14 month old tantrums when stairgate introduced

[LUCIA22]

We have just put a stairgate across the kitchen door and dd is not at all impressed. I know it is our fault for leaving it so late but please tell me that the tantrums wont last. She is ok with it being there until i am on the other side of it and then she wails. DP is not helping as he gives in, doesnt really think it is necessary and cant bear to listen to her noise over it. I dont want to give in to her.

If you think it's necessary from a safety point of view, then don't give in. You're the adult, you get to make the decisions...

Well, the tantrums won't last, but it won't help if both parents aren't united in what they want to do. Why do you specifically need a stairgate? We have one on our kitchen, but that's because it's tiny and if ds was in there when someone was cooking, it would be too easy to trip over him. Could you compromise instead with cupboard/fridge locks, a low cupboard or drawer full of plastic or wooden utensils that dd can bang with while you cook if your kitchen is big enough, other safety measures? You can get things to put on ovens to keep kids away, I think,

But then, on the other hand, review whether it is really necessary.

Both my dc's just wanted to be near me, so we ditched the kitchen door stairgate idea pretty fast. They soon learnt that the oven was hot, drawers were not to be opened etc. Pain in the bum in the long term too - try carrying a big casserole and trying to open the stairgate.

She won't think its so long as you don't take it down in front of her.

Our kitchen is a reasonable size but I find it hard to keep an eye on her whilst i am in there. Trying to keep her out of the bin, drawers, cupboards etc is difficult and there are so many that it would be a pain to put child locks on them all. I dont like the idea of her being around our feet whilst we are cooking and when she gets taller being able to reach up to things eg on the hob, also the front of the over gets v hot to touch. We dont have any stairs so this is the only gate we have. Had considered putting one on the living room to keep her in there and not wandering around but having second thoughts after her reaction to this one!!

It will pass. Just her way of saying how very dare you!
If you treat it as a matter of fact, there it is and this is how thigs are, she will soon get used to it. Well it will probably be very noisy and quite upsetting all round for a while, but hang in there, it's for her safety.
Could try to distract her with things to fetch from other rooms to bring to you at first, then perhaps set her up with something to do in an other room before you go to kitchen.
It's too late when you are in A&E wishing you'd kept the stair gate on.
Good luck!

we never put one on the kitchen door. We did fit locks to the cupboard doors but not the drawers. There is 1 cupboard without a lock and it has the unbreakable items in it. DS soon learned that the cooker was 'hot hot' and that there was a 'dirty bin' that he hadnt to touch. He now very helpfully opens the bin when asked so we can throw things away (is now 21 months).

Its a good idea for her to learn about kitchen safety anyway, because when you visit grandparents etc, there won't be a stairgate on their kitchen or locks on their cupboards.

I am really torn now, dont know whether to take it down and put on some cupboard locks or to stick with it. DP will think i am doing it out of stubborness and still carry on doing things his own way anyway!!! Have to admit it is a bit of a pain remembering to keep closing it and not being able to 'pop' in and out of the kitchen with hands full etc.