1 year old does not play by himself at all....any tips

[Sophie2]

I have started to observe via baby groups and my NCt group that DS is incredibly unindependant! I literally walk away and he moans/ crys/ screams and lunges himself in my direction. I am expecting no. 2 in 6 months and feel I may need to take steps to get him more independant. He does not crawl but is starting to toddle, so perhaps this adds to his lack of independance. I am a really calm person which helps but I am starting to feel a little drained having to bring him into the loo and never being able to make tea/ get the post/ put washing on, unless I want a wailing baby. Any advice welcome.

How have you raised him so far? Whats his routine?

My dd went through this stage, it was soooo frustrating!

Try having toys in every room so that if you are in the kitchen, ds has something to play with (even if it is the tupperware!) and will be kept occupied so you can (hopefully) potter in and out.

Also keep a loud running conversation with him when you are in the room and keep it going as you leave. This will reassure ds that you are still around.

Never leave him for more than just a few seconds initially, so that he will grow to understand that if you go, you will always come back... perhaps have a game of "peepo" where you keep popping your head round the door.

Hopefully once he starts to toddle with more confidence, he will be able to play with greater independence.

Routine wise;

wakes 7 - 7.30
7.45 Breakfast
8.30 - 9.30 get dressed, potter upstairs together
10.30-11.15 sleep
12.30 lunch
2.30-4 sleep
5.45 tea
6.15-7 play
7 - bath
7.20 - milk
7.45 bed

we are out ebery day between 11.30-.2.30 and often also in the am before am sleep. is this detailed enough? Any time we are at home I rotate between play and cbeebies...perhaps I have pamperede him with attention too much?

Have you tried things that are not toys. I found that clothes pegs and a bowl were good or hitting saucepans with a wooden spoon-things like that.

My DS, now 16 months, was very much like this until fairly recently (and still doesn't like being on his own for more than a couple of minutes), so I do sympathise! I did find DS was better once he could do puzzles etc, but especially once he started getting interested in books - now he can get stuck into a book for a good few minutes on his own. Maybe lift the flap or textured ones would be good at your DS's age to occupy him.

I don't think it's because you've over-pampered him - some babies are just less self-sufficient than others!

My 7 year-old does not play with himself at all. I think some children are just like that. I have tried EVERYTHING. He just is not good at entertaining himself. Nightmare.

play by himself. yes.

DD was like that at 12 months, she's now 22 months and does play on her own but I think it's age more than anything we did. She still brings me every sodding toy to show me as part of her games. I think really it's normal and actually you should be flattered that he cares so much about you that he wants you to join in

BTW I read your subject as '1 year old does not play with himself at all'

Lol fairymum! Wonder if you will still be saying that when he's 14!

Yup agree with FairyMum, I just think some DC are like that! DD1 NEVER played on her own and at nearly 6, still won't. She may go and colour for a bit but she craves company. DD2 however is very happy to crawl around the playroom playing on her own.

ds will only play for short periods when at home.... he always needs some interaction even if it is just encouraging words, was a nightmare as a baby,would never be put down.... think that is just the way some kids are. Maybe it will just naturally get better when baby no 2 arrives as he realises he does not have the choice.

Hate to depress you but dd (3) has always been like this. At nct get-togethers I was always the one who had to take my dc to the loo with me. I have tried everything - and oh - I know it really does get wearing.

The only success I have had is having a set time when she plays alone - when I'm showering etc. The trick is absolute consistency of routine. We have done it by the book every morning. She never plays alone any other time - you can bet I take my time getting ready!