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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

My 8 month old reallly giving me a hard time - please help - only eating baby rice and is stuck to me like velcro all day

41 replies

Amani · 21/08/2008 15:49

Hi,

Really need some advice and help as I don't know what to do...

I have an 8 month old DD who is still eating only baby rice purees and does not eat anything else (no lumpier food, no fruit/veg purees). All meal times are a struggle and am lucky to get her to eat about 5 baby spoons of baby rice. Am so frustrated as when I went to see the HV to have her weighed her weight was in the 9th per centile for a baby of her age.

Incidently when I first started weaning her - she took really well to all types of fruit and veg and it's been 3 weeks since she has stopped and won't have anything other than baby rice and milk. What can I do to get her to eat properly (i.e lumpier food, fruit/veg)???..am so worried that she is going to make herself ill by not eating.

Also she is literally stuck to me all day and I can't even go to the toilet without her screaming her head off. I've reached the stage where my wrists are aching so much and somedays I find myself in agony carrying her around and trying to do household task. I've tried keeping her in the same room as me when I work, but she just wants to be on my lap all the time or helping her to stand....what can I do to help her gain a bit more independance?

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Pinkjenny · 21/08/2008 15:51

I feel your pain. I have to go to the toilet with dd on my knee in the morning. And she's 15mo.

Sorry. I'm sure people will be along with some good advice, but you're not alone. xx

LuckySalem · 21/08/2008 16:00

Oh Amani - That sounds horrible. I thought it was bad with DD but I do get SOME time to myself.

I'm gonna get slated for this but I think you need to be cruel to be kind to her in regards to not letting you put her down.

As for food - Is there no way you can sneak it in? IE: puree some rice and sneak some veg in? or make the rice slightly lumpier?

Lilyloo · 21/08/2008 16:03

Amani sorry things are so tough at them mo.
Have you tried reintroducing the fruit/veg purees mixed in with the baby rice ?

Also does she have an activity station there are plenty around and half the price on ebay.
I just got dd this and it is a lifesaver and saves on holding her up all day as she is another who likes to be on her feet.

Original poster

Amani · 21/08/2008 16:03

Cheers Lucky- I've tried to sneak a little bit of veg into the puree and she has the first spoon and that's it - stubbornly closes her mouth and does not open it. The lumpier rice method work when she is mega hungry, but still only eats about 3/4 spoons of it....

Cruel to be kind.....It work with me for 3-4 mins then I can't bear to hear her cry and go and pick her up...

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idontbelieveit · 21/08/2008 16:04

Do you have a sling? 8 months is very young to be gaining independence. If you stick her in a sling on your back you could get on with stuff and it wouldn't be so tricky to carry her around.
Re the food, my daughter didn't eat solids with any enthusiasm until she was at least 12 months old and is now a healthy 26 month old. I really wouldn't worry about her taking to solids slowly so long as she's getting plenty of milk.
Maybe cut back to just 1 solid mealtime for a week or so and the rest of the time just offering her tastes from your plate. If you aren't enjoying giving her the solids she won't be enjoying eating them either. I'm sure my dd didn't eat 2 meals a day until she was about 10 months and even then it was hit and miss.

Has her weight gain been a cause for concern, are you and your partner small or big? She might be fine for herself even though she's only on the 9th centile. Unless she seems unwell I wouldn't get too hung up on her weight gain.
Hope this helps a bit.

Original poster

Amani · 21/08/2008 16:05

Lily - borrowed something similar from a friend and she just started crying like anything after 6/7 mins because I wasn't in the room with her...

OP posts:

Lilyloo · 21/08/2008 16:06

Amani also have you tried giving her something to hold when feeding her.
I find dd will eat spoon fed if she has something to chomp on too.
Maybe a piece of cheese/rice cake/ breadstick etc.

LuckySalem · 21/08/2008 16:07

In that case then you need something to keep her entertained as Lilly says.

I read in my "what to expect" bible book that the best thing to do is to sit baby on the floor or whatever and play with her for 10mins, then when baby is happy you get up and do something the other end of the room. If baby starts to grumble ignore, if it becomes full on scream go back but DO NOT PICK BABY UP unless she is in distress (wet nappy etc etc) play some more and repeat. If she doesn't grumble whilst you are away then leave the room but play "peek a boo" with them as you are leaving a couple of times so they know you are coming back. If screaming again go back and play and keep doing this.
If nothing leave the room for 2 mins then go back and "reward" baby. Leave it longer each time.

Does this help at all?

TheProvincialLady · 21/08/2008 16:08

I second everything idontbelieveit said. Honestly, at 8m nothing she eats in the way of vegetables, fruit etc is going to have the slightest impact on her weight so you don't need to worry. And a good sling - such as an ergo - is what got us through these months. I am only 5'2 and very small build but carrying my DS round was a doddle. It kept him happy and I was able to get on with stuff.

Lilyloo · 21/08/2008 16:08

I think it's pretty normal for lo's to become aware of you at this age.
So if she has something she is happy to sit in/ play with even if it's only a few mins then you can leave the room and keep returning and gradually increase the time you leave her.

LuckySalem · 21/08/2008 16:08

Food wise - Give her things you would eat when you are eating? So a piece of bread so she can copy you.

Original poster

Amani · 21/08/2008 16:11

Lucky - thanks - not tried that one....will defo give it a go....

Idontbelieveit- don't have a sling - being a bi think here but thought they were only suitable until 6 months. My partner is stocky and about 5 11 and I'm avarage weight 5 4...I know it's naughty to compare but my DD1 had lovely chubby checks and was a healthy eater by this stage, where as DD2 is small and am getting a bit fed up of comments from people saying 'oh she is small for her age' etc...

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Original poster

Amani · 21/08/2008 16:13

meant 'think I'm being a bit thick here'

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Original poster

Amani · 21/08/2008 16:14

lily and lucky - will try giving her something in her hand to munch when I feed her.... feeding times are a pain aswell - she won't sit in the highchair but will want to be on my lap, which is hard work, as I sometimes cant see where th spoon is going...

OP posts:

TheProvincialLady · 21/08/2008 16:15

Amani some slings like the Baby Bjorn might not be useful after 6m but my ergo is suitable for up to 40lbs, which at 2 my son is still nowhere near. A good sling distributes the weight so well you would hardly know you were carrying the baby.

LuckySalem · 21/08/2008 16:17

Amani - it'll be messy but try putting the food on her spoon and just giving it to her. The more independant she becomes on even little things like that the more she may not need to cling so much.

As its been said she is a baby and you are her support network so I think she needs to gain a little self confidence to keep her happy.

meandmyjoe · 21/08/2008 16:19

Have you tried baby lead weaning, where she just holds food and nibbles at what she wants? Some babies really hate being spoon fed (my ds was exactly as you describe!). My only advice would be to not let meal times become a battle. Make her small sandwiches with cheese spread or poato cakes, fishfingers, sices of chicken, anything that you eat snd let her feed herself. Most of it will end up on the floor at first but she should eventually get the hang of it. She's still very young as far as weaning goes so she should still have lots of milk and don't panic if she doesn't eat much.

As for the putting her down. I could never do the cruel to be kind thing, I just put up with it and did everything one handed til he learned to crawl and didn't want to be carried all the time. I'm not sure that anything else would work as my ds used to get so upset that it wasn't worth it. I just had him attached to me ALL the time for 9 months and still had him attached to me qute a lot until he got walking a couple of weeks ago. He's 12 months now and eats like a horse!

MrsSprat · 21/08/2008 16:19

Have you tried food at different temperatures? This works sometimes for me, I try something at an acceptable temp with no joy, then 20 mins later it's gobbled up.

Also handheld food worked very well, a banana she can bash the hell out of, bits of pitta bread, which seem to work v.well for teething too

Baby porridge with natural added ingredients, fruit or veg was also a helpful transition from rice.

idontbelieveit · 21/08/2008 16:22

This is the kind of thing i used and it was great when dd was little and she still goes in it now.

Neeerly3 · 21/08/2008 16:24

Does your DD2 have any teeth yet? My DT's didn't eat lumps until they were way over one as they didn't cut any teeth until they were 17 months - so chewing was a no no - they could gum a biscuit to death or a piece of toast, but give them something like pasta in sauce, gag and puke the whole lot back!

At 8 months, her world is the room she is sat in, so when you leave it, you've left her world...quite traumatic for a little person - try as people have said, activity stations, or maybe a door bouncer in the room you are in - you are still WITH her then, but your hands are free and you can get on with things. I used to 'hang' my two from opposite door frames in their door bouncers while I got dinner ready, talking them through the process, showing them what I was doing and singing to them - as long as they could SEE me they seemed happy.

mamachat · 21/08/2008 16:29

Hi my dd was exactly the same, and I was very worried and upset.

I started taking her to baby play groups around that ae and she loves other children so much that she went crawling off to play but every now and again would look up to check I was still there...

With the food issue I was desprate for her to eat and made loads of great purees etc but she only ate 1-2 spoons at a time.

Is your dd bf? Mine was and I think that is why she didn't eat much. Just before her 1st birthday she started eating really well and has not stopped. So a few weeks ago I decide to wean off the breast in the day time. Now she is sooo hungry all the time I can not keep up, she will only eat a few different meals but eats alot of what she likes.

Things will get better when she is ready.

Also I have just started working 1-2days per week, and when I leave her all day she is so happy to see me but not as clingly anymore...

She still has good and bad days but it has really improved.. Good luck x x

BouncingTurtle · 21/08/2008 16:39

Sorry you are having a hard time,Amani!
Second the door bouncer - ds loves his. but he does like an audience, but it does allow me to get on with things in the lounge!
I also have one of these in the kitchen, a baby nest in our bedroom which keeps ds temporarily occupied while I do things as well.
As for the food - remember milk is all the nutrution she needs until she is one, as log as she is having plenty of milk then she will thrive - my ds is also a 9th centiler and I get the same comments about him being little! But I ignore them.
I would have a go at baby led weaning - ds hated baby rice and turned his nose up at loads of purees, then I tried BLW and he loves it.
I would recommend slinging as well - though my ds won't entertain it!
Soreey haven't been more helpful!

Original poster

Amani · 21/08/2008 16:42

thanks everyone - lots of good advice - am so desperate will give everything a go....am going to look om ebay for some activity stations

oh and due to go back to work in a couple of weeks and am so nervous about how she will get on at nursery,,,,,,,,

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Neeerly3 · 21/08/2008 16:46

can I also add, as a mother of twins, that putting your baby down and leaving her to cry while you go for a wee will not hurt her.....having two babies I didn't have the option of carrying mine everywhere, I couldn't split myself two ways, so sometimes they had to be left....gut wrenching at the time, and very frustrating, dealing with one screaming baby while the other looked forlornly on, but they soon got used to the fact that mummy would not come the second they squawked, so generally they were quite patient babies (as toddlers and now nearly 4 year olds mind you - another story!).

I am pregs with DC3 now and while i will be tempted to 'spoil' this one (I use the term loosely btw, I am not implying held babies are spoilt), simply because I couldn't with the twins, I will try and do things much as I did with the boys as now I have the benefit of hindsight and can see the advantages of a non-clingy baby.

BouncingTurtle · 21/08/2008 16:54

Amani - I'm with you, ds is starting at nursery in a couple of weeks, so know how you feel!

And I've left ds screaming in his cot/bouncy chair while I've gone to the loo!

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