2.3 yo and 6 mo sharing a room - some teething problems, not sure what to do for the best.

[MuffinMclay]

I've recently moved ds2 into ds1's room. Ds2 is in a cot and ds1 a normal bed. For the first few days this worked well. Ds2 slept better and ds1 seemed genuinely excited to have a bedroom companion.

But in the last few days things haven't been so great. Ds1 keeps climbing into the cot (defies belief given his tiny legs) and reaching in and hitting ds2 on the head. Ds1 thinks it is hugely funny (ds2 doesn't ), and various attempts to deal with this (stern but firm voice, shouting , time out) are just seen as a wonderful game.

I really would like them to share a room. I can't decide whether it is better to ride this out, hoping ds1 gets bored soon, or to separate them again for a few weeks/months.

This has coincided with ds2 becoming much more active and wanting to play with ds1's toys (as he sees it), which ds1 is not happy about.

have this problem myself with my nearly 2yo and my nearly 1 year old who is quite tiny (3-6mth clothes) but no advice im still trying to deal with it by sitting outside the door and listening and jumping in to put ds2 back to bed when he jumps into ds3s bed. is he standing on anything to get into the cot?

No, he's not standing on anything. He pulls himself up with his arms, then flips his legs over and then is in (quite impressive acrobatics if truth be told). I'm tempted to wrap the cot in chicken wire or barbed wire.

I've covered the sides of the cot with blankets tonight so that I can at least make it harder for him to reach in and hit the baby.

sorry but I don't think it sounds safe to leave them unattended alone together
i would rethink this until they are older

They're not unattended, in the sense that I loiter around (out of sight) until ds1 is asleep. It is a small house and I can hear every time ds1 moves, even downstairs (it is very open plan).

Much better tonight (hope I haven't spoken too soon). He climbed in 4 times, but got out as soon as I told him to (caught in the act on all occasions), and no hitting.

well...I still don't think so
sorry, is your choice, obviously, but wouldn't leave small untrustworthy person with my baby
even if the small untrustworthy person had also been my baby IYSWIM!

I've been worrying about this all evening and feeling like such an irresponsible mother. I am stupidly tired today so I'm sure everything feels 10 times worse than it should.

We're going away for a few days (and they'll be in separate rooms) so that gives me a bit of breathing space to ponder this problem.

They are going to have to share a room, at least for the next couple of years, so I have to find a way to make it work.

I would think that a possible option may be to put the little one in with you (is that where he was before the move?) for a few more weeks/months.

I want our dds to share eventually. (currently 1 year and 4.7 years). This would probably be ok (safe) but I am holding on for a bit longer. Part of the problem for you (imo) is that the older one isn't quite old enough to understand consequences.

Another 6 months or so and things will be massively different.

Also meant to add that your older one may hurt himself with his acrobatics; also as you have seen there is a risk to the baby.

I know that you have said you can hear them...BUT if you are really knackered one night and the older one climbs/throws self into cot?? Not trying to worry you, just thinking about the things that we have considered.

My 2dcs share a room at my parents house when we visit. They are aged 6 and 3yrs, so a little older than yours.

We had the same problem of them whooping it up and partying instead of going to sleep.

We solved it by putting dd(3yr) to bed first and, once she is asleep, ds goes. Works brilliantly and the last time we wnet, dd was even awake when ds went to bed on a few nights and they still settled. I think they have just got more used to it.

How about putting your ds1 to bed first and when he is asleep, take in your ds2. Prsumably ds2 still naps in day so could make up for a ahlf hour later bedtime. I'm sure you wouldn't have to do it for long until novelty wears off.

I know it will take up your evening but you re doing that anyway by waiting outside the room

Plenty of children share without any difficulty.

sorry you are so tired - hope what I said didn't make you feel worse?

I don't think you are irresponsible at all - you tried something, weren't sure if it was a good idea, and have been weighing it up - what is irresponsible about that?

You must admit though now you have tried it, that a small, cross, athletic, person, who finds it funny to hit and doesn't really get consequences or have any empathy, is maybe not the best person to be sharing a room with your baby at the moment

I would leave it a few weeks and try again as you suggested