Anyone else got a really grumpy, whingey 1yr old??

[savagepearl]

My dd is one tomorrow and has always been a grumpy, fidgety grumpy wee thing.

I took her to the doctors and health visitors so many times when she was smaller as I was convinced I was doing something wrong.

I tried Gaviscon for reflux and had her checked many times for reasons for her behaviour.

Everytime they just said it was her personality and the Gaviscon did nothing to improve it.

She still whinges a hell of a lot. She stil won't sit still so hates her pushchair and high chair.

Basically, a year on I feel like I'm going loopy!

She doesn't smile for people, always frowns, yet she CAN smile and does have a gorgeous laugh.

Developmentally she seems fine. She sat up at 5 months, crawled at 8 months, she points, waves and claps. Pulls up and cruises.

She just seems so damn miserable. Family have commented on it and I feel housebound.

Is there something wrong? She never seems to know what she wants and even when I''m playing with her, she can be whinging crying and miserable. Help!

Is she teething? Does she sleep well?

what are you like? are you also a bit grumpy? I found that my DS was a bit of a sponge around that age and mirrored me a lot.

I had a grumpy, whiny 1 year old. Who turned into a grumpy, whiny 2 year old. Who will soon turn into a grumpy, whiny 3 year old.

Nursery (several hours a week) helped a lot. She got more independent, slightly better at amusing herself without always expecting me to entertain her.

My ds3 was such a grouch until around 13 months, then turned into a funny smiley little chap. I'm not sure why, but in retrospect I think I was exhausted and depressed, and we sort of spiralled together. Now he's 2.4 and absolutely delightful (if a bit bossy). He hated nursery when teeny tiny, but now loves it. But then he hated everything and now loves everything. Very opinionated, basically.

Anyway, he really almost never smiled when little, and certainly never for strangers, but he's completely developmentally normal.

Yes she sleeps fairly well at night. She used to sleep through but now wakes up once or twice but just for a quick reassurance

then straight back to sleep again, think that's just separation anxiety as it started around 9 months but I know her sleep could be a lot worse.

She has two 1 hour naps a day too.

Good to hear that your ds improved googly, gives me a teeny bit of hope!!

I have often heard that some babies just don't enjoy infancy and want to understand more so I'm hoping that's the case for dd.

She is fairly good at amusing herself around the house but out and about she is awful. Cries in her pushchair, cries if anone tries to make her smile!

I just get tired of strangers saying to her "are you going to smile???" in high pitched cooing voice, for her to just glare at them.

It's hard cos otherwise she seems to be developing fine but I seem to put so much effort in to making her happy.

I talk to her and sing to her, smile and tickle her but basically she looks at me like I'm mad!

Then she smile when the micro wave beeps and laughs hysterically when people sneeze! Perhaps she just has an odd sense of humour!

Thanks, she is teething but she has been grumpy since the day she was born and still only has 4 teeth which appered around 8 months so I don't think that's bothering her

Does she have a relationship with anyone at all? I mean, does she prefer you to strangers, and calm down when you pick her up if she's crying etc?

If so I would just try to be patient. I actually took my 13 month - old to the paediatrictian and said I thought he was depressed! She looked at me like I was insane, and said she thought I was depressed!

He really improved when he started to walk around. I have no idea why, as he crawled all over the place from 5 months, so there was no particular reason to be frustrated. Maybe he just didn't like being a baby and felt better when he felt more like the rest of us.

If she doesn't seem able to have any kind of interpersonal rapport with anyone then I'd discuss it with the doctor. Btw I am absolutely not an expert, so that's just a personal view from a mum.

Oh yes she smiles for us and does stop crying instantly as we pick her up. She just seems to be a misery guts compared to other people's smilers!

She holds her arms us and whimpers when she wants to be picked up. She points to things and checks to see if we are watching.

She smiles when we point things out to her (sometimes!) and does have a very good bond with us.

She just whinges a lot and is fairly hard to please. She seems to need a heck of a lot of stimulation and being in a pushchair or carseat bores her to tears, litterally!

She seems to need to be on the move a lot and spends most of her time crawling and pulling up on anything and everything.

Perhaps she is just eagre tp walk and make sense of the world but I feel like you felt, like she is depressed or something!

I worry that if I go to the doctors one more time they will just think I'm obsessed and neurotic.

She is thriving and developing fine physically and developmentally. She just doesn't smile at strangers or other family members much.

She frowns a lot of the time and has very wise but sad looking eyes which makes me feel sad that she looks unhappy!

I have been told that she just doesn't like being a baby and has always been very frustrated.

She is very good at playing and pottering around since she's been crawling but sometimes just whines for no reason.

Going out is stressful as she wants to be carried and shown things constantly. She seems very over sensitive to strangers and will often cry if they get in 'her space'.

I really hope there will be some improvement when she gets walking which should be sometime soon by the looks of it.

She stands really well and balances wothout holding on to things for about a minute before she topples on to her bottom.

Thanks so much for giving me hope googgly, I am releived to have been able to ask someone who has been through something similar. Thank you.

Hi savage

I think your DD sounds fine and perfectly happy and normal. There are a range of babies in my postnatal group, from real smilers to real scowlers but they all have their own personalities and of course all are happy. Some just aren't smiley people just as not all adults go around grinning at all and sundry.

Have you gone to any local toddler groups / playgroups etc? She sounds like she might really enjoy the excitement and activity with other babies and also will give you rest.