i got a call from school about my 3yo hitting other kids!!!!!

[aquablue]

please would love any advice from anyone who has a similar situation to me!!!!

i got a call from my son's preschool - 3 parents have complained about him hitting their kids. One kid is even too scared to come to school because of him. i feel so embarrassed and even feel sick in my stomach!!! i can imagine the parents are so angry at him (and probably us!).

i think his problem is that his speech is delayed, so he can't express or communicate with words, and believes using physical force gets his way. he does hit his little brother (1yo) - and we do reprimand him - usually time out. i notice he is getting worse these days, everytime we go on playdates, there are always a number of times he is hitting the other children.

or maybe he is just aggressive in nature. when we have one-one-one time, he is a perfect little angel. he is quite introverted - likes his space, and playing on his own rather than with the gorup - or one-on-one play. sometimes i think he even doesn't mind time out!

and i'm not sure whether i should pull him out of school. is he not ready to go?

what has worked for you???!!!!

Hi aquablue. It's so hard to deal with hitting, you have my sympathy. What has the school suggested? Are the classes small enough that someone can help your son with his speech so that he isn't so frustrated. For my guess that this is the problem. Children even young children are very quick on picking up what "pushes" the buttons of other children. The school should be working at helping you and your son. I would perhaps suggest that you try and find perhaps a great teacher who can work with your son to help his speech in addition to keeping him at school.

If he's great one on one, encourage that activity and see if the school can support that situation.

Remember he's only 3 and will be learning a lot and emotions are hard for all small children. We just re-inforce all the time, that words are what are used, not bodies to talk. They do get the message eventually.

My son is nearly 4 and I have had problems with him since i can remember, kicking and hitting and generally losing the plot. He is however, in a good nursery and although his speech is fine there are behaviour issues and the nursery ahve referred him to the Speech and ? department for assessment. This has taken a long time but i was contacted by a lady who will observe him at nursery. Have your nursery thought about referring him. Also, have you had his ears checked as glu ear can cause all manner of problems. I would think carefully about pulling him out of nursery, why dont you talk to your health visitors as well.
Good Luck