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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

7 year old DS with HUUGGEEE amounts of attitude??!

20 replies

Chocmad · 01/08/2008 16:37

Help help... i have a 7 year old that swings between being the loveliest boy to some grunting teenager in what feels like seconds. He's also started having huge tantrums when he gets told off, and is saying on a daily basis that i'm a horrible mother and he wishes he could go and live with his friends as their mums are lovely?!! Have tried so hard to ignore / be patient / confiscate toys etc, but has got to the point today where i just can't wait for bed time
Any suggestions?? I also have a younger DD who admittadly does her best to wind up her big brother..so am going round in a constant circle of arguments, tantrums, telling off and silence - help!!!!!!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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TheCrackFox · 01/08/2008 16:40

OMG - I was going to start a thread about my 7 year old DS today. One minute he's lovely, the next he is like Kevin the Teenager.

Will be following this thread with interest.

Original poster

Chocmad · 01/08/2008 16:44

Am quite releived there's someone else out there with the same prob!! All the mums at the school make out that their boys are 100% lovely all the time and was starting to get a bit worried! Just really don't know what to do?? How have you been dealing with it??

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Skribble · 01/08/2008 16:49

My son was exactly the same at that age, He would go into terrible rages which could involve him trying to throw things, he would so upset. I would make him worse by shouting back and it all got out of hand. I would have to physicaly hold him until he calmed down.

I realised I would have to get to grips with it and we had a chat one day when he was in a good mood, he talked about how he didn't like feeling like that, and felt out of control. It all seemed like the terrible twos. Lots of emotions and not the maturity to deal with them. We decided on a STOP word, that either him or me could use when a rage wa int he early stages and starting to get worse. In fact we never really used it much after that as his rages calmed down, perhaps the discussion was enough.

I also recognised that dd wasn't helping. So I set a few rules for her to help give him space and a few "grown up" privilages for him like going out for dinner with just me or staying up a little bit later to se a programme. I would say that what ever you do be consistant and clear about what you expect from him, they don't like to guess or things to change depending what mood you are in or how frazzled you are .

LadyK · 01/08/2008 16:52

Any mother who says her 7 year old son is lovely 100% of the time has got to be taking the piss.

I have a 7 year old boy and he is decidedly not lovely 100% of the time.

Maybe 40%.

On a good day.

TheCrackFox · 01/08/2008 16:57

I have been taking to biting my lip alot - trying not to engage with him when he has been horrible. If I start shouting at him it seems to make him worse. I am treating him like an overgrown toddler - ignoring the bad and praising the good.

Mhamai · 01/08/2008 16:59

Will watch this with interest. My ds is 7 and is definatly in the sweet natured one minute then Kevin from hell the next. I'm a single parent and I know he is really missing his big sis

Original poster

Chocmad · 01/08/2008 17:00

Thanks guys..it's good to know i'm not alone!! Have tried talking to him just before bed when everythings calmed down..explaining why his behaviour and what he says makes me sad and how i know his sister is annoying ( she really is sometimes!! )and to ignore her if she starts, we have a big cuddle and everythings lovely - till the next morning and all kicks off again!!

The other school mums are the sort that will swear blind their kids are angels..god forbid they'd actually admit they were little buggers sometimes!! Usually ignore it but on a bad day you just think ' god are mine really that bad? '

The idea of treating him to more grown up treats is a really good one, i must admit that i do tend to treat him and my DD who's 5 exactly the same.. it's hard to accept that my little first born is starting to grow up i guess!

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Mhamai · 01/08/2008 17:02

I don't mean a MC D toy btw. He was huffy because I didn't buy him a toy.

Aloveheart · 01/08/2008 17:04

God you could be saying it about my ds8 who's god terribly moody and sulky and hard work. And can be the sweetest boy you could ever wish to meet. I am so glad it's not just mine either, brings me to tears sometimes cause it makes me feel like i've done something that has made him that way..so different to my dd9.

LadyK · 01/08/2008 17:09

I think more grown-up treatment may be the way forward too.

The bottom step is no longer much of a punishment...

Original poster

Chocmad · 01/08/2008 17:15

It also drives me mad that everyone else - teachers, grandparents, one auntie in particular who think the sun shines out his bum, will just instantly dismiss any moaning i may do about him because 'they don't believe that of him, he's soooo lovely that he couldn't possibly behave like that - you must be lying'!!!!

It's literally only me that gets to see this side of him, and it's such a shame because he is gorgeous, and the sweetest boy - but then the horns appear, it's like a mini version of the hulk!

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Original poster

Chocmad · 01/08/2008 17:17

P.S Mhamai - feel free to rant...it's either do it on here or go to the bottom of the garden and scream like a banshee!

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Skribble · 01/08/2008 17:29

I have to admitt I had been treating my two the smae too. DS was 7 so DD must have been 4 yrs, big differance really she was still in nursery and he was in P3. Change of house and school too at that time so lots of things that were out of his control and I suppose he found it all very hard to cope with.

He def appreciated being treated that wee bit older, packing dd off to bed and giving him time did help. I still like to make a difference between them with things like he has a tv and games console in his room she doesn't. He had gold fish in his room she didn't etc.

Original poster

Chocmad · 01/08/2008 17:34

Thanks Skribble, given me a few ideas. Have been treating him like a toddler just lately as that's how he's been behaving...but now i can see that doing the opposite might be a better way to go about things - everything i've tried so far has failed so may as well give that a go!! Find it really hard to accept that he is getting bigger too..can't quite believe he's already 7 and not a baby anymore

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Mhamai · 01/08/2008 17:37

lol at the banshee comment. Chocmad, have you been spying on me?

Original poster

Chocmad · 01/08/2008 17:47

Ha - screaming like a banshee is on a good day, if it's really bad i sit with my head in the fridge and consume the entire contents of the 'naughty' draw...sure the kids take me more seriously with chocolate all round my chops!

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MamaGLovesMe · 01/08/2008 17:49

MIne was lovely at PIL this morning. FIL rang at 3 and asked me to go and get the kids. I get there, DS1, aged 7, being a pest, full of attitude. Got home, he apologised, rang PIL to say sorry to them, been fine. DD then kicks him while I take a call.

Original poster

Chocmad · 01/08/2008 17:59

Always think babies should come with a certificate stating all the reasons why you wanted them in the first place, cos sometimes it's sooo hard to remember!!!

MamaGLovesMe - think we may have the same DD...totally the sort of think she'd do, promptly followed by a completely innocent 'i did nothing' face!

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slavemum · 03/08/2008 17:20

Have just joined mumsnet as we're having alot of problems with our 8 yr old son. Thanks to you all as its reassuring to know he's not the only one to have developed this jekyll/ hyde thing.
Also great to hear others feel the need to scream at the bottom of the garden!!

Yummymum1 · 03/08/2008 20:01

Have just posted in special needs re my ds1 7 with aspergers syndrome who has been so awful today.
Interesting to find that it prob isnt his special needs causing the problems and could be the 7 yr old inside.
Heartening to knoe i am not alone.
Hang in there everyone,they will grow up one day!!

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