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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Can an 8 month old be naughty?

45 replies

pamelat · 02/09/2008 21:16

My DD is 8 months old next week.

I jokingly call her feisty as she is pretty high maintenance. She loves attention but as soon as I stopped playing/singing etc she tends to scream.

She is much "naughtier" around me than anyone else.

Today my dad was round and she was ok with him in the lounge, I walked past and she saw me and started whining. She just wants me to constantly carry her around, but is happier with other people?

Also today (as in most days) if we are out in public she tends to want to get out of the buggy to be carried (screams and puts arms up), surely she is too young to be naughty?

I tend to give in to her, I dont want to create a monster???

I was told by HV that she won't understand "no" until about 11/12 months old.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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EyeballsintheSky · 02/09/2008 21:27

Sorry, have no advice but wondered if you had picked up my nearly 8mo dd by mistake?!

AMumInScotland · 02/09/2008 21:28

It's not naughty to do those things - she wants something, and her only clear way of expressing that is to scream or whine or put her arms up. She's not doing it for any other reason than that.

Being naughty would mean she had to understand that something was wrong about what she was doing, and she won't have any idea what that means yet. You can't spoil her at this age!

MrsMattie · 02/09/2008 21:29

Overmydeadbody · 02/09/2008 21:30

no an 8 month old can't be naughty. She is just communicating with you in the only way she knows how.

Hulababy · 02/09/2008 21:30

I think at 8 months that she s definitely too oung to be naughty. She has no idea of cause and consequence as such yet. And she won;t be able to remember, and link past events with present ones either, so saying no will onyl work as a one off thing, and she'l forget for next time, even if only a few minutes later.

Bumperlicious · 02/09/2008 21:32

She's not naughty, just obviously wants attention.
She doesn't have any other way of communicating with you. Whether or not you give it to her is another thing. She obviously wants you for a reason, but eventually she will have to learn that you can't always pick her up and she can't always get what she wants, but I think 8 months might be too young.

bluejellybean · 02/09/2008 21:35

Sounds like she has a touch of seperation anxiety? NORMAL!

Original poster

pamelat · 02/09/2008 21:38

I wonder what it is that she keeps wanting? It can't just be me, as she must get sick of me

I do worry about her as she is so cross seeming sometimes. My frinds babies seem so calm in comparison, although my DD is much more fun (as long as you are prepared to just play peekaboo - she actually hides and uncovers me now)

I keep putting everything down to teething (she doesn't have any yet) and she is still on Gaviscon for her reflux.

She just seems so frustrated in life? I always thought it would get easier once she could sit up by herself, but the novelty of that seems to have worn off!

I see what you mean about too young to know to be naughty, but I wonder why she feels the need to be so vocal/cross?

Today, holding her, she was cooing and grabbing at me but then got carried away and was basically grabbing me and gently thumping my arms - almost like a hug?

I guess that I am just worry(overly, without reason) that she is unhappy?

OP posts:

pinata · 02/09/2008 21:38

it's not naughty, no, but i don't think 8 months is too young to start and try and influence behaviour

my nearly 9 month DD does the same thing and i try not to give in to her, but it is very hard. i have had some limited success with waiting for her to stop whining, scremaing etc and THEN giving her what she wants

DH is harder than me and has more success, which shows that she can behave better. However, being at home on my own with her makes it harder to be tough on the whinging...

she does understand "no", though, i think they do before 11/12 mo, if it's accompanied by a frown and said in the right tone

WigWamBam · 02/09/2008 21:38

She isn't naughty.

She just cannot communicate with you in any other way than vocally - that's normal.

And I have to say, if you are expecting her to (a) understand and (b) obey "no" at 11 months, you are going to be very disappointed!

Original poster

pamelat · 02/09/2008 21:39

Eyeballsinthesky - how are your biceps doing?! Mine kill

OP posts:

halogen · 02/09/2008 21:39

Agree with everyone else. She's not being naughty, she's just trying to tell you what she wants which happens to be you. If she could say 'Mummy, I like you better than the buggy/daddy/the bouncy chair, and I want to be with you' she would. That's a good thing, really. She wants you because she knows that you are the person who is best able to fulfil her needs. Feel flattered if you can, not cross. In a way, it means you are doing a great job. If you give her what she wants at this age, it will mean that she has confidence that her needs will be met and confidence that what she needs matters and that there is someone in the world who understands what she needs. That's a brilliant thing to be doing for her.

onepieceoflollipop · 02/09/2008 21:41

My 13 month old behaves like this. She doesn't understand no. My first daughter was a bit more easy going but less cuddly. They are all different.

Definitely not naughty. I often think it must be very confusing/frustrating for a little baby not being able to communicate effectively (sometimes) and that is what leads to misunderstanding and tears (for mum and baby sometimes!)

Heated · 02/09/2008 21:41

She sounds lovely. It's her first proper attempts at communication - okay, in excited ear-defender decibels - but it's a good thing! She doesn't think it's naughty, just that it gets a response & she clearly finds meeting ppl entertaining. And she's 'naughtier' or more experimental around you because it's you she loves the most and feels safest with . Ignore the screams, distract and be smiley and positive when she's behaving her best.

Also from what I remember with ds it's also at 8-9m they start that separation anxiety stage where they don't like to let you out of their sight, it too is a phase and will pass.

halogen · 02/09/2008 21:42

Also, I don't understand why you would want to teach your child that wanting you is a bad thing, pinata? It's normal for a child to want to be with the person they love best in the world. It's not something to be discouraged, surely?

Original poster

pamelat · 02/09/2008 21:42

I suppose I just want to know that I am not "spoiling" her as I tend to pick her up once she is whinge-y.

In public, this avoids an embarassing screaming fit with old ladies telling me that she must be hungry ... ?!

At home, its to preserve my sanity. At home, I sometimes leave her to grumble for a bit but it always ends up as a scream, to which I respond.

I don't expect her to entertain herself for long, but 5 minutes to make a cup of tea would be nice ....

She is a lot less whinge-y outside of home. I think she gets bored with the familiar maybe?

OP posts:

bluejellybean · 02/09/2008 21:44

She sounds very bright. Go to baby sign.....you may find it very helpful so she can tell you what she wants as she gets older, but before she can talk?

onepieceoflollipop · 02/09/2008 21:44

Lovely post lucicle.

Sometimes I think "oh no, give me a little break" then I look at her little face and I just melt.

Re the buggy, of course she wants to be in your arms having cuddles and looking round. I often carry my dd and push the buggy with the other hand, it is actually quite lovely once you stop fretting that they "ought" to stay in the buggy!

bluejellybean · 02/09/2008 21:45

She sounds very bright. Go to baby sign.....you may find it very helpful so she can tell you what she wants as she gets older, but before she can talk?

pinata · 02/09/2008 21:45

cross posts - anyway, my DD is EXACTLY the same. however, the one trick that has worked in calming her down is not letting her have too many loud, bashy, over-stimulating toys, which seem to just whip her up into a frenzy

a day or 2 of very calm play seems to work well (although it is much less fun...). also a bit of well-timed tv can work wonders. 10 minutes here and there of baby tv often calms her

oh, and if it's any consolation, my DD cries to be picked up and as soon as she is promptly ignores me and starts looking around for something else and wriggling to be put down again. that bit is separation anxiety, pretty sure about that and hoping it will pass

bluejellybean · 02/09/2008 21:45

She sounds very bright. Go to baby sign.....you may find it very helpful so she can tell you what she wants as she gets older, but before she can talk?

halogen · 02/09/2008 21:46

I don't think you are spoiling her at all. Pick her up. She loves you and you love her and you should try to enjoy it if you can! If you need to make a cup of tea, it's perfectly fine to put her somewhere she can see you and do it but I don't think you should try to stop her making her needs and wants known to you. It's encouraging her to express herself to you and that can only be a good thing, IMO.

PeppermintPatty · 02/09/2008 21:47

No she's not being naughty.
She sounds just like my DD. She always wanted to be carried around by me at that age too. I tended to just give in to what she wanted (within reason!).
However, now she's an independent 14 month old who wriggles away if I try to cuddle her! So I say make the most of the cuddles and closeness while you can (even if it does drive you crazy!).

Original poster

pamelat · 02/09/2008 21:47

Lucicile & Heated - she is lovely, thank you.

I just hope that she is ok/happy. Today has been a particulary fretful day for her, and I do what I can but thats often just holding and carrying.

When I placed a "?!" after the bit about old ladies saying that shes hungry - its just more an exclamation that people always seem to assume thats whats required. I used to feed on demand but now we go 3 ish hours between milk in the day as she is on meals. I know she isn't hungry.

Maybe shes just affectionate, thats a nice way to think about it!

OP posts:

halogen · 02/09/2008 21:47

Thanks, onepieceoflollipop!

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