4 Y/o hysterical over party dress-did I do the right thing?

[Pawslikepaddington]

Dd got a party dress from Monsoon (we get one every year) as her poshy party dress. There was a fault with it so we took it back and chose another style as they had none in her size. There were two she really liked, but I only liked one of them, so made an executive decision and bought the one we both like. She has a party today and is going nuts because I bought that dress instead of the "ball dress' that she liked more, but she liked both in the shop. I refuse to pander and take it back and swap it, but how do I calm her down? Nothing is working!!! She is one of those children that remembers EVERYTHING, so will use this as ammo for everything-argh!

Tell her it's her dress, end of. She can go to the parties in her jamas if she'd prefer. I bet she chooses the dress.

You are right not to pander to it.

Um, after some genuine cuddles and consoling... 'sorry dd, but this is the dress we bought. Do you want to come and do some with me?' then walk away and get on with something else.

There isn't anything you can do, is there?

Get used to it, she'll be throwing tantrums over her choice of clothes for years. If she insists, she can go to the party in her next favourite outfit and the dress can go back to the shop. No more posh frocks, end of.

I've told her she has to go in jeans and a t-shirt! All the other girls in our group get no choice in their clothes-they get bought and that's the end of it, so think I may employ that from now on-I was always dressed in hand me downs so let dd always have a say in what she wanted, but now can see why mum did it!!

I agree - don't make a battle of it, say she can wear normal clothes, or the party dress that she said she liked in the shop. As she sounds quite girly (?) am sure she will choose the dress.

I think you might just have to leave her to calm down and then explain that she liked this one in the shop and if in future if she prefers another one she has to say straight away.

Good luck!

I've told her it's fine if she doesn't like it, but we will have to give it to best friend and also super girly girl but with less party dress money than us. She is still refusing to wear it but is sulking in her bedroom instead of under my feet . Have also hung it in strategic place hoping she may warm to it! Thank you all-this for another fourteen years-oh no!

how old is hse?

Oh, and that if she doesn't like it then sadly there are no more party dresses this year, as mummy can't afford another one, but she can choose one she likes for after Christmas (that's the only time frame she understands!)

oops sorry seen it now
bless her cotton socks

Dress or something else she already owns. no swapping, no whining, or no party. The MOther Has Spoken

I'm with colditz

yup, agree with colditz too.

He he, she put it on-she saw the party shoes and caved! And decided she liked it more than the other one anyway-girls!

Oh crikey - my dd (3) is just like this. Hard work convincing her that a party frock is not a good choice when her CM is taking her down to the allotment to plant carrots...

Acinonyx-hello! How are you? I'm so sorry I haven't emailed you in so long-have been curled up in a cave of misery for 6 months, but am feeling much better and ready to start a new term! Have changed my screenname, I think I was posting something controversial and it just stuck, but I am a fellow student mum at your institution (not that you are really a student!!) and we came for Sunday dinner at yours a long time ago! How is your dd? I can't believe she is three now! We still have your clothes at home because I forgot to send you home with them from dd's party! Was that really the last time I saw you? I am so sorry, I don't know where the past six months have gone-they are completely black! I am so sorry I haven't kept up with everyone, I've been pleased with myself if I have managed to get out of bed and hoover the house in one day! . Please let me know how you are doing, I hope you are not too mad at my silence, it was the only way I coped!

Oh THERE you are! I ran in to a friend of yours at a soft play the other day (meant to email her but of course immediately forgot her addy) and she told me you were coming back this term. I'm relieved actually, that you took some time out - I couldn't see how you could possibly manage otherwise.

I'm not at all mad - I was only worried in case I could be helping you some how.I've done the dark hole thing quite a few times in my time.

We've moved out of town and I am working at home too much and getting terrible cabin fever. Are you on the same hermes addy? We should get together.

I am indeed on the [email protected]. We're moving house next weekend (only found out on fri-it always amazes me the speed in which uni stuff works sometimes!), but will be free from then on. It willl be so good to see them again xx