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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Neighbour downstairs complaining about noisy DD....

18 replies

LittleDorrit · 30/07/2008 11:54

Just wanted to see if anyone has had a similar experience...
I live with my 2 year old DD in a flat in London. I have a woman living below me who is always complaining about noise from my flat - she is not complaining about loud music or anything like that - she just complains about the sound of my DD walking around the flat during the day. We have carpets, etc. and never any noise in the evening, no parties or visitors, etc. but she thinks it's unreasonable that my DD is not at nursery all day. My DD has a nanny and spends at least half the day in the garden or in the park. But noting makes my neighbour happy.

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cornsilk · 30/07/2008 11:57

She sounds like a prize pain in the arse. My neighbour is like that - puts notes through the door complaining about my ds's noise. Ironically, a few months on my ds's have changed and are now quieter than his dd.
I got my dh to speak to him as I would have been Mrs Angry.

Bumdiddley · 30/07/2008 12:00

She's complaining about a two year old walking around??

It's probably the nanny she can hear!

Does she work nights?

You can go two ways - tell her where to go or smile and nod and tell her you'll discipline dd severely

plantsitter · 30/07/2008 12:00

Aw, this is rubbish. Is there any noise she makes that you put up with because you know it's just normal living noise? If not, can you make some up so you can say 'I appreciate your point but we put up with hearing your embarrassing bathroom habit (or insert appropriately shaming noise) so please go away'?

TheCrackFox · 30/07/2008 12:54

TBH - I would tell her to fuck off. You could always start playing really loud music or basketball in the flat - then the old bat really would have something to whinge about.

tab1 · 30/07/2008 12:57

tell her to move

Original poster

LittleDorrit · 30/07/2008 13:22

No, she does not work nights. I think she just can't accept that if you live in a flat, in an old building, you can hear other people unfortunately... The thing that upsets me is that it is completely quiet after 8 pm, when DD is asleep and I walk on tiptoe or work on the computer, and so you would think she would be grateful for that. Anyway, I guess this is all just part of living with a toddler in London !

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ummadam · 30/07/2008 17:09

I have had complaints about my 6m old crying. He isn't even a very crying baby! Still ahve to put up with the sounds of the (very loud) tv downstairs late at night and interesting weekend afternoon "entertainment" shall we say - looking forward to explaining that to him when he is older!

I think it is a mix of of intolerance and a genuine lack of understanding about how much sound travels in flats. We are a quiet family and like the OP never have any noise after about 7.30 but I'm sure it probably sounds loud downstairs when we walk about - and our neighbour is probably completely unaware of their noise aswell. Flats suck in that respect.

Original poster

LittleDorrit · 30/07/2008 21:29

Ummadam - I think you are right. You have my sympathy about the loud tv - not fun when you are trying to get to sleep, knowing that your little one will wake up early in the morning.
I would love to move to a house, but that's not likely to happen very soon. I hate the fact that I get anxious when my DD dances around or drops a toy on the floor.

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PussinJimmyChoos · 30/07/2008 21:32

My Gran lived in a flat years ago when my mum was a baby. My Grandad was away in the army and was just the two of them. The neighbour below was a COW and used to bang on the ceiling with a broomstick everytime my mum cried. My Gran's nerves ended up shot to ribbons. I would tell her where to go and show her who is boss! I mean you being eek every time your DD drops a toy isn't on...noise happens in flats - you can't get away from it!

mamabea · 30/07/2008 21:37

oh Littledorrit, we are having exactly the same thing going on.

live in London. Our conversion is crappy and downstairs a prize nob.

we have notes under the door, complaints about noise in the morning.

I am like the bloody noise police, 'shhing' at everyone, pouncing on 6 month old if she so much as squeaks-blardy nightmare.

Yes like you when DD drops toys, runs, is joyous I'm stressed out-awful.I hate it.

HairyToe · 30/07/2008 21:41

When I was young (6-9 years old) we lived in a flat and the woman downstairs from us was like this - she used to bang on her ceiling with a broomstick as well. I used to get really stressed about it and tried to tiptoe round the flat. At one point my Mum was worried as I'd keep walking like this all the time. My parents rowed with her a lot - it drove them crazy.

You have my sympathies. Can you try talking to her again and explain firmly you are keeping the noie down as much as possible but some footfall noise is inevitable in a flat?

Original poster

LittleDorrit · 30/07/2008 22:58

Mamabae - exactly the same !! I have had heaps of notes. The worst thing about it is that she had a dispute with the previous owners of the flat about this issue, but of course we didn't know that when we bought the flat. Yes - I even had an argument with my mum when my parents were visiting, because I told my dad to keep the noise down and my mum said I was being silly.

I think it's quite a common problem for people in London. Bad if you have a really noisy neighbour who plays loud music, etc. but just as bad if you are trying to lead a quiet life, but have a crazy neighbour who makes you feel guilty that you live there.

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PussinJimmyChoos · 30/07/2008 23:03

I think you need to play her at her own game. When she complains, moan about her TV being too loud or that she slammed a door the night before etc...regardless of whether she did it or not - then she'll learn that a complaint from her is matched with one from you and she may shut up...evil intolerant witch!

Littlefish · 30/07/2008 23:04

Have you been down to her flat to see what she can hear?

I'm not suggesting that you do anything about it as it sounds like you're already doing everything possible. However, it might pacify her by showing her that you are taking her seriously.

Alternatively, how about involving the noise abatement people who can come and tell her that she's being ridiculous!

Do you have good underlay under your carpet?

Original poster

LittleDorrit · 30/07/2008 23:12

Littlefish - not only do we have carpet underlay, but we actually had extensive insulation work done to the floor to make her happy. We always knew that there was only so much that could be done (it's an old building) but we just wanted to show her that we were taking her concerns seriously. I always had a feeling that a few months down the line she would start complaining again, and I was right. I have not been to her flat to see what she can hear (I know she would like me too) because even if she can hear the sound of footsteps (with no shoes, may I add) there is absolutely nothing we can do.

PJC - great suggestion - might have to try that. Start putting some notes under her door...

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PussinJimmyChoos · 30/07/2008 23:15

Its making me on your behalf because the toddler years can be hard enough without having to stress about dropped toys etc! I bet she lives alone, with about 20 cats and hasn't had a shag since shillings went out....

Littlefish · 30/07/2008 23:26

Gosh - you really have done everything possible, haven't you. In which case, either involve the noise abatement people, or get a letter from your solicitor asking her to stop harrassing you. Have you kept the notes?

Original poster

LittleDorrit · 30/07/2008 23:52

The last conversation I had with her, I actually said that I just didn't want to talk to her about it anymore and that if she wanted to take it further, she would have to contact my solicitor ! It's just not nice though, is it, not to get on with neighbours. On Sudany I was coming home from a walk and as I was approaching I saw she was coming out, so I lingered in the street, waiting for her to go, so I would not have to bump into her !!

Thanks for all your support ladies (or girls - not sure which is better !) Better go to bed now.

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