2 year old holding in his number 2s - any advice?

[sasamax]

My 2.5 year old has decided that he has a phobia about doing a poo. He has been bothered on and off by constipation since weaning but has plenty of fibre in his diet and lots of water, fruit etc. The more he holds it in, the harder it gets to pass and then it comes out in tiny amounts and his poor bottom gets very red and inflamed. I have tried everything I can think of - potty training (at a standstill due to this), rewards, encouragement, support etc.
Nothing I do seems to persuade him to let them out. He stands with his buttocks clenched screaming when his body is trying to force it out.
The doc prescribes lactulose and senna and tells me that he will grow out of it, but the poor thing is in terrible pain and distress and I really want to help him. It's clearly a psychological issue rather than a physiological one so how do I tackle it?

My DS1 had the same thing. It started when DS2 was born so was obviously psychological. We tried EVERYTHING!! GP prescribed Senna, lactulose, suppositries (don't go there) and nothing worked. He would hold it in no matter what. We were halfway through potty training when it started and he really wanted to wear pants, but this meant lots of pooey pants where some of it came out that he couldn't hold in. For a while we got by with him asking for a nappy and letting a bit out at a time. Not ideal but at least got rid of some. Anyway, eventually we just gave up. It was so so stressful and upsetting but one day, for no reason I can think of, he did a poo on the loo. And that was it! He was so pleased with himself and felt so much better, he's never gone back.

All I can say is to make sure his diet's good and use lactulose if you think he needs it, so that if he does go, it doesn't hurt or scare him. Other than that, just wait it out, don't make a big deal of it and keep bigging up poo!

You have my sympathies. It was the most stressful thing any of us have ever been through. And that's saying something! Good luck. x

pmsl @ poo PR (if pmsl isn't in poor taste)
I've had two dc like this. the eldest is now almost 8yo, and had food allergies therefore a most complicated bowel habit, either constipated or erm, virtual opposite. Anyway, he went through a time at 3yo (with occasional recurrences since) where he just would not "Go". His was a psychological issue too, i think that he thought / knew it was likely to be painful so put off the 'event', not understanding that he was actually making the whole thing worse.
Although he hated being 'dirty' he came up with a solution of his own, which was helping himself to pull-up's (even though he was toilet trained), going somewhere in a corner and doing it. Whilst this wasn't ideal, it did get him through and we were then able to make the 'somewhere' to be the bathroom "Where Pongs Belong", which he found hilarious, then he could be encouraged on to the loo. He still has some little oddities such as putting paper in the loo because he doesn't like the water splashing, and also sits in a mad side-saddle fashion (thus disgusting skidders on loo bowl) but after you've been through the holding-on episode, anything is a welcome development isn't it

DD (2.8yo) has done the same, but is willing to do hers in the potty. Again it's because she is often constipated despite a good diet and apple and orange juice, apricots as snack etc etc, thus pooing hurts her bottom. Also intrigued with the idea of poo going 'down the pipe', looking at the Soil-pipe outside the house from the bathroom into the ground, and as Storm says, the notion of it traveling through the sewers and into the sea... What is it with toddlers????

Great - some new ideas to go on - will put them into action - fingers crossed and thanks x

Dd1 and dd2 have both suffered with this and I found it really upsetting esp 2nd time round as I felt people were judging me.

In the end we brought her a padded loo seat so she could be comfortable and she liked to be on her own and shout us once she'd done it. One day when we were on holiday after 8 long months she started asking for a pooh on the toilet and we haven't looked back.

He will do it when he's ready just keep going with medicine and good diet and exercise (doing squats and running around helps move it along)

I carried on with potty training and just used pull ups if she was likely to leak or we were going to soft play.

Movicol also helped clear the back log but it was messy so maybe worth doing that then potty training once cleared.

Can I buy Movicol over the counter? Is it better than senna?

This
book about poos is very good

Thanks witch - I have now ordered it! x