My 7 weeks old not smiling, Development delay!! Emotionless expression.

[Mel4399]

Hi Everyone, this is my first ever post. I am a first time mum to a beautiful little boy. I have some concerns in regards his development. He was born at 39 weeks, via planned c section due to gestational diabetes.

I planned on breastfeeding, however he could not latch, I seen feeding specialist and oral specialist, no oral dysfunction such as tongue tie, high palette or lip tie. We tried for 4 weeks to get him to latch both with sheilds and with, while pumping and supplementing with formula. At week 4, the feeding consultant just said he wasn't going to latch, and it was upsetting him badly trying to. He would scream his eyes out.

He's seems to have slight ireflux problems, such as spitting up and very uncomfortable.We tried the usual thicking the milk etc and he now on omeprazole. Still spews a little and still uncomfortable and slightly unsettled. Has gained great weight and loves to take a bottle.

Biggest concern is he is now 7.5 weeks and is expressionless. He doesn't interact at all with me or his Dad. No sign of smiling. We talk to him constantly, smile at him, sing to him and even try and tickle him. He just has a blank stare, we thought he smiled at bang on 6 weeks but it seems it was reflux, as there has been no other interaction since. He seems to have some eye contact but again I don't know if he's just zoning out or actually looking at me when he's taking a bottle, when I hold him up and look at him he looks away and his eyes wander side to side. He seems to recognise my husband voice but again, I'm not sure. He puts his hand in a fist and flaps them and moves his legs but only when he is going to cry or feeling uncomfortable.

I am terrified he is showing signs of Autism and I know for some people reading this it will sound ignorant and that I am a horrible person. But these are the signs my friends baby displayed and he has life long learning disability. I can see how hard it is on the child. I will love my boy no matter what and will do everything in my power to help him, but the thought that he may not live a normal life scares me, I don't want him to grow up with hardship and not being able to communicate or understanding the world around him.

Please if you could tell me were these signs for you or am I just riddled with anxiety. When do babies start to consistently smile, make eye contact and coo. My health visitor was concerned at my 7 week check up and so am I. I spoke to her about me possibly having Post partum anxiety, but she said my concerns are valid and she agreed he was little delayed

Also I am really sorry if this has offended anyone, I in no way want to offend anyone. I think I just need reassurance that he is ok.

End of the 2nd month/8 weeks is perfectly normal, and you are still before that.

Also normal just = average. There are plenty of babies who take a bit longer than 8 weeks, who don't have autism.

It's good to be observant and keep an eye on things, but don't worry about milestones to the point where it hurts your own mental wellbeing.

Hello @Mel4399 . As a mother of 3, I want to give you hope (and tell you the real!). My first born did not smile until nearly 10 weeks!! My husband kept saying, "he doesn't have the milestone calendar you know, he'll do it when he does it." My mother said the milestones were robbing me of my new mother experience. Then after he smiled, he decided not to point, to stem, not to say much until nearly 2 years old....now, he is the brightest most bubbly 5 year old ever with tons of friends - honestly nothing like I panicked and thought he would be. Kids do things on their own schedule. Don't get me wrong, I have a third child now of 8 weeks, and with him comes all the worries about what is "normal", but deep down I know that whatever the milestone is, add a buffer. Also, no disrespect to your health visitor, but mine inadvertently made me spend £300 having an "autism assessment" that basically told me all I already knew about my child - and in the end, both were wrong! I won't tell you not to sweat it because you will, but hold tight my lovely and I pray all your fears will soon be in the rear view mirror. Only time will tell you what the truth. Feel free to message me if ever you need support ot have further questions.

Thank you so much for the reply, I really do appreciate it. I'm at my wits end, just want my little man to live a normal healthy life. I have my poor husband worrying too. Xx

I am so glad to hear this and thank you so much for taking the time to reply and not judge me.

I'm delighted your LO is doing so well and is happy and healthy.

I can only hope that. I am just anxious and there is nothing wrong with him. He is perfect and loved more than he will ever know, which is why I am so worried. I just want the best for him.

He is pretty miserable with reflux atm. I hope that has something to do with the not smiling.

Well now that you mention reflux @Mel4399, this is what my 8 week old is suffering with, and I can honestly tell you that it is a new experience for my husband and I! All he does is cry when awake, with a few smiles here and there, and sleep. So different from the other two we have. Yes, reflux can completely change the demeanour of a baby as a consultant at A&E confirmed last week. His advice was to allow for the fourth trimester to pass, get to 12 weeks and see how he is then - advice I now pass on to you xx