Asked to leave toddler group early

[Monsterfuelled]

Ive never posted before but I feel so embarrassed and isolated right now. I took my almost 2 year old to a toddler group thats supposed to help with speech. Unfortunately he had skipped his nap and was in a bad mood and not participating and just trying and trying to climb things he shouldn't and crying when he wasnt allowed to clumb. I felt awful and was trying my best to keep things under control and felt so bad for the other mums and children. Then the lady running it said "I think it's time you went home." And you can tell they were trying to be so nice about it but I feel like such a failure and so embarassed. It's a 5 week thing I feel like I shouldn't go back.

It happens, they were not unkind, don’t take it personally.

Try again next week, perhaps if the same situation happens leave the group early, i can understand from organisers and others point of view too, if one toddler is causing a havpc it can be really disruptive. It happens, we have all been there, just know when it’s time to go, that way you will show you are aware and noone will judge you.

Don’t isolate yourself and DC because of one incident💐

Yes, do go back and try again. It's partly just because it's all new to him, as well as being tired and cranky. Don't feel bad, I am actually quite surprised if all the other two year olds in a speech group are behaving perfectly. If he's not settling and not getting anything out of it that week then yes take him out again but keep bringing him back.

Climbing wouldn't even register as disruption for me and it's certainly not my idea of "causing havoc" among two year olds. It's not as if he was going round biting the other kids. I'd encourage him to join the others but failing that I'd just let him climb for a bit, at least in the first week.

Then the lady running it said "I think it's time you went home."

I really hate that passive-aggressive way of talking through the child. Is she a professional speech therapist? Eiuither way if she thinks you should take your child home early then she should say so to you, and it would have been much kinder and more professional of her to say very clearly that you should bring him back next time. Otherwise it might sound as if she's deliberately getting you to feel embarrassed so that you will withdraw your child just because she can't keep his attention.

I don't think she was intentionally trying to embarass me, they were all lovely there. It sounds dumb but it just didnt occur to me that I could leave early and that was an option. I will go back next week, the kind replies have made me feel more confident about that decision (I am incredibly antisocial and have trouble navigating new situations so I definitely posted in an overwhelmed and emotional state) and I will say thank you and leave if he gets like that again. Thank you so much for being so nice, it means the world to me right now

Yes definitely go back and if you can, try and make sure he’s had a nap first and you’ve both had a snack and a drink. It should help you both feel more settled

I’m assuming that this is a group that your HV has referred you to? Has she also referred your LO for a hearing test?

Yes though HV didn't refer us for a hearing test but the lady at the session mentioned it but obviously couldnt get further as we had to leave. We are going to go back so I will follow up hopefully

That sounds like a good plan

Has the HV made any follow up appointments for your LO so that she can check that he’s progressing?

No i contacted her about the speech but other than that I literally have not heard from the HV since he was 6 months old

Oh that’s not good. Have you got an email address for her? Maybe in your Red Book? If not, your GP Surgery should be able to give you her contact details.

I would contact her, preferable by text or email so that you’ve got a record of when you sent it and say that your LO didn’t have the 12 month check and could she see him for a 2 year check instead?

Id also put on the message that you’d like him referred for a hearing test. If he has delayed speech you’ll mercy the hearing test to rule out Glue Ear.

Before she sees him, I would fill out both of these assessments:

. 24 month Ages & Stages

and the 24 month Social & Emotional Ages & Stages.

Let us know how you get on

Thank you, this is unbelievable helpful!