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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

To all those whose baby isn't the cuddly, huggy type...

19 replies

Izabella · 04/08/2008 22:12

DD has never been one of those babies that likes to snuggle up against you for long periods or cuddle in bed and I posted about this a while back as I was concerned. Even after she reached a year, she wouldn't put her arms around me when I cuddled her or let me hold her close for long periods. I though that maybe she didn't love me. Silly, I know but those kinds of things do cross your mind when it goes on for months. Gradually though, as she has gotten older and begun to talk and be more aware, she has started to put her arms around me and runs up to me for spontaneous cuddles. She even asks to have a cuddle now. What a turn around! If you are having the same experience with your little one, I just want to encourage you that the day will come when you'll finally get that very special cuddle.

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SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 04/08/2008 22:14

aww how lovely! my dd2 isnt that fussed on cuddles eirher but doesnt mind for a while when she is tired! any other time it has to be go go go constantly! no time to stop for a cuddle!

Flibbertyjibbet · 04/08/2008 22:25

DS1 still isn't the cuddly type at 3.7.

Thank heaven I have ds2 who is a proper velcro baby and total mummies boy

IAteRosemaryConleyForBreakfast · 04/08/2008 22:29

We had this with DS - wanted carried all hours until he could crawl then he would wriggle and thrash until put down. Still much the same but we're now blessed with occasional moments where he cruises over, rests his head on us and says "Aaaaaaaaaaah" before cruising off again. And the kisses - salivatastic! Iggle Piggle gets the best of his affection though .

Absolutely worth waiting for, it's just breathtakingly lovely.

KTNoo · 04/08/2008 23:23

My 2 year old dd even fights against me when I pick her up because she has hurt herself!

DivaSkyChick · 06/08/2008 03:48

Oh Izabella, I do hope my experience mirrors yours. My one year old will cuddle and kiss her teddy and now her father and the grandparents but not me. Sometimes when I go to kiss her she even shakes her head "no". It's utterly heartbreaking and I don't get it.

I can make her laugh better than anyone and she often wants me to play with her and pick her up, she just won't be cuddly with me and I'm so desperate for it.

Flibberty, your response just depressed me further. Maybe I'll have to have another baby after all!

Pinchypants · 06/08/2008 09:31

My DD wasn't a cuddly baby and never slept on me, wouldn't be cuddled or held to sleep, always liked her own bed and space etc. She just sorted of started giving spontaneous cuddles and kisses a couple of months ago - she was 2 last week. Now her 'tiss and duddle', complete with 'aaaah' noise is the most precious thing ever cos she doesn't bestow them lightly!

MogTheForgetfulCat · 06/08/2008 14:09

Ahh, so lovely! My DS1 was a non-cuddly baby, but has turned into the most affectionate toddler and we now have lovely cuddles. Well worth waiting for!

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 06/08/2008 14:11

divaskychick she is not cuddling you because you are too fun to cuddle. she would rather you tickle her and make her laugh. teddy cant tickle her and your dh clearly isnt as good at it as you! dont worry you will get your hug

Bink · 06/08/2008 14:16

Nice post.
I had the original non-cuddly baby (ds) who learned to sit up quite early & from about 4 months would perch bolt upright & unsupported on the very end of whatever knee he was on - everyone remarked on it.

I now have an extremely cuddly & affectionate 9yo - much more so than most 9yos, as most have generally grown out of that stage - in fact it all fits a pattern of slight immaturity. Anyway, he's lovely.

meandmyjoe · 06/08/2008 20:28

Ahhh what a relief to read all these. My ds was 1 yesterday and sounds just like Rosemaryconnelys, I had to carry him around everywhere til he got crawling but now more than a few mins on my lap and he's wriggling and whinging to be put down!

He does now cruise over to me with his arms up and want a quick 2 second hug when he really snuggles me but then it's back to wriggling and he's off again! Doesn't really like sitting still at all, always on the go this one!

Such a gorgeous feeling when he does want one of those quick hugs though!

ChukkyPig · 06/08/2008 20:48

This is lovely to read my DD is the same. She got mobile early and has always been a happy independent soul, off doing her own thing with hardly a thought for mummy or daddy. I am proud that she is so independent but feel the odd twinge when I see how lovely snuggly and cuddly other babies are and how I have never had that. Even when she hurts herself after 2 secs being picked up and cuddled she is wriggling for freedom again.

However in the last couple of weeks (she has just turned one) she has started resting her head on my shoulder when I pick her up when she is tired, and putting her arms around my neck a bit. It is lovely.

tab1 · 06/08/2008 20:56

this thread gives me hope as my dd 13 months won't kiss or cuddle and fights me when i hold her, she is so independent. it upsets me as i think she doesn't love me, i hope she turns into a loving child soon!

DivaSkyChick · 07/08/2008 17:06

I had no idea this was so common!

Thanks seashells. This morning we are all alone and she has been trying to get me to play while I veg with my coffee and laptop. I finally got the hint and joined her on the floor. And got a kiss for my efforts! Yay!!

2point4kids · 07/08/2008 17:07

My ds1 hated cuddles right up till he was nearly 2.
Now he is nearly 3 and very very cuddly. I LOVE it

SummatAnNowt · 07/08/2008 17:22

ds was always far too interested in everything around him from 4 months onwards to be restrained by mere cuddles! He did, as he grew older, show his affection by rubbing his face on our bare feet

But he did get more into cuddles and at 4 he still loves to cuddle and wakes us up with kisses.

herbgarden · 08/08/2008 20:55

I've found my friends with dd's have less affectionate kids than my friends with ds's....I Know a generalisation but that seems to be a common theme. I have a velcro ds who loves a cuddle so haven't experienced this (in fact I get frustrated from the other pov sometimes when he won't leave me alone !!!....) but a lot have got more cuddly as they get older .....

EustaciaVye · 08/08/2008 21:32

I always had to ask DD1 if I could give her a cuddle. Now she is more affectionate and it is lovely. I still ask her as she values her own space.

brimfull · 08/08/2008 21:35

my dd is not a cuddly person,when she was younger (she's 16 now) I had to trip her up to get a cuddle

she's no different now I'm afraid..lovely girl but not into cuddles at all

Littlesoul123 · 10/12/2022 11:45

Was your LO like this at 6mo? My dd doesn't like to cuddle at all. Doesn't want to be cradled in our arms and prefers napping in her crib (not on us) and I'm very worried something is wrong. She'll actually get upset if we try to rock her to sleep

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