My 3.5 month old has taken to the dummy but now wakes during the night between feeds crying for it. Will he get used to keeping it in?

[beccam]

My three and a half month old has recently taken to using the dummy to get to sleep however I think it is responsible for him now waking between feeds during the night. We took it away two days ago and he can go to sleep (in time) but he seems to really need the oral fixation. Will he get used to having the dummy and start sleeping to feeds again or are we right to take it away? If we are not going to give it to him what else can we use to help his oral fixation?

when he gets a bit more coordinated he will be able to find the dummy and put it back in himself. this is what my dd does. she started doing it at about 6 months.

Do you think it may mean that we are going to have to put it back in for the next month or so? It was about 20 times a few nights ago. He just seems to get so distressed as he needs something in his mouth but I just feel it has ruined his sleep. He occasionally it seems like he might get his thumb but he can't seem to do that when he is distressed and over tired.

I have no answers I'm afraid. I do know what you're going through though. My ds has a dummy. He would wake through the night because he lost it. This was around 6 months old. To make life easier we had a few clean dummies next to the cot to give him through the night (they used to fall through the cot rails. I would just be on auto pilot and pop a dummy in his mouth whilst I'm half asleep. Once he was rolling and moving around he started to find the dummy himself (at times). My ds is nearly 3 and sometimes loses the dummy as he can't find it in the dark. In the early days, it was a nightmare for a time but he needed the comfort of the dummy and we had to perservere with it. If I have a second child I hope he/she will not want a dummy!

If you have a look on the sleep forum (not sure how to link the post) but we have been discussing how good it has been ditching the dummy.
DD was 16 wks (now 19) when we ditched the dummy. it took 3 days. She started sleeping through (from her dreamfeed) 4 days later. She sucks her fingers instead.

We took it away as it was disturbing her sleep. She kept waking looking for it.

I think all babies with dummies go through this phase and there is nothing you can do about it - they can usually find a dummy and put it back in at about 5-6 months.

So, you have 2 choices - either bear with it for the next few weeks and then it will get better, or get rid now.

I suppose it depends on whether the baby is in with you - DS was in a crib at the bottom of the bed so I literally used to crawl to the bottom of the bed, put the dummy back in and we all went back to sleep - but I can see it would be harder if your baby was in another room.

Thank you all for your advice and experience. So it seems that the behaviour of my DS is quite normal then. My partner and I decided a few days ago to try a week without and see how the nights went. If things didn't improve we would give in to the dummy again. This is night 3. But we almost relented during the day today as he seems to be getting so distressed not being able to satisfy his fixation. He can just hold a teething ring but it doesn't seem to satisfy him and nor do his fingers. We felt really mean not giving in. I have tried to get him to suck on a muslin, comforter and his fingers but nothing seems to work. I guess as the weeks go on he will find other toys and objects to satisfy the fixation.

Although we had 3 not very nice days (although better than anticipated) where dd cried (until then, had never really had to cry as she would either be picked up or given dummy), I felt that it would be worse to give her back the dummy as she would have gone through all that crying for nothing.

I suppose we were very lucky as she had already been sucking her hands/fingers a bit and she took to her fingers really quickly. Have you got something cuddly he can have next to his face when he goes to sleep? (obviously be careful it won't go over his face). That might work for him. I am sure he will find something he likes to comfort him.

Good luck and I hope it works out - I do know several people who just stuck with the dummy (they didnt mind getting up in the night several times and replacing) and when their dc was old enough, they scattered loads of dummies in the cot so their dc could easily find one.

Thanks pudding25, I have been trying with several things in the crib to comfort him but so far no good. Another bad night last night (without the dummy) but today he did seem more settled sucking on his fingers than he did yesterday. A relief! He doesn't seem to be able to find or know to suck on his fingers at night, hopefully it will just be a matter of time.

I do think that he will be better without the dummy, as it disturbs his sleep, but it is awful at the moment watching him trying to satisfy the need to put something in his mouth. His thumb is getting dangerously close, not good for the mouth but good for the self soothing.

Thanks again