Is it just boys?

[M155PIGGY]

I'm at my whits end and do not know what to do next. I have 3 DS aged 18m / 4 / 5 and they are running wild and out of control. No matter what I try, be it softly softly or disciplinarian it does not matter. My house is a total wreck, all their christmas toys have been destroyed and the neighbours complain about the noise even though we live in a semi and next door are out at work all day. Anyone got any ideas how to regain some control?

I'm not sure wy they said no to my childminder - I asked the teacher if she wanted to sit down and discuss his behaviour etc but she said to wait til parents evening on 24/3 - she did say that there is one particular boy who my ds doesn't get on with at all - he was off on wednesday and my ds behaviour was a bit better. You could be right bigmumma about the getting too excited though, he has been saying he must wait his turn etc but in the heat of the moment he seems to forget - he says afterwards what he did was naughty!!!
Yesterday out in the playground there were 4 kids there and they were playing so nicely with no hitting or pushing or fighting - maybe you're right about the attention bit too - not too many to compete with!
I'll wait and see what parents evening brings!

Well today took DS to pre-school and was asked if I had 5 minutes to spare for a "chat". Anyway they have raised the same question again to me - that they want to get extra funding for extra help so DS can have 1 to 1 adult attention. They feel he needs it. Again I was upset about it and got a little upset with the lady who spoke to me (she's a nice lady too). Felt they just couldn't handle lively child and said so, but after thinking about it they are right, he is a problem. Apparently he throws sand from the little sand pit they have and when the key worker asks who has thrown sand all the kids say DS did it. DS also went up to two children at sand pit the other day and had book in his hand and went to bash them over the head for no reason. He wont sit on the mat at story time. Only listens to story if he's sat with key worker. Always ask for key worker to sit with him. He wont play with other children very well (if at all). Although they have said he's very very intelligent. Phoned Health Visitor today and left message for her to call me on Monday. ANY IDEAS WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM? He's OK at home and with family. It really is when he gets with other kids. OK he's silly at home sometimes when he's bored but not aggressive. I'm so so worried and I know this is going to be on my mind all weekend.

P.S. Tron - at least your DS does play with other kids. My DS seems to prefer adult company or play on his own.

Hi Bigmumma - It sounds like our ds were twins separated at birth. I know it's not much but it's such a relief to find that someone else is in the same position as me. I went over to my friends house today - ds was at nursey - her 2.5 yer old dd and another friends dd who is 3 were playing so nicely together we left them to it and had a cuppa - if ds was there there would have been no way i could have done that. My HV hasn't got back to me yet - i left her a mesaage last week, i wanted to ask her about ADHD - not sure if she will consider it - whenever she sees ds he is the perfect child doing exactly what he is told. I was very shakey when i rang her cos I'd just got home from the nursery after being told that yet again ds had been 'provoking' the other children - ds told me he'd been sitting in the naughty chair!
He'll play nicley with certain children and only if there is only a couple - any more than 5 and i have to watch him like a hawk!
I've been chatting with some mums and my childminder - they all seem to think that he sees things as a competition for attention from the teachers/other children - i hope this is all it is and he'll soon realise that by hitting no one will want to play with him anymore and if he's fun and nice he'll enjoy himelf more with no one shouting at him!

my own advice would be as i hav 2 older children 16 & 11 was too deprive them of everything they enjoyed ie toys sweets crisps games or anything they loved just to teach them they couldnt behave like that if they could prove they were behaving in the manner i liked then they could get them back.but you hav to be strong willed and keep to it or itll never work no matter what you try.

I had a thumbs up when i picked him up from nursery yesterday - i'm working today so he's with his childminder - i'm praying he's on the up! Very happy so i just thought i'd post it

Stupid me - back to square one

I am new on here and have just finished reading everyones stories, and am feeling much better about things.

I have two DS, 16 yrs and 2 yrs, probably the worst two ages!!!
I have been going out of my mind trying to work out how to deal with their behaviour and whilst no-one has mentioned how to deal with the 16 yr old, i have got plenty of ideas on how to deal with the two year old.

I am glad that i found this site... I think it might just prevent me from ending up in the local mental asylum.

Spoke to my HV re: the pre-school's comments about him still requiring 1:1 attention from keyworker. HV has been excellent. She phoned me 9.05 am Monday morning and has arranged someone to go and watch him "in action" at pre-school. The lady will stay for the whole 2 1/2 hour session and then another day she is going to come to our house and watch his behaviour then. I am really worried. I have turned into a paranoid wreck. I am convinced all my friends are talking about me behind my back. In fact one of my friends was supposed to come here with several other mums on Tuesday pm and she never showed. She gave a message to another girl and also said she wasnt coming out Friday night because of what has wound her up. I am soooooo convinced its my DS1 that has wound her up. Maybe he has bashed her daughter one too many times. He has got another hearing test on 24 March as one of his ears was a bit blocked - but that may have been due to congestion from a previous cold. I feel I have no life anymore. All the stuffing has been knocked out of me.

Bingmumma - stop right there!!!!!!! If that woman is gong to be like that then i wouldn't want to be friends with her - luckily my friends just sympathise and would say something if me / ds had upset them or their ds/dd. Wait an see what HV says - it my be he is just very active with a low attention span and will grow out of it - i remeber my little brother being really really naughty at his first nursery and my mum ended up working there just to keep an eye on him - he's fine now - a single dad but i can't fault his intentions. I'll keep my finger crossed for you that it all truns out ok - if it doesn't so what? Is a little extra help at school that bad? At least you HV is taking you seriously unlike mine!!

ps ds came home with a good boy sticker yesterday - everything is crossed

Thanks Tron.

I think I may have overreacted about my friend. Apparently she is coming tonight and I dont think it is my DS who has annoyed her, but something else.

Anyway picked DS up from pre-school today and yet again another incident. This time two children on the computer, my DS walks up to them and scratches their faces and they end up crying. Apparently he kicked someone too. I truly and at my wits end with him. I have taken all his Thomas trains away, we are not going to visit grandma and grandpa today and definately no television, but he doesn't seem too bothered about it. I am totally embarrassed by his behaviour. I really feel like not letting him go to school until he sorts his act out.

Glad to hear your DS got a good sticker - hope he keeps it up for you. Wish my DS would be good just for one day. I wonder what our DS would do to each other if we met up!!

I think I overreacted with my friend - dont think its my DS whose caused the trouble with her - apparently she is coming out tonight so she doesn't mope around at home - so it cant be my DS.

Picked DS up from pre-school today and yet another incident. He went up to two children on the computer and scratched their faces and he also said he kicked someone too. Have taken his Thomas trains away, we are not going to nanny and grandad's this afternoon and no television. He doesn't seem too bothered about it. I feel like taking him out of school until he is 5 and then maybe he will have got through this "phase". It truly is driving me to despair. Its only 1.26pm and I feel like opening a bottle of wine.

I wonder how our DS's would act if they were together!? Do you think they would kick shit out of each other or they may play nicely as they have something in common!

Glad to hear your DS earned a sticker - hope he keeps it up for you.

no sticker on friday - but he didn't have any new injuries either - not sure which is better!

Our ds do seem very alike - any money if they ever met they'd probably behave like little angels!

Count me in on that wine because after today I'll need it. It was ds grandads birthday so we went for a pub lunch - ds would not sit still or eat his dineer and tried to run into the kitchens - nanny just says come and do something really nice and have a treat , when i've just told him to sit down and behave!!! I could batter her sometimes

Fingers crossed for the coming week that I don't get called into nursery again!