Ds ( nearly 11 ) can't sleep what can I do??

[Blossomhill]

Poor ds has got into a pattern of not being able to sleep until midnight and later.
We have been on holiday so admittedly the pattern was out for 2 weeks but the poor thing is so tired and cannot get out of bed in the morning.
Last night he was getting himself in a state because he so badly wants to but can't sleep.
I have tried the baths, reading together,lavender under the pillow, hot chocolate etc etc
I have asked if he is anxious as he often says he has a stomach/head ache but he said he is anxious because he can't sleep so viscious circle really.
What can I do? thanks

Would it help if you sat with him while he dropped off? Would he want you to? Maybe his anxieties would be lessened with you there so that he can get into a different pattern?

Start bedtime earlier?

May even be worth approaching your GP to see if they'll prescribe something short term that will help him sleep, again just to break the pattern and instil a better one?

1. Wear him out with exercise after school.
2. Talk to him about school, friendships etc to give him the opportunity to unload if there is anything bothering him.
3. Re-establish regular bedtime routine.
4. Let him listen to audiobooks in bed with the light off, so that he is resting his body and eyes and there is something to take his mind off the fact that he's not sleeping.

Can he watch a dvd/video to drop off, or audio tapes? With a low light on, try and take the pressure OFF.
I run mine ragged at the weekend, ending with a late swimming lesson on Sunday and they go to sleep before 10 usually, which creeps back up to before 11 as the week goes on.

No advice I'm afraid, but lots of sympathy for your DS. I sometimes suffer like this and I remember crying most nights because I couldn't sleep and was worried about getting up for school the next day. My parents unfortunately delt with it by shouting up the stairs and telling me to go to sleep.

Keep supporting your DS and maybe talk to your GP. I don't know if they do any sleep medicines for little ones, but I now take a couple of Syndol to relax me for a couple of nights to break the pattern, but not sure this is appropriate for an 11 year old.

Meant to say I was 11 when this first started happened - and when my parents just told me to go to sleep.

Take him to a shrink.

My DSS1 had this a few years ago. Shrink solved it in 6 sessions.

Sleep clinics always advise getting up at 5am no matter how much sleep and getting on with the day. The idea is that after a few mornings of very early starts the body compensates by wanting to go to sleep earlier.

Also if sleep isn't happening, you get up rather than lying in bed getting all would up about not sleeping. Advice is to get up, have a milky drink and a banana, read a book or watch tv for 15 mins then back to bed again.

I used to be like that until I was in my twenties and then one day I had a conversation with my mother that changed my perception forever. She told me that when she can't sleep she lies there and thinks to herself 'oh, aren't I lucky, I'm in this warm comfortable bed and I don't have to get up for hours, I can just lie here andthink about whatever I like.'

After that I stopped worrying about whether I was going to drop off or not. I found that if I wasn't worrying I could get just as rested by lying awake in bed relaxing as I would by sleeping.
(Though then of course I also found that if I wasn't worrying I tended to drop off anyway).

Tell your son this, tell him that if he is just lying in bed thinking about nice things that counts; he doesn't have to worry about being asleep. (reading in bed or playing with things on the other hand doesn't count).

this might help
it says the same sort of thing in the millpond sleep clinic book, and in richard ferbers book

my ds had sleep problems,stomach aches and migraines due to stress he started sleeping better when i sat in his room.i did this for a few nights so he would get some sleep.he was averaging 4-5 hrs a night.we changed schools this january and his sleeping problems got better.hope he starts sleeping better soon my ds was 11 in august

I go through periods of having huge sleep problems and I find that:

(a) I have to get up out of bed, even for a few mins to go to the loo or get a drink etc.

(b) When I get back into bed I either read or listen to a book until I feel drowsy.

(c) When I turn the light off, if my brain is not tired enough, I think of lists - all girls names beginning with A, then B etc.

The main thing for me is not to dwell on the fact that I can't sleep (or anything else that is worrying me).