17 months and not talking, pointing, waving.

[sadieandharrysmum]

My adorable happy little boy seems to consistently fail his quarterly reviews with the hv. She asks questions relating to his pointing, waving etc.

He does not follow instructions.
What are these skills indicators for?

His labour was very long and difficult resulting in him having a massive heamatoma. His head is mishapen now.

He also hedbutts in temper.

I am worried that all these things could bve related.

Has anyone has experience of these things at this age? I am very worried.

Hi, sorry no experience but just waned to bump this post for you!

Might sound obvious but do you point at things a lot for him so he can copy you? I remember when my ds was about 8 months old, I went mad pointing at everything and asking him where things were (such as the TV, his teddy, the lights, etc) then pointing at it til he started to remember words and look towards the object when I asked him where it was, then he started gesturing with his old hand, then eventually pointed at the object I was asking him.

Does he look at things when you do point them out to him?

Also, the headbutting thing, my ds does this in temper and he's only 12 months so I wouldn't worry!

Don't forget that he may not do these things til 18 months and still be within the 'normal' range. He may do these things after 18 months and still be completely fine.

Talk it through with your health visitor as you are obviously worried.

xxxxxx

Hi there, sorry that you've been so worried. Pointing and waving are important milestones in non verbal communication, they usually occur between 12-18 months of age and failure to reach these milestones can indicate delayed language development or possible autistic spectrum disorders.

Particular things to look for are whether your child follows your point if you're showing him something, ever points to show you something, or to request an object. Waving and clapping are significant as it shows your child is able to understand and imitate a gesture - also important signs of communication.
Does he make good eye contact with you? How does he communicate his needs to you?

Regarding the headbutting, I'm no expert but it does sound as though something is making him uncomfortable and needs checking out by a pediatrician. I took DS2 to a cranial osteopath when he was 7 months and i felt he was getting headaches, and she said he had residual birth trauma which was pinching a nerve and even preventing him from sitting comfortably. I had no idea that this could be linked but he's now fine and within a week of the appointment he was sitting beautifully.

I wish you well, your DS is still very young and a lot could change in the next few weeks but do ask for a pediatric referral if you continue to be concerned.

Hi SadieandHarrysmum- I'm a paediatric Speech and Language Therapist.

Pointing/ waving question is relating to his social understanding/ initiation- both (one of many) dev milestones that paediatricians (in particular) use to gauge how a child is progressing.

following instructions- looking at verbal cognition/ understanding (and perhaps attention skillsp)- again used by health profs to gauge whether a child would need support to develop these skills.

If I were you, to put your mind at rest and so that you can ask all the questions you have and talk through any anxieties that are arising- go back to HV/ GP and get the paed referral that Tclanger suggests.

he is still young but early support and intervention (if necessary) is definately favourable.

crossed posts with kt14

Hi Sadie. There's been a recent thread about this topic, here, which might have some useful info on.

My DS was almost 16 months when he began pointing, which from what I have read, is the key development relating to sharing attention (lack of which would indicate a need for further assessment), and I was really getting worried, so I can relate to your concerns. I understand that 18 months is a guide for when further assessment might be an idea, so if there are concerns then, no time will be wasted in getting any help he may benefit from - and if he's fine then you've lost nothing in getting that reassurance. But there are people on MN who have a much greater knowledge than me so hopefully someone can give you more info.

It may be that if his birth was traumatic as it sounds, this may affect his development? Has he hit other milestones normally?

Perhaps it may be worth seeing your GP (what does your HV recommend?), but I was given advice about this when DS was 15 months, which was keep an eye out, but try to enjoy him without worrying too much yet. Things could change really quickly.

Thank you everyone for being so helpful. I can't believe it but Harry actually pointed at his toy this morning and said "eeee eee eee", then did the same with a picture of his sister on the wall!! I am thrilled. I think this shows that he is trying to initiate interaction himself? I am hoping this could be the start of him catching up.

His eye contact is good and he seems to mimic me in some things and enjoy repetative play like peepo.

My health visitor is monitoring him but she says he is far too young yet for a referal. I have asked twice. She just keeps telling me that he's a boy and boys are slower than girls! I am quite sure there is no evidence to back that up.

All of the insight I have gained from this fabulous and helpful website leads me to believe he is hitting each milestone just about three months late. I might try my GP and confirm that there is no link between his traumatic birth, headshape and headbutting. I think once I have put that out of my mind I will worry less.

Thanks again people. This is the first time I have ever done anything like this and you have certainly been extremely supportive. X

Good for him! You must be very reassured by this. What impeccable timing from him too - perhaps he just knew how worried you were , nothing like keeping you on your toes! Bloody milestones, I reckon they exist purely to give parents sleepless nights.

But flippancy aside, if you are concerned perhaps it would be worth talking to the GP about his birth/headbutting. Did someone mention cranial osteopathy too? I haven't tried it but have several friends rave about it for their DCs for all sorts of conditions. There may be nothing but it might put your mind at rest.

Anyway, great news about the pointing. Hope everything else clicks into place too. FWIW, when I was concerned about DS I over-analysed every part of his behaviour and convinced myself there was something up, but once he pointed, I realised everything else was normal - what had seemed abnormal behaviour suddenly wasn't anymore, I think it had really been more about me and my neuroses! (Not that I'm suggesting you're neurotic too!)

Fantastic about the pointing - what a clever boy!!! You must be very relieved about that. I was just about to point out the thread I started the other day on the exact same thing but I think FattipuffsandThinnifers has already done it.

I'm so pleased about the pointing. I must be psychic, I told you he'd most likely do it before 18 months, lol!

Seriously though, he sounds lovely and well done to you for asking your hv so early on. It's so important to get these things checked out, if only to set your mind at rest!

Hooray, that's great, so pleased for you! My DS2 has just done it too, and I actually cried with relief after the hoo ha we've had with DS1.
And yes, fattipuffs it was me with the cranial osteopathy. I honestly can't recommend this enough, I would take any young baby for a check up regardless of whether you have concerns as the lady my friends and i have all seen (down south west, can give a name if anyone lives down this way) has worked wonders with eating, sleeping and mobility issues for so many of our babies.