Help with my 2yr old grandson

[Edge6340]

My 2 year old grandson is a nightmare. He throws,kicks, hits and screams for my daughter and son in law all the time. He can't play with other children without screaming. He screams and stands on this toes until they come and get him. They hold him to cook, clean, at dinnertime, their bathroom breaks and just about the whole day. When he is taken out he throws things and quickly clears a table of everything on it. My daughter and son in law feel this is normal behavior and do nothing. They say he is just being a boy. I have tried to let her know how everyone is saying things and she calls me a liar. It has seperated our family. We just had a family vacation and everyone feels they wasted their money and it was the worst vacation. My daughter feels we made them feel uncomfortable. She doesn't care that her son ruined our vacation by her son constant bad behavior. just that we made them feel uncomfortable. Also my grandson's favorite word is snack. My daughter carries a bag of snacks around and for four days her kids ate from this bag. We cooked 3 meals a day but her kids rarely ate anything. My 4yr old granddaughter has gained ten pounds in six months. Please help, I don't know what to do.

"My daughter and son in law feel this is normal behavior and do nothing."

I think this is the cause of the problem. If he's allowed to behave this way at home then he will behave the same way elsewhere. Your daughter shouldn't be calling you a liar, that's just not on! It must be really frustrating for you but you but it doesn't sound as if your daughter is willing to listen to you. I honstly don't know what to say, I'm so sorry, it's a terrible situation for you. Your daughter's making her bed so to speak. I think that you've done all you can and you need to let her get on with things. From the outside it is so easy to watch the mistakes that your loved ones are making but if they refuse to listen to your advice then there's little you can do. Your grandaughters weight problems should be picked up by her health visitor. I would suggest that you contact the health visitor but I don't think this would help you, it may make things worse. All I can suggest is that you do nothing and hope your daughter realises that the problems she is having are because of the way she is pareting her children.

God sounds awful, what a dreadful holiday for you all. Thing is that it's really anoying when grandparents butt in about how you're bringing your kids up, even though to me it sounds like you're right! So my advice is stop saying anything it will just bring you to blows, don't go on holiday again and limit how much time you spend with them. Let the rest of the family say something - if it's that bad maybe then she'll listen. Until then a grandparent's job is to sit back, enjoy what you can and thank god the kids aren't yours. If you have a big row, you may not see them very often if at all ...

Agree with AvenaLife and Bumbling. Unfortunately it does sound like your only course of action is nothing or your daughter is going to fall out with you.

It is an awful situation for you to be in.

Thanks for your quick responses. One thing I forgot to mention is that until this vacation I babysat my grandkids every week for the last 4 1/2 years. This is why I tried working with my daughter on this situation. Since I don't like the way they treat me, I have told her that I can no longer babysit.

I don't think you do anything

he's 2 .. he will not be like this in a couple of years I'm sure

just step back a bit .. unless you are being asked to care for him in which case say "Sorry I love him but at the moment he's just too much for us to manage"

DO not go on holiday with them ... and certainly don't tell her that other people are calling her 2 eyar old names .. he's surely nothing more than a toddler and having tantrums and behavioural difficulties

HOw did they deal with their DD (I assume she's older) .. was it any different?