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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

BITING - 3 Yr old Ds turning into JAWs and biting several times a day. How on earth do I stop him?

20 replies

PanicPants · 28/08/2008 21:39

He used to bite occassionally, and then it completely stopped, but now he is biting All the time, whenever anyone says no to him, tries to dress him, put him in the car seat or whenever he doesn't get his own way.

I say no it's not nice, and ignore but really it's not doing any good.

He is just so aggressive at the moment and is due to start nursery in 2 weeks and I know he'll end up biting a child there.

PLease help.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

quinne · 28/08/2008 21:55

Give him Marmite to eat every time he bites. Just a tiny amount on the tip of a spoon or your finger. It stopped my DS from biting at that age quite quickly. Ignoring doesn't work for this IME.

(He'll hate marmite forever though)

If you do try it, let me know if it worked for you too

Original poster

PanicPants · 30/08/2008 12:53

I agree that ignoring does not work at all. I like the idea behind the marmite, but ds loves it. Could I use something else? But no idea what though.

Any other ideas?

OP posts:

NattyThomasAndEllen · 30/08/2008 23:02

sorry but biting him back is the only thing that works, imo, up to u of course, many parents on here would say i am a product of the devil. however it works, everytime. my son occasionally goes back to it, but one swift bite on the finger (doesnt bruise or mark, but hurts enought to prove the point) stops him in his tracks and touch wood he hasnt done if for nearly a year.

the marmite thing stopped my BIL swearing lol it is very effective, perhaps finding another food he hates the taste of?

HonoriaGlossop · 30/08/2008 23:14

IMHO you don't need to bother with marmite or biting - so far he simply hasn't had a consequence for biting; saying no then ignoring is just not enough for this. IMO what he needs is to have time out on his own each and every time he does it. If he bites when he is told no, he needs to FEEL a clear and undeniable consequence to that. Again if you're trying to dress him, the same. It doesn't need to be too long, a minute is enough IMO.

I have to say if he hates going in his car seat I think alot of people, me included, get round this with a little bribery - if he sits nicely he could have a little treat, whatever you choose. It just gets you through this phase without it having to be a battle IME.

PrincessCaspian · 31/08/2008 09:50

I use Mustard on my nearly 3 yr old. He hates it and the biting has pretty much stopped! You can buy it in little squeezy tubes, handy to take out and about with you.

HonoriaGlossop · 31/08/2008 11:18

I am truly shocked at the use of marmite and mustard and biting. You as the adult have enough brain to think a bit harder than that. There are other ways that work that don't involve you doing nasty things to your child.

mamadiva · 31/08/2008 11:26

My DS is 2.2YO and has never bit anyone but if he did I'd probably bite him back, not hard enough to leave any marks or that just enough to make him see that it's not nice to have it done to you. Worked with my brother.

PrincessCaspian · 31/08/2008 11:50

So biting your child back is better than putting a tiny bit of mustard in their mouth? I put a tiny bit of mustard on my finger and rub it on his teeth so he can associate the biting with the mustard. It's not like I load a spoon up with it!

Original poster

PanicPants · 31/08/2008 18:55

It's so difficult to find a balance - somehing which is effective but isn't something which hurts the child.

As yet I haven't tried mustard/marmite, and I couldn't ever bite ds.

I will retry timeouts, but find them so hard to do now, as ds resists and screams and refuses to stay put. If I put him in his room with the star gate he jsut screams 'let me out' at the top of his voice. God knows what my neighbours think.

Anymore ideas?

OP posts:

Original poster

PanicPants · 31/08/2008 18:56

Thats a timeout in his room with the stair gate for 2 minutes - not for any longer btw.

OP posts:

LeonieD · 31/08/2008 20:16

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LeonieD · 31/08/2008 20:20

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NattyThomasAndEllen · 01/09/2008 00:18

leonie, i couldnt agree more, my son has also got learning difficulties, and cannot understand that it hurts. like i said, other ppl will say we are awful parents, but if it works it is minor compared with having to explain why your daughter/son is biting another child.
my son bite his sister on the face the last time that i refrained from using the bite back technigue, and in my humble opionion kids do not understand timeout where biting is concerned because they feel they have done nothing wrong, because they dont understand the pain it causes if they havent experianced it.

if u truely think that u cannot bring yourself to do this OP, then wait till he starts school, when another kid will bite him back, and the he will learn, and wont do it any longer.. trust me.

negril · 01/09/2008 00:25

i bit my dd2 when she bit me it was on my bottom so ibit her back and she has never done it since and she was always biting her sister.

negril · 01/09/2008 00:37

some people are just to scared to dicipiline there children but as parents if we dont dont do it and i promise you with this thought the system will and it would be he fell down the stairs sarge, and prison is much worse dont want to frighten you but that is the reality and by the way supernanny has no children so she is in and out of peoples lives so forget naughty step, think 23 hours lock up if you dont start diciplining.

solo · 01/09/2008 00:43

23 hours lock up my arse!

Mogsmum · 01/09/2008 12:19

I think you have to try a variety of 'punishments' and see which works for your little darling. My DS is nearly 3 and bites when he is tired and frustrated at having being told he can't do something. I tried biting him back with explanation of why biting is wrong but that didn't work. I've tried reminding him how he felt when he was bitten by another little boy at the CM, that didn't work. What works for me is removing a treat. He loves his bike/the TV/chocolate so which ever treat he is due I tell him he can't have now because he bit mummy and reinforce with more explanation of why biting is wrong.

This has seriuosly reduced the amount of times he was biting and we have only had one episode in the last 3 months. Sounds bad still but it's an improvement! It will take time, tears and tantrums to resolve and hopefully by the time he is 40 it will be fine!

negril · 01/09/2008 13:59

solo
my partner works in this sector and he drums it down my ear hole every day because he sees them and he does reports about them and that the mother is the educator.blah blah blah

solo · 02/09/2008 01:38

Negril. They are not locked in cell for 23 hours a day. I know this because I lock them up! that is my usual job and they are out of cell from 8AM until 12:30, then from 13:30 until 17:30 and are often out for evening association/gym/football/education for a further 90 to 120 minutes. Some are out of cell from even earlier if they work in the kitchen.

madmarriedNika · 02/09/2008 11:17

Personally I use strict time out to any 'bad' behaviour in my 3yo DS- but will always give him a clear explanation of why his behaviour is unacceptable. I also explain that if he kicks/pushes (he's not a biter- yet!) other children, which really hurts them, then we can't play with other children so we won't be able to go to the playground/toddler group etc. He loves playing with others, as they all do really, so this seems to help a lot.

Ignoring might work well for younger children tantrumming etc. but I find this doesn't register now DS is older and so doesn't work as a form of disciplining.

Good luck x

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