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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Are 2 year development checks with a HV compulsory?

23 replies

ohdearwhatamess · 13/10/2008 09:58

Just had a really frustrating conversation with a HV who was trying to arrange a 2 year check for ds1 (2.5 years).

She got really annoyed with me when I explained that the times and dates she suggested weren't possible for us, and also said I couldn't bring ds2 with me. She went off in a huff in the end, with no appointment made (having explained how busy they were and I should fit in with them).

Is it just a box ticking exercise, or am I missing something?

OP posts:

RubySlippers · 13/10/2008 10:00

not compulsary

they don't even do them where i live

MrsMattie · 13/10/2008 10:00

What's the matter with her? Silly woman!

I found it a complete and utter waste of time, but hey...I don't particularly get on with most HVs

Acinonyx · 13/10/2008 10:01

We did ours as a checklist by post.

pushchair · 13/10/2008 10:03

DD1 had one when we moved into the area, she was 3. DDs 2and 3 havent had one and nobody has contacted me. Then again I didnt bother with clinic much with those two.

Original poster

ohdearwhatamess · 13/10/2008 10:12

I think I'll just keep my head down and hope she forgets about us.

OP posts:

seeker · 13/10/2008 10:16

No contact with a Health Visitor is compulsory. If you're not worried about anything I would just say politely thanks but no thanks.

For what it's worth, I last saw the HV with ds when he was 8 weeks old, and she told me he wasn't putting weight on fast enough and I should top him up with formula. He was absolutely fine, just putting on weight slower than the charts said he should. So I never went back.

seeker · 13/10/2008 10:16

Anyway, what are they going to do if you don't turn up/ Come round and repossess your baby?!

WideWebWitch · 13/10/2008 10:17

Don'#t go, dd hasn't seen a HV since she was about 10 days old, she's about to be 5. It's not compulsory! You shouldn't fit in with them, silly woman, ignore her.

cmotdibbler · 13/10/2008 10:22

I did take DS for his (after long arguement about when it could be done that didn't involve me taking half a day off from work). Totally pointless as she expected a child who hadn't ever met her before (we moved here when he was 16 months old and hadn't seen a HV since he was 1 anyway) to obey her requests straightaway, rather than chatting to me first, and then doing things.

I won't bother with them again, in spite of her trying to tell me that I should go to clinic.

toobusytothink · 13/10/2008 10:26

We don't even get offered one here.
Not compulsory at all.
I lost contact with my HV by the time DD was 2 months because I couldn't stand her opinionated manner.
Tell her that everything is fine and you aren't concerned and don't feel you need one

Tortington · 13/10/2008 10:27

is anything with HV compusory

i'd tell em to fook off

never took mine to be weighed

arse to that

cyberseraphim · 13/10/2008 11:09

We don't have them in my area now. For DS1 (ASD) failing the assessment started the ball rolling in terms of accessing services. DS2 (NT) did not get an assessment but then he does not need one. I am concerned that young children in our area who are autistic will be even further away from services than they are now.

SmallShips · 13/10/2008 12:30

Wish i didn't do my sons 2 year check. I thought he was fine, but she made me feel awful. He was regressing abit as DD was a week old. I've cut all contact since. Not necessary, unless you have any concerns IMO.

pagwatch · 13/10/2008 12:37

My DD saw the HV once - full stop.
None of the services are compulsory.

moyasmum · 13/10/2008 12:46

went to every appt,and they made me feel irrelevant.
Do understand that they should keep tabs on kids. We hear too many horror stories, just wish hvs could be more pleasant.

pagwatch · 13/10/2008 12:54

but if they were not weighing and measuring every healthy child in the country ( and angsting many parents for no good reason)perhaps they could spread some resources to parents who actually need support.

I know my children do not to need to ge kept under scrutiny. And I do not feel the need to prove that they are fine iyswim

JollyPirate · 13/10/2008 12:59

Not compulsory at all - many areas don't even do them and just send a questionnaire. Tell her your child is fine and decline the appointment.

kt14 · 13/10/2008 13:54

agree with cyberseraphim, my ds was one that really should have had a check at 2yrs as he was just starting to show subtle signs of autism at that age. He didn't get an official one but I got the HV to check him anyway when she came to see newborn ds2 and that started the ball rolling to help him.

I know they're not necessary for some children, I'm not concerned about ds2 right now, but I really don't think we should be putting people off them, especially for first children (I had no clue about autism or the warning signs back then) and our HV was and has been great.

I would never have expected to be one of the parents who needed support, or to have a child with SN but it turns out I am. If you have any concerns over your child, (not suggesting the OP does, just anyone else reading this) no matter how trivial, have the 2 yr check.

LoopyLena · 13/10/2008 14:01

I has a letter in the post to say I had been invited to attend a "now you are 2 years old" group session.

It went on to say, if I have no concerns regarding my childs health and development just phone the above number to arrange to pick up my free Bookstart pack!

pagwatch · 13/10/2008 14:04

No one is sayingthey shouldn't attend if they have concerns. No one has said that. But I would still say that if you don't have concerns and visits are feeling onerous or intrusive then do not attend out of obligation.

my DS2 is severely autistic.
My hv not only didn't notice but actually spent a lot of time trying to persuade me that he wasn't .

LoopyLena · 13/10/2008 14:14

I just quoted what my letter said. I don't rate my HV anyway for reasons I won't bore you with!

I do know other people with fantastic HV's and I am very jealous!!!!

I think if my experiance with this HV had been better I would go just for the hell of it and to get the free books!!!

I am actually thinking of going anyway, as it's a group session and I can tell them about CDH/DDH and spread awareness of these conditions and how easily they are missed by HV's despite expressing concerns for 6 months!!!!

Not sure how well it would go down though!!!

Original poster

ohdearwhatamess · 13/10/2008 16:14

Don't have any concerns about my 2yo and really don't feel I have anything to gain from this. Seems like a waste of my time and the HV's time.

I used to have a lovely HV but have been reallocated to this annoying and uppity one.

OP posts:

Soprana · 13/10/2008 16:28

Compulsory? Getting them to take an iota of interest in DD since they ticked all the boxes on their initial forms would be like getting blood out of a stone. Waste of bleedin' time, IMO. Tell them to sling it.

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