toddler+baby combo: post your survival tips here!

[beforesunrise]

i have a new baby (one month) and a toddler (2y 4 months). all going reasonably mental but overall surviving- just...

anyway, i don't have many tips (other than the words of the community mw who discharged me and advised me to drink lots of booze! she had twins 15 months after her first, hence her words of wisdom).

i guess my only contribution would be: GET A SLING! that way you can hold baby hands free and give him/her the physical closeness while giving the toddler the interaction.

but really hoping to get more... esp as my dd1 is now the absolute tantrum queen...

Agree with sling. I would add:
Lower expectations. If everyone is dressed by 4pm you have done a good day's work. End of.
Accept all offers of help - & tell people what help you want - whether that is someone to take care of baby for 30 mins whilst you have quality time with toddler, or doing the ironing (thank you, MIL ). Have no shame.
Get relatives to contribute to a box of emergency gifts (£1 type toys) & get them to wrap them up. Produce exciting present as needed (eg at beginning of bf)
Don't expect your toddler to love your baby, but do engage their interest. Ds thought the fact that dd did yellow poo was absolutely fantastic "xx do poo like the sun!". It amused him every time!
Likewise, let them help (eg ds was in charge of cleaning dd's tummy in the bath - vital job)

Ah-ha....I was about to post somewhere..."would you recommend a sling"? as I have a non-walking DD1 of 19mnths and a DD2 2 week old! And I'm going NUTS!!! Little one is a milk monster and trying to breastfeed (constantly!) is impossible....unless I never want to leave the sofa! Poor DD1 is getting sooo rejected So - sling it is then

Cheers for the tips...and i LOVE the idea of lowering my expectations..hurrah!

Will add my tips - should I ever find something worth passing on - shall get back to you in about 3 months

You'll get great recommendations on slings on here, jeanjeanie - lots of slingaholics (I only own four ... ) Start a new thread if you want to be inundated with opinions some help choosing

Congratulations, btw, beforesunrise & jeanjeanie - now the fun begins.

arse
inundated opinions

Mum of 3yr old and 6mth old, so DS1 was 2.7 when DS2 born.

My tip is for getting clean in the mornings -
When you do actually want to be clean (Sometimes, if it's a day of ironing and cleaning and just amusing the LOs, worrying about getting dressed is just NOT worth it!), get the toddler in the bath with you, and put the baby on a rocky chair in the bathroom watching. Something about the running water keeps them asleep/entertained for ages. Fun for all!
Quality time with no.1, you get lots of time in lovely soothing hot water, and no.2 content.

I have a 2yr 3mo old and a 1yr old (14 mo gap).

Definitely definitely:

double buggy

sling for the first few months to wear round the house

anything that makes life easier: ready made formula, disposable nappies, use of CBeebies, extra stair gates to separate baby and toddler when you need to use the loo or shower

make room in the budget for as much help as you can possibly afford - cleaner, babysitter

booze most def!

a bath seat too for the little one if you intend to bath them together. Allows hands free bathing.

Both mine love this one

if the kids are fed, washed & dressed, it's a good day

if the kids & YOU are fed, washed & dressed, it's an excellent day

include the toddler as much as poss.

let the baby cry if need be, see to the toddler first; baby will be sorted as soon as you feed it, toddler will brew resentment towards baby & you if put second too often.

you know how newborn bob their heads lots? well time some questions appropriately. like;
do you love you big brother? nods
are you watching your big brother playing? nods
when you are bigger will you play nicely with your big brother? nods
etc.

lots of talk about 'when baby is bigger they will...'

get them used to bathing together from the beginning.

tell toddler what is happening, esp getting out of car:
i'm just getting the buggy out, then i'll get baby out, then you, ok?
i'm just putting the shopping in the house, then i'll get baby, then you.
if it's safe, alternate; i'm getting you out first, then i'll come back and get the baby.

get toddler to hold your leg when you have the 2 of them to put in/take out of car.

ok, that's enough, i'm off for dinner

ps yes i'm on the 2 under 3 thread, come and join us