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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Naughty Step!

11 replies

clarke · 02/09/2008 11:54

Lately when my Dd is naughty i have been putting her on the naughty step!

She stays there and knows she has done wrong. She is 20 mnth.

Do you think she is too young to use the naughty step?

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bogie · 02/09/2008 11:56

No its fine we have used the naughty step since ds was 18 months old

Frangipani74 · 02/09/2008 13:13

Most things children do at this age are only naughty from our perspective, usually they're just exploring and experimenting. I personally feel the naughty step is a bit harsh, especially so young.

My approach with my two year old is to tolerate as much as I can, unless it's dangerous, unkind, or beyond what I feel able to put up with - clear boundaries are a must, but I don't feel punnishment is necessary to teach him how to behave. I clearly tell him no, and show him what it is that I want him to do.

I was inspired by good book, "Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason", Alfie Kohn. He may goes a bit far but it made me reconsider my parenting style.

Not easy being a parent eh?

devesa · 07/09/2008 22:01

I agee with Frangi....at this tender age the best form of discipline is diversion. State clearly (using eye contact) that this is undesireable behaviour and smartly get onto something else!

ja9 · 07/09/2008 22:06

i've used it once with dd 18mo. she was repeatedly playing in the toilet [barf emoticon]and diversion tactis and stern 'no's weren't working. hasn't played in it since. i'm a big fan of naughty step - has worked really well with ds(4yo).

BlueberryPancake · 08/09/2008 20:36

It's a choice really, it's a parenting decision. We use it with DS1 since he was 2, and use it maybe twice a week, in situations when we believe he needs to cool down or when he has been hurting his little brother. We always try to find out why he was "misbehaving" (tiredness, jealousy, need for attention) and try to solve that, but tonight for example he kept on taking a toy from his little brother (a handbag) and was laughing when his brother was crying. We told him not to do that twice, and he did it again so it was 2 minutes in naughty corner. And apologise of course.

Sycamoretree · 08/09/2008 20:44

I used the naughty step with DD, now three. Can't remember when it started - may around the same age as you LO. But funnily enough, just reading this has made me realise we haven't had to resort to it for ages. There was a time between nearly 2 and 2.5 that she was really pushing at boundaries and sometimes this was the simplest and clearest way to make her understand when she had repeatedly crossed the line. I just think stick to three strikes and you're out if you use it. Give them opportunity to correct behaviour or apologies. The one time I went immediately to naughty step was when she slapped me in the face with two hands in a play cafe. She had never even tried to bat at me before, or since. It came so out of nowhere the shock near killed me. I naughty stepped her in the corner of the cafe for the world to see and stare at. I was hot with rage and so shocked I couldn't speak - she hurt me! She just didn't want to go upstairs to have her poopy nappy changed - guess she was just having too much fun....

devesa · 08/09/2008 22:34

Has anyone heard of 123Magic? It's brilliant and works fantastically from 2.5ish onwards......

Sycamoretree · 08/09/2008 22:37

No Devsa - do tell!

devesa · 08/09/2008 22:45

Along the same lines as think stick, (I have never heard of that), you count the undesireable behaviour. When you introduce it you say "child's name, thats one. If I get to three that's time out" If they carry on you go to two, warning again that if you have to count to three, it's time out/naughty step or whatever you call the area. It's important to stick to your guns every time and equally important to use eye contact and fingers for the counting. My dd is 3.3 and we started it last week (she has a 3 month old baby brother) and it works like a dream.
You can count behaviour which you don't want and also count the child to get them to do things...put knickers on, shoes on etc...
By 2 weeks you shouldn't have to get to 3! With my daughter we haven't had to get to three and we've only just started.

LittlePushka · 08/09/2008 22:46

Like B Pancake, I have used it when eg DS1 23mths has deliberately hurt his little brother or has bitten. In his life I have used it perhaps 3 or 4 times (with sorries etc) and he does understand and it has improved his behaviour/attitude. It has been ages since we used it though!

I was told by someone that the time to leave him is a minute or part thereof for every year.

But what is 123 Magic? Intrigued! Tell me...go to go do dream feed in a wee while!

devesa · 08/09/2008 22:52

Oh, and when timeout is used after three you say something like "When you are ready to put your shoes on you can come and tell me" or "When you are ready to say sorry to your brother you can come and tell me". Obvoiously with younger children you use minutes...yes, littleP I think it's a minute per year. Whenever I have sent my DD to her room before we introduced 123magic I just said when you are ready.....and it worked well, she was invariably down in a trice and eating her lunch beautifully!!!!

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