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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Baby wont sleep

17 replies

sammi25 · 15/02/2005 23:17

Hi I have a ds 7mths who wont sleep at all during the day. He spends most of the day crying because he is so tired and just wont give in. I have tried everything I can think of with no luck. I have recently been started on anti-d tabs but I think the constant crying and lack of sleep is enough to get any1 down. I feel very lonely and isolated as I dont have many friends and the days are very long.

OP posts:

HunkerMunker · 15/02/2005 23:20

Oh, hun, poor you. How does he sleep at night? Do you have any kind of routine to your days (not fixed in stone, just some reference points during the day that are predictable and familiar for your DS)?

Where do you live? Are there any MNers who you can organise a meet-up with? Or are there any groups locally? Your HV should be able to give you details of local mum and baby groups. Hugs, hun xxx

Frizbe · 15/02/2005 23:22

{{{HUGS}}} sammi25, don't despair, mumsnetters will sort you out! have you read anything by Tracy Hogg 'The Baby Whisperer' she has some great tips on spotting babys tired signals, before he gets too fraught to sleep, I'm not much good at remembering them myself tho, as dd is out of that stage now....what sort of routine do you have with ds?

dramaqueen72 · 15/02/2005 23:23

oh i'm sorry to hear how low its making you. i have had a crier too, and remember whats its like. ((hugs)) to you for getting to seven months before saying help!
so what have you tried? slings? car drives? singing? co-sleeping?
if its any help, and its prob not, my dd is now 20mths and has ONLY been sleeping for the last month -BUT I am a different person now i am getting regular amounts of sleep, totally different. feels amazing.
you WILL get there and you will feel better.
what support do you have? could your mother /mil have him one day for a couple of hours so you can rest?

Original poster

sammi25 · 17/02/2005 16:32

I live in Redhill, Surrey. I have posted a message on the meet-ups section so we will see how we get on. Unfortunately I haven't had any luck with my Hv. She is rubbish and no help at all, even though I keep asking for it. Will be on the look out now for those books. We do have a routine, I have an older son at school who we have to work around. I have tried slings, singing,rocking,car drives, carrying around by the time he finally goes to sleep at night I am exhausted. I dont have a good support network as I dont have many friends in the area. Have tried going to a few mother and baby groups but everyone is so clicky and wont let in someone new. Find it very fustrating.

OP posts:

TracyK · 17/02/2005 16:36

if you don't get a chance to buy the Babywhisperer book - you can look at her website - www.babywhisperer.com (I think).
It has a question and answer chat board just like this one.

slim22 · 17/02/2005 21:15

Hi,
My heart goes out to you!
I do not have any miracle advice, all I can say is be patient. the more nervous you are the more cranky your baby will be.
Tracy Hogg does have good advice on spotting signs of tiredness...........but if you can't find a method to get him to sleep, what's the point???????
Here's my only tried and tested method for desperate situations: wrap him up in warm clothes, put him in his buggy and go for a long walk. The fresh air and rocking motion will soothe him and the exercise will calm you down.
hugs

Flossam · 17/02/2005 21:24

I'm quite new to this parenting lark but what I have found to be signals from DS are...
Yawning (kind of obvious)
Rubbing eyes
Eyes half closed.
Looking for comfort (ie sucking hands when not due feed).
I've tried to make his cot somewhere he will want to be and reward him when he wakes up after sleeping in it by winding up his mobile (which he loves)
I am also always putting him in the cot to sleep unless we are out somewhere. So that he understands the cot is a place of relaxation and sleep.
All kind of obvious really but I've only just realised

I find that I can settle him well but rubbing his head down to his nose, rocking him on his tummy, helping him find his thumb or giving him my finger or a dummy. Nap times are fine now, night times are a little harder! He was co sleeping up till now.

I'm sure some people will be along to help you out more than me soon!

fimblesfan · 17/02/2005 21:25

Oh you poor thing I know exactly how you feel, my ds is 10 mths & sounds exactly the same, as much as i love him i actually look forward to going to work 2 days a week for a rest, I also live in surrey but i live in croydon which is a shame as i would have met up with you for a coffee & a chat from time to time.

Original poster

sammi25 · 17/02/2005 22:03

I would love to have someone to meet up with especially if they were having the same problems as me. My whole day consists of trying to settle him down to go to sleep in his cot, taking him out to try and settle him down. He is always so tired rubbing his eyes etc but just fights the sleep. If he falls asleep it usually last at the most 10 minutes then we are back where we started again.

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hermykne · 17/02/2005 22:11

sammi, youpoor thing, whats your day routine like?
maybe he needs a more structured day with regard to feeding and when you try to put him to nap, it may take a few days or wks (hioefully not) to get him settled into sleeping.
when does he go to bed at night ? and what time is he up, how much milk is he taking and solids?
all of these things can contribute to making a happy baby,
you shouldnt have to deal with this so there is loads of advice here,

Original poster

sammi25 · 17/02/2005 22:25

He wakes up usually about 7.30am and feeds 4 hourly during the day. He has solids 3 x and then just a bottle before he goes to bed. Usually he goes down between 8-9pm as he wont settle before then. I put him for 3 naps during the day. One about 9.30 when I get home from school run in the morning. One after lunch and one after tea. Its always a gamble, I go in there and try and settle him down with all the different methods but to no avail. He has suffered from gastric reflux since birth and is on 3 medications for that which he has 4 times a day.I have tried going to see a cranial oesteopath, baby massage but nothing seems to help. The doctor keeps telling me he will grow out of it which I realise but that doesn't actually help me now. I love him to bits but at times it makes me feel so desperate. I just wish I could help him.

OP posts:

Flossam · 17/02/2005 22:27

Just one thing, I was told not to take them out of the cot? Obviously to feed, but if fed winded etc to try and keep them settled in the cot. Easier said than done I know. Sorry you are feeling so down.

hermykne · 17/02/2005 23:06

sammi your routine is pretty good, there was a thread elsewhere tonight about an older baby who has just learnt the wrong sleep association - how to go to sleep or when to go, maybe your little fella is similar,
i am not familiar with reflux and how bad it can be but do his medications work and are there any side effects to his system as a result of having 3 types.
have you done the pick up put down method? i use that presently with my 6mth old in the night or sometimes i just leave him, meanmum, but if your ds is crying all day then it sounds like something is paining him because if they are tried they really have to give up the fight at a certain point.

must go to bed myself, but i hope you get somewhere with him

goreousgirl · 17/02/2005 23:49

Sammi25 - I have a dd (5) and a ds(9 mo). I could never get my dd to sleep - and used to try everything (rocking drives etc etc). With ds, I read Gina Ford (do not follow to the letter btw). Although life hasn't been perfect - some of the things I think have helped are:

Rigid bed time routine
Put in cot for all sleeps where possible
A cot musical to just 'help' calm down and get sleepy, without baby feeling abandoned
Darken room, and try not to disturb once asleep
Leave to 'play' when wakes from sleep (ie not expecting you to pick him up the second he wakes - so more of a chance of him re-settling himself, day or night).
Finally (my secret weapon and controversial I know)!!! Lay a muslin square over their face or beside them (don't know why, but both my kids responded to this)! Seems to calm them down - and give a sleep signal...
A HUGE understanding hug. You're going through a really tough time at the moment - it's hard on you AND the children. I hope you resolve matters soon.

hermykne · 18/02/2005 08:30

sammi
i was thinking when is your ds content in the day, is it after a feed or just in the morn when he is up, maybe that could hint to you why he is crying later on or during the day too?? just a thought

Original poster

sammi25 · 18/02/2005 22:35

He is happy when he has just woken up from a sleep but this doesn't usually last too long as he soon gets tired again (as he hasn't slept long enough) I know he isn't in pain because he wouldn't sleep at all eitherwise. The docs have him on the most medication they can prescribe for his condition and without it he is alot worse (as I have tried to discontinue it)He likes to hold a muslim square and rub it on his nose when he is in his cot (which we keep in there for a sleep signal)I always put him down to sleep in his cot. Will try putting him to bed at same time every night.I just find it difficult because he doesnt always settle at same time.

OP posts:

ionesmum · 18/02/2005 23:02

sammi, it is soooooooooooo hard, isn't it? I found my dd really hard to read but then someone suggested putting her down straight after lunch (with no other naps) and she took to having a nap then really easily. Best of luck.

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