My ds 4.10 keeps on wetting himself .....any ideas how to help.

[pepsi]

My ds went through a spate of this a while back but was fine throughout December but now he has started reception he keeps on wetting himself when he gets home. I put him on the loo when he gets in (under protest), he always goes. If for instance I dont bother he wont either and he'll be watching tv/playing with wet pants and not be bothered. Often before tea he has done it again and just isnt bothered. Today he was soaking wet when I got him home from school. He said he had done it at school and forgot to ask to go. He was soaked right through to his jumper and down to his socks. He is not dry at night yet, we have even tried. He always has a wet nappy and very often it has leaked and he has wet pj's and bed too. Ive cut down his milk at night but cant understand it in the day as at school he cant drink that much I wouldnt think. Any suggestions.

Bump

have you tried a star chart? I am gobsmacked with the success we have had. Ds 4.9 recently went through the same as your ds - always weeing on the floor when watching tv, eating, reading etc. We tried a sticker chart and he has done 10 consecutive days of being dry, he is so excited about putting another sticker on his chart at the end of each day. I am relly surprised how well it has worked.

My ds2 went through a phase a bit like this when he started school 2 years ago (just wetting his pants a bit, ie not getting to the loo in time rather than flooding himself completely). I found it really frustrating as he had been potty trained 2 years by then, but it was just a phase and it went eventually (apart from the odd moment). If your ds is wetting himself at school, I think you need to talk to him about the school rules about using the toilet. Perhaps he is a bit embarrassed about having to ask the teacher before he goes. Also, maybe have a quiet word with the teacher and let her know this is happening. She will be used to this problem and might be able to subtly remind your ds to go at playtimes.

when I asked him about going to the loo at school he said you put your hand up make a T with your hands and they let you go straight away.....this time he said he forgot though. Im worried he actually doesnt know he is going. I feel quite pressured to get him dry at night too. Everyone we know is dry already but with no dry nappies in sight I feel it would be asking to much of him to be dry at night, even if we woke him up before we went to bed.

Gosh my dd (in Reception) does the T sign too. Are you in the same village as me or do you suppose it is widespread? As for getting him dry at night, I don't know the answer, sorry.

Pepsi - I think you've got enough on your plate without stressing about being dry at night. I think the figures are 20% of 5 yr olds are not dry at night.

DS1 was almost 5 before he was dry at night (and went - literally overnight - from being sopping to being completely dry).

I can't help on the daytime accidents, hope someone else can offer some suggestions for you.

Thanks Rosin, its difficult to separate things when a you have a child who has some special needs. You never know if he really cant help something or whether he just cant be bothered, doing something deliberately or just being a normal kid. It makes it difficult to know which way to handle things. Im sure in the end everything will resolve itself but like all of you out there I just cant help worrying about abosolutely everything.

with the night time - have you tried taking his pj bottoms off so he will be more aware - if you think we train them for years to wee in nappies and maybe the feeling of elastic whether its a nappy, pj's, or trousers gives them the same feeling of security that there is something to wee into?
managed to get my ds1 night trained once i took his pj bottoms off and day time he use to be too busy to think going to the loo. i would ignore wet and focus on the word dry, keep praising him when he is dry, checking every 15 mins and say how pleased you are, then gradually get him to check himself and again lots of praise. maybe put potty in car and keep asking, then as soon as home if dry take trousers off and keep reminding. on child of our time last week there was a survey that said a large proportion of 5 year olds were scared of school toilets. could you go in with him in the morning as the routine to get him more familiar with them? and ask teacher at the end of school day to take him?
does he show any signs when he needs to go - foot hopping etc? maybe try positive reinforcements with treats and he only get those treats when he's dry and has gone for a wee?
hope things get better soon xx

i know for a fact that there are a couple of kids in ds's reception class who wear pullmups at night.don't stress about it..concentrate on the daytime thing first. the star chart thing is a good idea.

pepsi, ds (5 in MAy)still has a pullup nappy at night