Ok, so I think my child might have something wrong with him - how can I be sure?

[Name62]

This is a bit weird to write, but I've had mild concerns about my second child since he was quite small. He's one now.

It's nothing much, except that he has an odd little face. Something about his nose and mouth that doesn't look quite right. It's hard to describe as I don't know the scientific terms, but he does look unusual.

(Ugly father maybe )

Also he is pretty slow at things, at least ime - he only has a few sounds, doesn't walk yet (this is normal range I think) and is pretty mild mannered. Complete contrast to my first child.

I might be worrying about nothing but I do want to put my mind at rest or find out what is up if anything is. How would I go about getting a referral, or would they just say wait and see? I hate not knowing iyswim.

Thanks for any info or experience.

Btw in case it sounds like I'm not keen on him, it couldn't be more the opposite - I love him to bits. I just worry about him a bit.

Mmm, well from what you say, there is nothing to go on really. My ds2 is one, doesn't walk, and only has a few sounds, but I wouldn't describe him as "slow at things". You might also think he has an odd face because there is something odd about his eyes.

But you are obviously concerned about him - can you give some more details about why you think he is slow to do things?

Sorry. No his eyes are fine
It is various things. He's been making the same noises for months and months without ever developing anything like a word. Maybe that's just how some babies are? I might have high expectations because the other one was early at stuff, I don't know.

Other things too - but it's hard to say what exactly. It's more what he doesn't, there isn't much he can actually do yet.

I am probably just getting into a state about nothing.
Never mind.

Oh I see, sorry, I thought you meant mine. With the eyes thing.

how did he get on at his 8 month check?? Did the health visitor raise any concerns?? Did you??

I have 2 DS's who are totally different - 1st born always demanding, loud and very confident and 2nd DS the absolute opposite...could be the same with you??? You are used to one child and the other is the opposite so you naturally wonder if something is wrong??

By one do you mean 12 months? Because my dd had no words at all, and in fact no babble. Which was taken seriously and she was referred for hearing tests and to the SALT service, but all was fine inthe end. SHe was just dofferent to my very demonstrative first child. She kept it all under wraps.

Thanks, he missed his 8 month check, I don't know why, we never got an appointment sent out. It prob is just the contrast with the other one.

But he really does look quite strange. I've been looking at chromosomal disorders and there are certain facial characteristics that match up I think.

Oh God I don't know.

TFM I'm glad your daughter was Ok in the end

No, he's around 14 mo.

He doesn't look like me or his father. I look at him and think, 'where did you come from dear?'

Other people comment on his face as well.

You are obviously really worried about this - why not call your HV tomorrow and arrange to have his 8 month check...what does your DH/Dp think???

Take him to see your GP. Tell him that you are concerned that he missed his 8 month developmental check and could one be done.

I think they are aware of 'types' IYKWIM. My DS was checked out recently for something and the GP commented that it was unlikely to be a particular condition because he didn't have the particular body characteristics that tended to go with it.

Ok, will do. We're changing gps at the moment, hope we get a nice one!

Thanks

What is your HV like? If he/she is any good, I would make an appointment and go see them. They see so many children, particularly 0-2yrs that they are as good a judge as many professionals about general development and picking up on subtle signs of potential issues. If not, I would go see your GP and be honest with them.
I know it is pretty hard to talk about when the signals seem so subtle and hard to "label" exactly, but it is still worth persuing if you are concerned. Gut reaction counts for a lot I think and worth at least checking out for peace of mind.
What does your DH/DP think? does he see your concerns or feel differently?

x posts! Good luck with the GP

Sorry Name, didn't mean it to sound like I meant your ds! I meant mine!!

But yes I agree the best course of action is to see your HV or GP. The more concrete examples you can give them of what you are worried about, the better

Some areas do a 15 month check, so you could phone HV to see if yours does. If not ask to see her anyway as you have concerns.

Good luck

Name62 - Stop googling woman!!! Its making you look for things that simply might not be there. Please say you'll not google anymore?

What is it particularly about his facial features that are concerning you? Can you qualify it or is it more of a gut feeling? Could this be anxiety? A mum's gut feeling is a very important factor that i think most peadiatricians hold a lot of stock with.

If you are worried, go to your doctor and ask for a refferal, explain why. I had concerns about DD, she seemed to lose skills, the HV took this seriously and did a developemental check - i think DD must have been about 16m. She said we had two choices, we watch and wait and DD would, as she suspected, come right - she was behind in some areas, slower in others. Or we could go for a refferal. She left it up to me - i asked for the refferal as i knew i would worry if we didn't have it. As it was DD was much improved by the time we got the visit but it was so SO useful for me to get this from the horses doctors mouth. DD does have a slight speech delay, but that too is resolving itself. I have a sneaking suspicion she is going to be dyslexic - i don't know why, mothers instinct? Paranoia? So what if im paranoid, if there is a problem im sure as hell going to make sure DD gets all the help she can at the earliest possible stage.

Go with your instincts, don't suffer in silence. Get the refferal, put your mind at rest, and if there does turn out to be a problem (and i honestly bet there isn't one) you will be able to get him the help he needs early on and that can make the world of difference.

i meant to say that DD was advanced in some areas, slower in others.

"Also he is pretty slow at things, at least ime - he only has a few sounds, doesn't walk yet (this is normal range I think) and is pretty mild mannered. Complete contrast to my first child."

That all seems normal for a 1 year old. how many months is he?

Do you have a photo of him that we could see?

oh sorry just read that he is 14 months. i can't remember when ds first spoke. i know he had a few words by 16 months though.

All children are different there is no set tiumeline of when they should do things some are quicker than others at different bits I wouldnt worry too much. I know thats easy to say but if you are that concerned go to your doctors and see what they say. TBH though if there is some under lying problem causing the delay then atleast you know, but I don't think at thius age you should be worrying that much.