Help me with DS2 who refuses to get dressed

[MummyDoIt]

Every morning we have the same argument. DS1 gets up and dresses himself for school, no problem. DS2 (aged 4) always makes a big fuss. Says he doesn't want to get dressed, refuses to take off his own pyjamas. Nine times out of ten it ends up with me forcibly removing them and him screaming. It gets the day off to such a bad start, with us all running late, DS2 in a temper and me completely stressed out. Plus the screaming is disturbing DH and I can't have that (some mornings, he's so bad, he's probably disturbing half the street as well). My usual method of disciplining him is to tell him I'll take away pocket money which works well at any other time of the day but, first thing in the morning, he takes absolutely no notice. Just screams. Any help gratefully accepted. I'm beginning to dread getting up because I know I'll have this little scene to get through.

I'm with beetroot
once turfed ds1 out in his pjs on a school day ( we lived 4 doors away from school)

He was 5 let's say no problem since

nursejo, there's a great book that's been mentioned a few times on the thread called 'how to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk'. It's really worth a read, I'm trying to move on from 'I said so' and it has been really helpful. I rebelled badly in my teen years against this approach and want to 'tool myself up' for the teenage years with my DD, she's 3, so I'm starting early. Part of the reason the authors agree with kids questioning is that they hope they will question negative/dangerous suggestions from peers/others when they are older.

no-one on this thread has ever said negotiating meets the needs of ALL situations... nursejo it really is only you who have been insulting - telling people to get a life and that people are bitches; the rest of the thread has been a debate with some really thoughtful posts.

I think anyone reading the thread can see who has been reasonable and polite and who hasn't.

I think it is inevitable that when you offer advice to a poster who has asked for it that there will be other posters who offer completely different advice.

Sometimes this sparks off an interesting debate and people are continue discussing different approaches well after the OP has lost interest.

Even if you weren't looking for advice, I don't think there's any reason to get upset when someone who thinks differently from you explains why they believe what they believe or suggests a book for more info. It could be informative but I can't see how it can be insulting.

Nobody was rude or insulting on this thread until that last, rather angry post from Nj.

I think the attitude of 'my way or no way' may work on children to a degree, but I want my child to be equipped to make the right choices for herself, not just to follow imposed rules.

And this authoritarian stance doesn't seem to work on Mners on this thread either.

I missed the angry post, maybe just as well!