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Behaviour/development

At what age would you expect a child to wipe their own bottom? Should nursery help with this?

85 replies

blueskythinker · 04/10/2008 23:36

My DD 3.4 has just started nursery school. She would be one of the youngest in the class, having an early June birthday.

She is very competent at using the toilet, apart from wiping her bottom. At home, she just gives me a shout, and I wipe it for her. I have tried to encourage her to do it herself, but she isn't interested.

I noticed last week after coming home from nursery, that her bottom hadn't been wiped after a poo. I asked her do the teachers help her to wipe her bottom and she said no.

Before I discuss it with the teacher, I wanted to gauge what 'normal' was. Are all other children this age wiping their own bottom's successfully? Would you expect teachers / TAs in nursery school to help children with this?

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HLF · 22/06/2023 10:20

That’s a really mean message I don’t think it sounds like you’re cut out to be a nanny

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mytetherisending · 07/10/2008 21:48

On a serious note though, girls should always wipe backwards from behind to prevent urinary tract infections. Boys can go between their legs so in theory would be able to do it sooner.
The analogy is me being fat during pregnancy. I couldn't get my arms round the back to wipe easily. Toddlers tend to have more chub around their middles/bums which gets in the way. Probably a skinnier toddler would find it easier.

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mytetherisending · 07/10/2008 21:44

PMSL at seona!

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blueskythinker · 07/10/2008 20:24

Well I asked the teacher today what other children were doing in terms of bottom wiping, and she laughed and said that most of them needed help. Some try themselves, and then the staff check afterwards.

She said it was no problem at all for them to help my DD.

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Smithagain · 06/10/2008 14:23

LOL Seona!

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Seona1973 · 06/10/2008 13:58

Is this what they all need??!!

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Twiglett · 06/10/2008 13:53

LOL

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singersgirl · 06/10/2008 13:38

Have you personally measured the arms of every 3 year old? How do you know it's bollocks? It might be, but how do YOU know?

There are people on here saying that they have checked with their children and their children can't reach round, but only through. Why do you think they are lying?

I could say with equal validity (ie my opinion) that it's bollocks that some children can't ride a bike at 3 - it's just up to the parents whether they allow them to get away with it or not.

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Twiglett · 06/10/2008 13:34

again ROFL at too short arms .. it's BOLLOCKS however you cut it

but as I also said it's your decision as a parent whether to allow it or not

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Seona1973 · 06/10/2008 12:37

I only started making dd do it herself just before she started school (so at about 4 1/2). Before that it was easier to do it myself plus she had a fear of the poo getting on her hands. Now she has a go with toilet roll and finishes off with a toilet wipe (like kandoo but cheaper!!). She still calls me in to check her bum is clean and most of the time it is. It took a stand off to actually get her to wipe herself the first few times and I had to leave her sitting on the toilet until she finally decided to have a go.

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Kewcumber · 06/10/2008 11:23

Oh DS very conscientious about hand washing tiger - the waving of a smelly finger is a new development since the summer... All good life skills I suppose.

Nice to know he's.s ahead of his peers with something.

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TigerFeet · 06/10/2008 11:15

Kewc I did note that your ds is remarkably athletic when we met up in August I must remind myself not to accept any food from him if/when we meet up again

DD is good at handwashing I have to say - borne by necessity [ick]

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seeker · 06/10/2008 11:12

I have decided not to post on this thread as I would be too embarrassed to admit that my ds could sail a dinghy single handed, steer the car down our drive and park it (while sitting on the lap of someone working the pedals) and make his own breakfast (toast and juice) before he could reliably wipe his own bottom!

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Smithagain · 06/10/2008 11:11

That's it, Red!

I shall conduct further experiments this afternoon, to see if we can hit upon an effective technique for short-armed-three-year-olds-in-small-rooms!

To be honest, I'd be very happy to get her trained, instead of bellowing at me for help when I'm trying to get on with something. But she does seem to be physically disadvanted.

And now I really must do some work ...

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RedOnHerBeheadedHead · 06/10/2008 11:07

surely your toilet has room for the door to be opened into it? I am picturing it the same size as my nans - toilet in one "room" and bath and sink in the next "room". The toilet is about the size of a public toilet cubicle.

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Kewcumber · 06/10/2008 11:05

to be fair when I say random people - I do mean freinds and family at home - not roaming around M&S cafe...

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Kewcumber · 06/10/2008 11:04

oh its an ill wind, hours of amusement to be had at very little cost, Red!

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Smithagain · 06/10/2008 11:03

"Surely, in that case, adults would not be able to squeeze in there to assist with bum-wiping?"

Ah - but I'm really tall, so I can reach over her head. DH on the other hand is really small, so she has to get down and turn round so he can help. (Are you getting a good picture here !)

Seriously, it's that small. One day we'll extend the house. One day. One day. .......

LOL at Kewcumbers hysterical bottom/finger waving boy. I shall count myself blessed to have an incompetent 3yo!

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RedOnHerBeheadedHead · 06/10/2008 11:03

kewcumber! LOL - poor you!

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RedOnHerBeheadedHead · 06/10/2008 11:02

Tigerfeet, they are flexible until you try to get them to do something they don't want to do! So it's probably a matter of not wanting to do it, more than can't do it.

Also, if they get poo on their hands (which happens) then its important to get them into the handwashing habit.

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Kewcumber · 06/10/2008 11:00

so DS does have freakishly long arms tehn.

On he downside he just loves to stick his finger in his bottom and wave it at random people laughing hysterically. So those whose children are challenged in the bottom wiping dapartment should count themselves lucky.

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TigerFeet · 06/10/2008 10:58

Thanks Smithagain, not the first time I've been wrong

I knew about the heads being out of proportion but not the limbs.

Upwind - toddlers are remarkably flexible until you try and get them into a buggy when they don't want to go in and then they are stiffer than an iron bar.

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Upwind · 06/10/2008 10:58

Smithagain - I am having some difficulty in imagining a loo so small that a toddler can't bend! Surely, in that case, adults would not be able to squeeze in there to assist with bum-wiping?

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Smithagain · 06/10/2008 10:54

Maybe that's the problem Upwind. Our loo is in an incredibly small room. I mean so small that we cannot fit a sink in there and have to wash hands in the bathroom next door.

So gymnastic, leaning-over-sideways bum-wiping is not an option. You have to be able to lean back!

Can't believe I'm having this conversation LOL!

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RedOnHerBeheadedHead · 06/10/2008 10:53

DS1 is 3.10yrs now - he was only just 3 when he started nursery in January (december birthday) and I made sure that he could wipe his own bottom by then - though even now he misses bits! His nursery like them to be very independent, and TBH i prefer it this way. We actually had a chat about inappropriate touch last night - triggered by a few things - one thread on here somewhere and the fact that DS's great grandmother secretly smokes and DS caught her and she asked him to keep it a secret (i don't believe children should be asked to keep secrets because if something serious happened and they were asked to keep it secret it would be awful. So i think i prefer it that only he is to touch his bottom or as we spoke about last night, mummy or daddy when it needs to be cleaned.

Children can surely reach their bottoms cant they? It's just a matter of them arching their backs to do it.

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