Sleep Issues/Seperation anxiety in a 21 month old

[LindyLady]

Hi, I'm in bits today. I was up nearly all night long with ds2 attemping controlled crying. It was hideous. He used to be such a good sleeper and now the only way to get him to sleep is to stand next to him and not move until he drops off. That wouldn't be such a problem at bedtime, but he then wakes 4/5/6 times a night and you have to go through the same routine over again. Whats worse still is that he's been getting up at 5.30am on the dot since he dropped his last night time feed (only about 3/4 months ago).

I feel like I've really let him down because we keep changing our plan of attack, we started letting him in our bed at 4.30am so we could get a lie in until 6.30, I think thats whats caused it. He's waking earlier and earlier and wanting that comfort.

Now he clings to me and screams and cries and won't let me put him in the cot.

Last night was SO awful, I thought it would take up to an hour at the most to get him off to sleep but it continued until beyond middnight, and then intermittent waking until up time at 5.30

I want to go back to waiting until he drops off to sleep but I'm so worried I'll be doing it forever and all through the night!! Also now we've done one night of controlled crying - should I really percevere with that. I'm aware we've been giving really mixed messages.

Any advice or help or support would be so greatfully recieved. I'm crying just typing this, and dreading tonight.

Thank you.

My heart goes out to you.
We had similar situation when my ds was exactly same age.
Its good you know that mixed messages will only confuse him but when you're tired- you'll do anything to get them to sleep tbh.
In the end with my ds we did the controlled crying- it did work but it is so tough.
Whatever you choose to do be consistent and do it when you feeling physically and mentally able.
If it helps it took two nights to sort the problem and my ds is a fantastic sleeper now aged nearly 6.
Have faith you CAN sort it and it will get better.

Thank you, last night was a lot better.

I just went with standing next to him until he was asleep. he went down well at bedtime, woke at 11.30pm, then 3.45 and 4.30am then slept till 7.10 which is amazing - but he was so exhausted from the night before I'm not surprised!

We'll continue like this for a week or two and then gradually start trying to move further away from the bed. It's the long slow route I think but far less traumatising than controlled crying. I do think he's been suffering from seperation anxiety rather than just playing up.

Just coming on here and talking it through has given me so much more clarity. Thank you for your reply.

N x