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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Unhealthy to wait until DD is 3 to put her in nursery??

28 replies

pookie81 · 25/09/2008 14:40

My DD has just turned 2 and I am getting worried that she isn't around other children her own age all that much due to location of where we live. I take her to a big park everyday but I want to wait until she is 3 when playschool is funded because we can't really afford to put her in any sooner. Is this going to damage her development??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 25/09/2008 14:41

If you have no choice, please don't beat yourself up about it.

Our sons didn't go to playschool until they were 3 and there has been no problems at all. Our DD went at 2 1/2 and it was not the right thing for her.

seeker · 25/09/2008 14:42

No - she'll be fine. She doesn't have to go to nursery at all!

Are there no toddler groups anywhere near you, though? It's nice to chat to other mums!

Twiglett · 25/09/2008 14:43

without meaning to sound harsh .. are you mad?

why would it be detrimental to her development .. she doesn't need to be in playschool .. maybe you could find a toddler group to take her to

mine didn't go till they were 3.5

bobsyouruncle · 25/09/2008 14:45

no toddler groups near you? It might be worth travelling further afield once a week to take her to one. My dd loved her toddler group and I think it helped prepare her for nursery when she was 3 - sharing toys, sitting at the table for snack, group activities etc. Having said that, ds hated toddlers and we never went back after a couple of traumatic sessions Hasn't damaged his development as far as I can tell

MuffinMclay · 25/09/2008 14:48

I'm no expert but I wouldn't have thought so at all. When I was growing up children didn't go to nursery until they were 3 or 4, if at all.

I get sick of people telling me that ds1 (2.5) should be in nursery or at a childminders some of the week (feels like a lot of people have said that recently). Whilst it would undoubtedly make my life easier if he went I don't think he needs it yet. He'll go to preschool at 2.9 (probably - dh isn't keen) but another 3 months would be neither here nor there.

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 25/09/2008 14:51

not at all.

my DS goes to the P&T groups, and also to the creche for 4 hours a week.

he's ready for the creche bit thou.

I think it also depends on the child, but I think they should go when they're ready - if they are at 2.9 m then let them go if not keep them off till 3, or 4 even and go into reception in school.

HonoriaGlossop · 25/09/2008 15:02

of course it won't damage her development!

I didn't send my DS till 3.

I find it crazy that people now say stuff like Muffin has quoted - that they think a 2.5 year old 'ought' to be in nursery etc. Good god! A pre-schooler needs a secure loving home - they don't NEED nursery. Of course some love going and gain from it. But it's not a developmental need!

Of course they need contact with other people but you give that just from taking your child to the shops/library/swimming/park. It's enough.

Yanda · 25/09/2008 16:52

Not unhealthy at all! You don't need to put her in nursery, she is still learning so much from you and she will have so much time to develop social stuff once she is ready for preschool/school/whatever you decide!

girlsallaround · 25/09/2008 17:04

definately her development will not suffer as a result! being home with mum has benefits. take her to meet other friends/children as much as you can but don't be hard on yourself if you opt out when you are tired/when the wheather is gloomy etc.

Seona1973 · 25/09/2008 19:49

my dd never went till she got her funded place at 3 and ds wont go till then either probably. She did go to a mini-movers class and a toddler group so she was meeting other children.

Wade · 25/09/2008 19:53

Why would you think that? Has some busybody told you this? It is very fashionable to leave pre-schoolers in nursery but certainly not essential and when I was a bb (30 years ago) it was certainly not the norm. Having said that my lo loves watching the other bb's and toddler at the local church play group. Do you have something similar?

Smee · 25/09/2008 21:36

My son started at 2.5 and I wish I'd waited, as as soon as he started I realised he wasn't ready. The wise woman who runs his nursery reckons children start to play together properly (ie make friends, etc) somewhere inbetween 2 and 3 - before that they just play alongside one another. She though my son was just at the 3 end of the scale and guess what, she was right. At three he suddenly clicked and now at 4, he loves it. I know they're all different, but honestly don't stress. Three is a great age to start.

sleepycat · 25/09/2008 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cadelaide · 25/09/2008 21:40

DS3 won't be going to nursery until he's 3, and then just for one morning per week.

Go on, buck the trend.

Whoopee · 26/09/2008 00:08

Gosh, no. Mine has her second birthday in a few weeks and is about to start nursery, and when I mention it to people they say, "Already?"

TeenyTinyTorya · 26/09/2008 00:27

I won't be sending ds to nursery at all. Don't worry about it, I'm sure your dd will be fine.

Desiderata · 26/09/2008 00:30

Of course there'll be no damage to her development. Quite the opposite, probably.

I waited until ds got his state 12.5hrs funding too. He doesn't love it, you know. He can take or leave nursery .. but he's a confident chap who's happy in his own company and in the long run, that's more important than any misconception that very young children need lots of stimulus.

They don't.

BetteNoire · 26/09/2008 00:30

unhealthy? of course not!

nappyaddict · 26/09/2008 01:41

are you entitled to WTC? if so you can get about 80% of playschool costs paid for.

AlexanderPandasmum · 26/09/2008 01:53

Not at all! I think the research says that there's no real developmental benefit to being in childcare until your child is 3. I didn't go to nursery and started school on the day I turned 5 and I am fine (I think). My DS is in day nursery and has been since he was 10 months but I don't for one minute think it is beneficial to him developmentally compared to the 1-1 he gets at home. It drives me mad when people attribute his developmental jumps (e.g. just learning to walk, knowledge of colours, shapes, body parts and animal noises etc) to the nursery without knowing what they're talking about! When did he learn all of this stuff? In the summer holidays when he wasn't even IN nursery but at home with me!

But that's another rant in itself!

Enjoy your child if you can. Wish I could.

AlexanderPandasmum · 26/09/2008 01:57

My ds is part time, by the way. And even that is too much for me but I am lucky as we're struggling to make ends meet as it is.

LeonieD · 26/09/2008 05:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

VictorVictoria · 26/09/2008 10:35

I wish I hadnt send my DS until he was 3. Stupridly (and in retrospect I cant believe I did this) he started 3 mornings a week at the age of just 2.5 the VERY week I gave birth to his little sister. He wasnt ready anyway, without the added burden of a new baby sister. He is real home lover. We even had try to try to force him to potty train before 2.5 as the nursery sort of insisted they were trained. As a result of all this, he is incredibly jealous of his sister, his potty training reversed almost 100% and only now is he happy, at 3.3.

Must try to crack the potty training again now.................

MadBadandDangeroustoKnow · 26/09/2008 10:40

My daughter started pre-school at 3, as I also wanted to wait until her place was funded. As a baby she had been to nursery for two days a week for some odd snatches when I had temporary contracts, but pres-school was her first real experience of being away from me. She was absolutely fine there and I certainly don't think the wait damaged her - probably the opposite as she was ready to go and looking forward to it.

We did, though, go to a lot of toddler groups and story-telling at the library etc before pre-school. I'd echo what's been said about trying to find some groups within easy travelling distance - I'd have gone (even more) mad without some regular opportunities to chat to other adults.

nappyaddict · 26/09/2008 12:22

ds' preschool isn't funded and it's only 3 mornings a week so i was happy with him going from 2 as it wasn't too often and i was going to have to pay whatever age he went. i said i would give it a month and if he wasn't settled i would try him again after xmas. by the friday of the 2nd week he was absolutely fine so i'm glad i tried him and it would have been a shame to wait another year when he already enjoys it. if he hadn't been enjoying it there would have been no hesitation to wait though.

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