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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Any advice on my DD high pitched screaming PLEASE!!!!!!

21 replies

tonkin · 03/03/2005 22:38

Hello There,
Im at my wits end and in need of ANY ADVICE PLEASE!!!
My DD is 18months old and does this high pitched scream all the time. She does it when she is happy, sad, upset, mad, bored, etc etc.
I have tried ignoring her, which only makes it worse. Making her kiss my ears better, lol because it "hurts mummys ears"
I have been distracting her and trying to get her to whisper,but to no avail....
It's really getting me down and I am starting to dread taking her out anywhere now because I just cant get her to stop doing it.
I have been asked to leave shops because she is just so loud!!!
I feel so bad when we get home from a trip out and I have spent the day telling her off of trying to get her to be quiet, Am I doing something wrong????
PLEASE PLEASE any advice would help.

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Frizbe · 03/03/2005 22:41

This probably doesn't sound good, but if my dd does any high pitched screaming, I do it back at her and that usually shuts her up, as she finds it so funny....

oatcake · 03/03/2005 22:43

Have you tried chastising her???!

Put her on a naughty step, or shut her in her room until she stops, or no treats etc.

I'm sure 'it's just a phase', but I don't envy you...

Original poster

tonkin · 03/03/2005 22:43

lol thanks but I have tried that as well.Think it only made her worse as she thought it was a game.

OP posts:

jabberwocky · 03/03/2005 22:44

Interesting, my ds has been doing the same but it doesn't sound like it is as often as your dd. (He is also 18 months btw). I have been just calmly looking at him when he does it and saying things like "Wow, that's a really loud/high/different noise you've learned to make isn't it?" I do have rather sensitive ears, though so when he does really loud obnoxious things sometimes I will ask him to stop because it "hurts mommy's ears" just as you have and that usually works too. Maybe talk with her about when and where - and for how long LOL -she can practice her new wonderful sound.

Original poster

tonkin · 03/03/2005 22:45

Thanks oatcakes,
Ill give that a try, anything to give my ears a rest!!!!

OP posts:

MissGalway · 03/03/2005 22:45

Mine does that all the time. we tend to ignore and it stops. I can talk over it now and he gets so annoyed when we don't react.

sacha3taylor · 03/03/2005 22:47

I don't want to make you feel worse, but my DD is nearly 3 and still has the same hich pitched scream! We have never known what to do about it as nothing seems to make any difference. Saying that, recently i have been threatening to take away here special cushion that she uses like a security thing and this has helped a little. GOOD LUCK

jabberwocky · 03/03/2005 22:48

Yes, I think the least reaction is actually best. In the beginning at least, she was probably just experimenting new things with her voice but then discovered that she could cause a lot of excitement and get attention from it.

ionesmum · 03/03/2005 22:49

You could try ignoring her and leaving the room - a sort of reversed time out - she's only 18 mo so might be a bit young for proper time out IMHO. If she follows you, go into another room - or shut yourself in. Might be worth a try? I am sure you are not doing anything wrong, she's just got into a habit esp. as it gets her lots of attention when she is out. My dd1 went through a phase of screaming at preschool and she was sat on a chair on her own. She only did it once - but she was nearly a year older than your dd.

oatcake · 03/03/2005 22:50

yeah, say "whatever" in that wonderful sarcastic voice, and then stick some Boots earplugs in your ears and walk away!

If you're in a shop, would she be intimidated by a staff member coming up and telling her off (with your permission of course)? In a museum last year, ds would not do as I asked so I had a word with a curator who told him the same as I was telling him and he just stood there, stock still, nodding and was as good as gold for the rest of the visit...

ionesmum · 03/03/2005 22:53

oatcake

Original poster

tonkin · 03/03/2005 22:54

I'll give the less attention route a go I think, She thinks it is great when we are out and can make a room full of people jump ten feet in the air!! May be if I try to igonre her and bide my time it will pass
OH PLEASE LET IT PASS lol

OP posts:

jabberwocky · 03/03/2005 22:56

Yes, and if she does it when you are out if at all possible just calmly say, "Well, we have to go because you can't do that here. It disturbs other people" And then leave ASAP!

Original poster

tonkin · 03/03/2005 22:59

Thanks you guys,
Feel better already...untill tomorrow and it all starts again lol

OP posts:

nightowl · 03/03/2005 23:45

my dd does this too. it makes my nerves bad really! all of a sudden i will be sitting there and she lets rip a really ear splitting scream. its when shes sad, angry or happy. ive been a frazzled wreck lately! i dont know how to handle it either...it just comes out of nowhere.

jabberwocky · 04/03/2005 02:44

I guess our kids are like us but less inhibited . Sometimes I want to just let out a shriek myself. In fact I have been known to do so but with my ADs the tendency has lessened .

mummylonglegs · 04/03/2005 14:06

Has she been doing it for long now?

It must be great fun for her to have found such an effective noise and such an attention-grabbing device! You've got to find a way to stop it giving her anything worth doing it for. I'd try yawning, talking over the top of it, generally giving no reaction whatsoever other than total indifference. I don't see how you can punish her as she's not being 'bad' by doing it, just exuberant!

Original poster

tonkin · 04/03/2005 22:23

she has been doing it on and off since she she was around a year old. At first I found It quite funny!!!! but now it just goes straight through me. By the end of the day im exhausted. She does it more when we are out and about because she loves to get the attention. I can cope when we are at home and she does it because I can ignore her then or leave her in her room etc.It's going out with her that is getting me down

OP posts:

mummylonglegs · 05/03/2005 13:29

Probably, inadvertently, in the beginning when you found it funny you reinforced it. And now when you're out I guess every time someone responds in any way that also reinforces it. I was thinking of you actually because I was in Mothercare this morning with a little girl who I guess was about 2 who was doing exactly what you describe and everyone around was complaining and / or staring and the mum was doing her best to ignore it and carry on with what she was doing. My dd's never done it really except for a phase of her screeching in the lobby of our block of flats whenever we got home (made a good echo I think!) I just ignored it for ages and if she did it when we got to our floor I told her she'd wake everyone up in their homes and they'd come out and tell her off and she seemed to decide that wasn't a good idea!

I don't know what to suggest except to continually give it no response on your part until she's a bit older and you can explain why not to do it in a way she'll respond to.

morningpaper · 05/03/2005 14:02

When my daughter was about this age she was quite capable of understanding 'time out' and punishments. In cases of extreme behaviour I would threaten to make her sit in her room by herself. Gave her two chances, the first time "If you don't stop that, I am going to make you sit in your room"; second time "I'm going to count to three, and if you are still xxx I am going to take you to your room; 1,2,3."

I would then carry her to her room and close the door until she had figured out that I was entirely serious (only ever took a few minutes).

Might be overly disciplinarian for some people of course.

megandsoph · 05/03/2005 23:25

I always remember my mum saying something about my younger brother being like this at around the same age as ur wee one.... he was sooo load in public doing the high pitched scream.... my mother was a painfully shy lady and would always demand he stop so the people around would stop looking at her but now she wishes she hadn't bother about it so much as it was a sure sign of him being a confident little one but as he had this drummed out of him he has too turned into an unconfident young man which my mum belives had something to do with this.... I know it's embarrasing and I'm going through it with DD2.. childminder keeps asking me to try sort it out but I am trying to ignore her let the lil one be herself as I know she will eventually grow out of it some times she does it and as someone else mentioned on this thread I just do it bk to her as hopefully she will eventually get emmbarressed by me doing it and calm it down a wee bit... awwww lil ones eh who'd have em?????

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