybe they could have it like the medicine dispencer one that you can put a little milk in it.

Original poster

IlanaK · 25/10/2008 22:21

Both my other two have cuskis that they are very attached to so I had bought one for ds3 before he was even born. We have had it in the bed with us since birth but he has not been interested so far.

OP posts:

chipmonkey · 25/10/2008 22:32

Ilana, what we found with the closer to Nature one was that if we gently pushed it in and out of his mouth at about the same rate that he sucked at the breast, he would suddenly get the idea. Does that make sense? I just had to ask dh how you would describe the motion and that was the best we could come up with!

TinkerBellesMum · 25/10/2008 23:02

LOL sorry but it sounds like your son is well and truly attached to his mummy!

Thinkstoomuch · 25/10/2008 23:13

Lol velcro breast - I remember feeling like that in the early months. DS2 wouldn't take one either and what worked for me was doing the 'Pantley Pull-off' (from No-Cry Sleep Solution' if you don't know it). Basically as they are drifting off at the end of a feed, you take the nipple out. They protest, so you put it back in. Then you wait another minute for them to drift off and take it out again. Repeat, repeat, repeat, until they eventually sleep. You do this at every feed and EVENTUALLY - and it does take time - they settle without the boob because they are used to the sensation of it being taken away. It's a gradual and gentle technique, and does take a lot of patience.

It really did work for me, I'm pleased to say and by 4-5 months he was taking himself to sleep, not always in my bed and not always in the sling during the day. And he was a VERY clingy baby to begin with.

Justine2912 · 26/10/2008 07:54

This brings back memories, my DS just didnt want to take a dummy and spent ages tapping away to try and get him to have one, he really suffered with Colic and then just one day he seemed to take to it, however hes now 21 months and loves his dummy and we are slowly trying to wean him off it ( not much luck at the moment though) we used the Avent ones and the seemed to take to these better than the others.

Original poster

IlanaK · 26/10/2008 12:01

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I really don't mind him being attached to me - hence me carrying him in a sling. Problem is my anatomy doesn't allow me to carry him in the sling AND keep my breast in his mouth!

OP posts:

MurderousMarla · 26/10/2008 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinkerBellesMum · 26/10/2008 12:18

I'm getting worried about my baby after seeing her with her toe in her mouth this week!

What sling are you using? And, if you don't mind me asking a personal question, what size are you? The reason I ask is that I'm 34H (well I was last time, I need a new fitting) and used to feed my prem baby in a wrap sling.

PoppyCock · 26/10/2008 12:22

i can't do it either tinksmum, her face gets too jammed by my breast. (tis aitch btw). any tips gratefully rec'd. how are you doing? i want you in bed, no false moves, y'hear?

Original poster

IlanaK · 26/10/2008 12:43

I have tried in a variety of slings - ring slings, close, wrap (karime), meitei. I am a plus sized woman - quite large really (though short) as well as having volumnous hanging down breasts (a real catch really!). It just does not work for me - though if there is anyone in central london who can show me how, please say!

I have not read no cry sleep solution as I am not really looking for a solution to feeding him to sleep - quite happy to continue. Just need a way to settle him whaen I can't stick my breast in his mouth.

OP posts:

TinkerBellesMum · 26/10/2008 13:06

I think I used to get myself in first, expose myself and then lower her in, the cummerbund has to be under the head too. Have you seen my pictures of putting her in the sling? The wrap can also make a big difference, I go over where a lot of instructions tell you to tuck in and I find it's a big difference in the hold.

I'm ok, still at it - Mum threatened me that she wanted her extra hour in bed last night after seeing and feeling my tummy go hard! Nothing much happening though so hopefully it stops soon. I'm taking it pretty easy as my parents have taken Tink home so that I'm not left on my own with her or have to deal with her in the middle of the night if something happens.

TinkerBellesMum · 26/10/2008 13:07

If I'm allowed to go to visit the stepsons soon I don't mind helping you.

PoppyCock · 26/10/2008 14:24

you are NOT ALLOWED

TinkerBellesMum · 26/10/2008 14:34

I'm hoping it will have stopped in two weeks, any later than that and I'll be as far as I've ever gone in pregnancy and wouldn't risk it. I've found a nice photo studio in London and want to take the boys while I'm still pregnant.

PoppyCock · 26/10/2008 14:41

tinksmum

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