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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Do you let your 8 yr old go out alone

29 replies

hellish · 19/07/2008 03:02

I mean a 10 min walk to the park with a friend?

OP posts:

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sushistar · 19/07/2008 03:04

I don't have an 8 yr old, but I would if I did.

2sugars · 19/07/2008 06:31

Would she have to cross any roads to get there? Not sure I would, but yours might be more road savvy. In fact, I know I wouldn't, but we live on one of the main roads into our city and it's very busy.

ChopsTheDuck · 19/07/2008 07:10

I think mine should be allowed to but I still haven't quite been able to let her. She only goes as far as the post box/corner shop on her own atm. We live down a very quiet road and the park is through some woodland at the end of our road.

bluenosesaint · 19/07/2008 08:14

I have an 8 yo and i don't let her. But to be fair she would have to cross a very very busy main road to get there.

Maybe i would think differently if it was a more straightforward path ...

LoveMyGirls · 19/07/2008 08:14

I'm finding it really hard to let dd go anywhere, theres not really any need for her to go places on her own yet, she's 9 in 2 weeks, I know there will come a time soon I will have to let her.

DoubleBluff · 19/07/2008 08:16

My 8 yr old is allowed to the park and around our estate, on his own but with his friends.

misdee · 19/07/2008 08:22

mine just goes the corner to her friends house. no park nearby

smartiejake · 19/07/2008 08:23

My dd2 is nearly 10 and she doesn't go out alone yet.

I think it depends on the child. She is a clumsy oaf with her head in fairy land most of the time so not sure I can trust her not to walk into a road (or a lamp post!)without looking properly.

MrsWeasley · 19/07/2008 08:26

I have a 9 year old and wouldn't let her go to our park as it involves crossing a big road, I would allow her to walk around the corner to a friends house providing it wasn't getting dark.

IME it would also depend on who she was with!

milknosugar · 19/07/2008 08:43

i dont trust my 9yo or my almost 8yo out on their own. i have to remind them both to stop when we get to a road, if i didnt they would walk straight out. if it wasnt for the road problem i would let them out

cory · 19/07/2008 08:56

My 8yo is allowed to walk to the nearest shop (5 mins) on his own and buy sweets, and I am happy for him to walk to school (10 mins) on his own, though he prefers to walk and talk with me. He goes round the corner to his friend's house most afternoons. He is very reliable with traffic and the only busy road on the way to school has traffic lights.

Going to the park without grown-ups hasn't arisen yet, as he has no friends who are allowed and big sister isn't well enough to walk.

In the summer, we will be on a small island where people know each other, so I will let him roam pretty freely.

MumRum · 19/07/2008 09:05

when my 9 year old wanted to go to the local skate park, we went up there with him and waited, this progressed to walking him there and leaving him whilst I walked the dog round the field, which progressed to him walking up there with us following a few minutes later... which progressed to him going alone and me up there later to walk the dog... you get the picture here.... I got to see and meet the other children that went there, knew who he was refering to...
At 10 he often spends almost all day there.
we are lucky enough to live on an estate where there is little traffic and lots of fields for the kids to play out on...
but I always like to know where he is and who he is with...

themildmanneredjanitor · 19/07/2008 09:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sarah293 · 19/07/2008 09:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cory · 19/07/2008 09:23

If someone broke in who was prepared to use force it is extremely unlikely that my presence would be able to save ds. He'd just shoot me first. In fact, that kind of person would be far more likely to use violence if an adult was present. And there is no way I could overpower a male burglar, armed or unarmed.

If there was a fire, I would expect him to get out, alert the neighbours and make sure someone rang 999.

I spend my summers in Scandinavia and I am always impressed to see how competent their children are from a young age. They have a lot of freedom and are drilled in safety and rescue procedures from a young age. I am trying to achieve the same for my dc's.

I want to feel that ds would know what to do if I had a heart attack or fainted or fell down the stairs or cut myself badly. After all, it's not as if accidents couldn't happen when I was at home. Adults have accidents all the time.

FluffyMummy123 · 19/07/2008 09:29

Message withdrawn

Original poster

hellish · 19/07/2008 13:39

Thanks for messages everyone

5yes
10 no

hmm, just as I thought, I really feel like we are on the cusp of giving her more freedom but need to introduce it gradually.

Yesterday dd1 (8) was round at her friend's house (she is allowed to cycle there by herself as I can watch her all the way there (so Iknow she's arrived there)).

The mum offered to keep dd whilst I went to the supermarket so I said yes thanks.

While I was out DH (who works from home) saw dd and friend walking past our house on their way to the splashpad (a water sprinkler park)

He sent them back (or gave option to come home).

DH and I were both really annoyed at the mum just giving permission without even mentioning it to us. Cycling to their house is really the most freedom she has so far.

I just wanted to get your opinions on wether I was keeping too tight a rein.

BTW I often take dd and friends to splashpad / park if they want to go.

OP posts:

cory · 19/07/2008 14:29

Now I would never give somebody else's child permission to go off unsupervised without checking with the other parent. That IMO is totally different from giving your own child permission.

Youcanthaveeverything · 19/07/2008 14:37

No, I don't.

Nowhere to walk to arund us really though.

maybe if I live on an estate where the kids played out and when they went to the field together, I might.

Depends on your circunstances and your child.

Youcanthaveeverything · 19/07/2008 14:38

I wouldn't leave an 8 yr old alone in the house either though.

itati · 19/07/2008 14:40

My son is 7.4 and I wouldn't let him leave the house without me tbh.

3monkeys · 19/07/2008 14:43

My son is nearly 9 and I would let him go to a friend's to play which is just around the corner, I can watch him over the only road. He doesn't go very often though!

Goober · 19/07/2008 14:44

My 9 year old DS isn't allowed to go out alone.
If DH is gardenning in the front garden or washing our cars so can keep an eye out, DS is allowed to stay where he can be seen, up, or down the road.
My DD (12) is only allowed to go out with a friend and my DS1 (13 & 1/2) goes out on his bike, not in the dark, has to be home for meals. And I don't leave him alone in the house.

castille · 19/07/2008 14:47

Yes I do. She walks to the shops, to her friends' houses etc alone. She's very sensible though and we live in a relatively quiet area.

roisin · 19/07/2008 15:27

Yes. DS1 has just had his 9th birthday, but he's been allowed out alone for ages. He's sensible when out and has quite a lot of freedom.

For instance is allowed to walk to the library (c.20 mins) book an hour on the computers, then walk home via town to buy an ice cream on the way. Total time out of the house nearly 2 hrs.

I always wanted my boys to have freedom and indpendence and am delighted that they want to do these things, and that we're in a town where I feel safe to allow them this kind of lifestyle.

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