At what age would you expect a child to wipe their own bottom? Should nursery help with this?

[blueskythinker]

My DD 3.4 has just started nursery school. She would be one of the youngest in the class, having an early June birthday.

She is very competent at using the toilet, apart from wiping her bottom. At home, she just gives me a shout, and I wipe it for her. I have tried to encourage her to do it herself, but she isn't interested.

I noticed last week after coming home from nursery, that her bottom hadn't been wiped after a poo. I asked her do the teachers help her to wipe her bottom and she said no.

Before I discuss it with the teacher, I wanted to gauge what 'normal' was. Are all other children this age wiping their own bottom's successfully? Would you expect teachers / TAs in nursery school to help children with this?

[AussieSim]

4 here too!

[Smithagain]

"I am ROFLing at all the people saying their children have too short arms "

Well I'm glad to have amused you Twiglett, but I checked very carefully last night after hearing about all the clever three year olds that can do it and DD2 CANNOT REACH HER ANUS from behind. Her arm is not long enough.

She could reach between her legs to wipe a poo away, but that is a good way for her to get an infection.

So for the time being, I will help her, if that's OK with you. And her nursery teachers don't have a problem with it.

[Anna8888]

At my daughter's school there is a lavatory attendant for the 2/3/4 year olds; she helps wherever necessary, at the child's request.

[Tutter]

heck, lots of hardcore parenting here

ds1 is 3.4yo

he doesn't yet wipe himself

but he has only been out of nappies for 4 months

[TigerFeet]

DD is 4.3 and still has trouble wiping her bum

IMHO this is in part because it was done for her at nursery so she never really learned how even though she has to do it herself at home. We tell her she has to try herself and then if it needs an extra wipe then I'll do that. She is getting better now but we don't have a 100% success rate.

She hasn't yet pooed at school afaik - she is fairly regular and has got into the habit of doing a poo before bed.

This length of arms thing is a bit of a red herring imo - surely a child's arms are in a similar proportion to their body no matter how old they are? They don't get comparitively longer than their torso with age do they? (Am happy to be corrected here but it's not something I've noticed)

[ForeverOptimistic]

allgonebellyup, are you really a nanny? I sincerely hope not.

[RideEmCowboy]

I have trained ds1 to poo at home before we leave for pre school and before his bath in the evening. Saves a lot of hassle.

[Smithagain]

"They don't get comparitively longer than their torso with age do they? "

Yes, they do. So do legs.

Have a look at kids clothes - the arms and legs get longer a lot faster than the body.

[Smithagain]

And their heads are huge in comparison to their bodies. Kids bodies are in totally different proportion to adults.

[Upwind]

I've noticed that while toddlers do have short arms and legs they are remarkably flexible and seem well able to bend sideways

[RedOnHerBeheadedHead]

DS1 is 3.10yrs now - he was only just 3 when he started nursery in January (december birthday) and I made sure that he could wipe his own bottom by then - though even now he misses bits! His nursery like them to be very independent, and TBH i prefer it this way. We actually had a chat about inappropriate touch last night - triggered by a few things - one thread on here somewhere and the fact that DS's great grandmother secretly smokes and DS caught her and she asked him to keep it a secret (i don't believe children should be asked to keep secrets because if something serious happened and they were asked to keep it secret it would be awful. So i think i prefer it that only he is to touch his bottom or as we spoke about last night, mummy or daddy when it needs to be cleaned.

Children can surely reach their bottoms cant they? It's just a matter of them arching their backs to do it.

[Smithagain]

Maybe that's the problem Upwind. Our loo is in an incredibly small room. I mean so small that we cannot fit a sink in there and have to wash hands in the bathroom next door.

So gymnastic, leaning-over-sideways bum-wiping is not an option. You have to be able to lean back!

Can't believe I'm having this conversation LOL!

[Upwind]

Smithagain - I am having some difficulty in imagining a loo so small that a toddler can't bend! Surely, in that case, adults would not be able to squeeze in there to assist with bum-wiping?

[TigerFeet]

Thanks Smithagain, not the first time I've been wrong

I knew about the heads being out of proportion but not the limbs.

Upwind - toddlers are remarkably flexible until you try and get them into a buggy when they don't want to go in and then they are stiffer than an iron bar.

[Kewcumber]

so DS does have freakishly long arms tehn.

On he downside he just loves to stick his finger in his bottom and wave it at random people laughing hysterically. So those whose children are challenged in the bottom wiping dapartment should count themselves lucky.

[RedOnHerBeheadedHead]

Tigerfeet, they are flexible until you try to get them to do something they don't want to do! So it's probably a matter of not wanting to do it, more than can't do it.

Also, if they get poo on their hands (which happens) then its important to get them into the handwashing habit.

[RedOnHerBeheadedHead]

kewcumber! LOL - poor you!

[Smithagain]

"Surely, in that case, adults would not be able to squeeze in there to assist with bum-wiping?"

Ah - but I'm really tall, so I can reach over her head. DH on the other hand is really small, so she has to get down and turn round so he can help. (Are you getting a good picture here !)

Seriously, it's that small. One day we'll extend the house. One day. One day. .......

LOL at Kewcumbers hysterical bottom/finger waving boy. I shall count myself blessed to have an incompetent 3yo!

[Kewcumber]

oh its an ill wind, hours of amusement to be had at very little cost, Red!

[Kewcumber]

to be fair when I say random people - I do mean freinds and family at home - not roaming around M&S cafe...

[RedOnHerBeheadedHead]

surely your toilet has room for the door to be opened into it? I am picturing it the same size as my nans - toilet in one "room" and bath and sink in the next "room". The toilet is about the size of a public toilet cubicle.

[Smithagain]

That's it, Red!

I shall conduct further experiments this afternoon, to see if we can hit upon an effective technique for short-armed-three-year-olds-in-small-rooms!

To be honest, I'd be very happy to get her trained, instead of bellowing at me for help when I'm trying to get on with something. But she does seem to be physically disadvanted.

And now I really must do some work ...

[seeker]

I have decided not to post on this thread as I would be too embarrassed to admit that my ds could sail a dinghy single handed, steer the car down our drive and park it (while sitting on the lap of someone working the pedals) and make his own breakfast (toast and juice) before he could reliably wipe his own bottom!

[TigerFeet]

Kewc I did note that your ds is remarkably athletic when we met up in August I must remind myself not to accept any food from him if/when we meet up again

DD is good at handwashing I have to say - borne by necessity [ick]

[Kewcumber]

Oh DS very conscientious about hand washing tiger - the waving of a smelly finger is a new development since the summer... All good life skills I suppose.

Nice to know he's.s ahead of his peers with something.