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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

Kindest way to wean DS (just over 2) off the dummy?

11 replies

PussinJimmyChoos · 05/08/2008 19:34

DS is very attached to his dummy and binky (little cloths I've made for him to rub his nose with). I don't have a problem with it at all but lately he's been screaming out twice every night for his dummy, even when its in his mouth sometimes!

I'm going to put 3 or 4 dummies in the cot tonight and see how that goes but wanted some advice on how to break him of the dummy habit? I don't really want to if I'm honest, but DH is seriously suffering with the night wakings. He won't nap without it though and he asks for it when he comes in from nursery etc...don't think I can use reason with him as he's too young just yet...

Help!

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merryandmad · 05/08/2008 19:46

Hello,
My dd was 2 in June and we have the same problem. She has recently started to chew the dummies and breaking them.

She understands that they are broken and she says "bin?" and then goes and puts them in the kitchen bin.

But we cannot get her off them- she has to have at least 1 (pref 2 to go to sleep with). Whilst at at a friends house today, she picked up friends ds's dummy and put that in her mouth because we are trying to restrict day time use.

Any ideas gratefully received here too!

RubyRioja · 05/08/2008 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlerach · 05/08/2008 19:57

Dd2 was amost 3 when she gave hers up.

She was being quite horrid one day, and dh told her if she didn't stop, he'd throw her dummy away.
She said "Fine".
Dh threw it away.

She went to bed that night, asked for it, dh said no, it's in the bin.

She went to slepp

And has been fine since.

Think we were more worried than she was.

fairy15 · 05/08/2008 19:59

ds1 used to have a dummy just for sleeping. He was 18 months at Xmas so I gave him a prezzie the night before Xmas evening saying it was from Santa & if he left his dummy the following night he would get more prezzies. He couldn't wait & gave me his dummy that night & never asked for it since.
Maybe you could do it along the same line but with the dummy fairy.

jooseyfruit · 05/08/2008 20:02

get him to 'buy' a big boy toy with all his dummies.
I took my ds when he was three to the toy dept of fenwicks, and he 'swapped' his dummies for a playmobile fire engine!
have a quiet word with shop assistant first of course.

saying that,i did try the same technique of bribery with my daughter and she wasn't having any of it!! good luck

Hecate · 05/08/2008 20:04

The best way is to get them to agree and to be happy to give it up, but lets be honest, that almost never happens!

imo, the kindest way to remove it against their will is to pick a day and throw them all in the bin. (dummies not kids, although by the end of the first night you may have other ideas....)

Deal with the few days of hell and it's all over.

Gradual weaning off it just prolongs the agony and turns it into a big issue that you'll be fighting them over for months.

Bin. Gone. Get over it.

I'll be honest, that first night is hell. But the second night is slightly less awful, and before you know it, you are out the other side.

It's like the difference between ripping a plaster off fast and pulling oh-so-slowly at it for ages.

Original poster

PussinJimmyChoos · 05/08/2008 20:22

Loads of good suggestions here - thank you. He is only two so I think the dummy fairy and swopping for a nice toy maybe a little early for him. What I was going to try was scattering 3/4 dummies in the cot tonight in the hope that he could grab one, self soothe and as long as we aren't woken, I don't care that he's still on them iyswim? What do you think?

OP posts:

cleversprout · 05/08/2008 21:10

My dd was 2 in Feb and has her dummy only for sleeping now. It stays in the cot and she knows it. She sometimes asks for it during the day but I just keep repeating "Only in your cot."

I agree in principle with hecate that when the times comes for the dummy to really go, just do it, but I would say it's good to first reduce the usage to bedtime only.

PussinJimmyChoos, my dd also still has a daytime nap and I have decided to let her have the dummy until she gives up her nap. I know if I try to take it away she won't fall asleep at lunchtime any more and to me that is more important!

Re night time waking - my dd used to wake all the time in the night because she had lost the dummy. We solved this by putting 3 or 4 in the cot, and putting cot bumpers on so the dummies don't fall out onto the floor. At the moment we're staying with family and there are no cot bumpers, hence "Mummy! My dummy fall out!" every night....

mabel1973 · 05/08/2008 21:35

Agree with cleversprout to limit the times it is used to bedtimes only. I did this from about 18 months with DS1. I took his dummy away at about 2.5. I just thought enough was enough, and it was affecting his teeth.
I made a star chart (where instead of stars he had characters from in the night garden) and he had to do 2 weeks without his 'doo doo' and he got an Iggle Piggle toy (it was when they 1st came out). To be quite honest with you, it took about 4 nights of him being upset, and disturbed nights, but then bingo, he hasnt had it since,I was dreading getting rid of it...but it was so much easier then I thought it would be.
I also thought he wasn't old enough for a star chart, but he soon cottoned on.
he has since found the odd mislaid dummy lurking and had a little suck, he still says it feels nice, but he hasn't regressed!

daffodill6 · 05/08/2008 21:51

Two thoughts - my DH (when a toddler!) had one and his uncle threw it out of a window much to his distress. Never forgot it but short and sharp.

Another friend , very cleverly, negotiated with her daughter - aged 4 ish , at a works kids xmas party , that santa would give her a prezzie but she had to hand over her dummy in exchange. Worked a treat apparently.

cookiemonstress · 05/08/2008 21:54

Dd1 loooooved her dummy and often went to bed with several. One day when she was just two I forgot to give her a dummy one day when she went for a nap and so I thought 'right, you can do it, let's go for it'. In hindsight I wouldn't be so quick to do it. I had just had dd2 and to be honest, I felt the pressure to do it from family/friends and wasn't doing it for the right reasons IYKWIM. What I didn't take into account is that dd1 dummy was also her 'safe place' and was the only thing that calmed her down when things got too much (as they often do when you are only two).. Although she coped admirably with the cold turkey, she still missed it and this christmas when we asked we asked her what she wanted Father Christmas to bring (a year later), she said 'a dummy'.

If you really want to get rid of it and you think your LO can cope, then cold turkey is prob best but also not the end of the world if you hang onto it for a while, limit to bed times and wait until you can negotiate its demise!

Some children are born to love their dummy. DD2 for example never took to one (and I tried!)

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