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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Sleep all night? Yes plese, I'm not sure I like my 2yr old very much at the moment, is that normal?

30 replies

Madamejaffa · 19/05/2008 09:07

aghhhhhhh she's driving me mad, she is stubbon, horrible, rude, aggressive, adorable, beautiful, cheeky, funny and very naughty all in one.

I'm sure it is lack of sleep, she has always slept so well 7pm-8am, with about an hour and half nap after lunch, but recently she is restless most of the night and has been waking at 5am and refusing to go back to sleep. She is not waking happy though she is horrible from the moment she wakes and stays like it all day now.

Is it normal to go through a I'm not sure I like my child stage? don't get me wrong of course I love her but I just don't like her.

Any idea's how to handle the waking thing and what could be causing it? She will be 3 in August.

OP posts:

dylsmum1998 · 19/05/2008 10:36

is it possible that its daylight? maybe some thicker curtains?
or if she is still in nappies at night- it it possible she's aware of the need to wee? my dd is going through this at the mo- she's 2 and usually when she wakes she needs a wee, a quick sit on the loo and we all get back to sleep

Original poster

Madamejaffa · 19/05/2008 10:58

thanks dylsmum, she is not in nappies at night and we are in France, shuttered windows so it is not the light. This morning at 5am she refused point blank to have a wee so I don't think it's that.
Grrrrrrrr it's making me miserable and the rest of the house hold too. I dread her coming home from school at 4 she is just unbearable.

Maybe some tough love could be the answer, you will go back to bed and you will go back to sleep and you will not get up until a sensible hour.

OP posts:

dylsmum1998 · 19/05/2008 12:35

oh dear, sorry no other advice then,
just buckets of sympathy and hope its a phase that will pass very quickly!

Yummymum1 · 19/05/2008 13:14

Is it possible for her to have a shorter nap at lunchtime or no nap at all so when she goes to bed she is more tired?

Cathpot · 19/05/2008 13:17

have you had her checked for problems like low level ear infection? I have been frequently relieved in the past to find dd1 is ill rather than horrid.

Meeely2 · 19/05/2008 13:21

how long has she been 'unbearable' for? my DS was unbearable for a good few months until we had glue ear diagnosed. he had grommets fitted and it now a diff child - although was put on antihistamines to help steer clear of glue build up when grommets fell out and he became unbearable again, so we took him off them. We don't think he was getting enough sleep, antiH make you drowsy anyway and he has been much improved since then.

The way to test and is harmless - give her some calpol or nurofen and see if her mood improves - if it does could be the bad mood is caused by some sort of underlying pain....

Original poster

Madamejaffa · 19/05/2008 13:54

Meeely2 - cathpot, you know tht could be a good point!

She is generally an energetic, challenging child, iykwim the unbearable bit has probably been the last week. Before tea last night she had got herself so wound up and upset about every little thing (mainly her big brother winding her up)that through her sobs she managed to tell me she didn't feel well and was poorly and needed some medi! There are certainly no signs that she is ill but maybe it could be something underlying that she is unaware of herelf. She just appears at the moment to be so tired, grumpy, miserable and generally unpleasent company.

Yummymum1 - I don't have too much control on her day time nap, we live in France and she started school in Jan, she is there all day and her class nap at 1pm, they are not forced to sleep but must stay on their beds until at least 2pm and if they have gone to sleep then they are woken at 3pm. Her teacher told me last week that she used to be a good sleeper at school but has recently been refusing to sleep there too. When at home I try to only let her have an hour and a little earlier so that she has a long afternoon before bedtime.

Think I'll try some medised tonight and see if that aids her sleeping, just don't like to give it for no reason.

I love her so much but she is a difficult one, she drives me to distraction, I have to walk out on occassions as she makes me so mad! Then I feel guilty for not liking her or even wanting her sometimes.

Thanks for the symapathy dylsmum, I'm normally pretty strong but feeling a little fragile with this one at the moment.

Maybe there is just some truth in the middle child syndrome thing?

OP posts:

dylsmum1998 · 19/05/2008 14:11

dont feel guilty, we all go through phases of difficulty with the children, i just came out (hopefully) with my 9 year old.
its especially trying when their not sleeping as that generally means we're not sleeping either. so we're all tired and stressed, which escalate sthe prob.

just a thought does hse have all her teeth? if she's not got her back ones yet (mine are considered late teethers and are always lagging behind others on teeth counts) this could also explain it

Original poster

Madamejaffa · 19/05/2008 14:16

I think she does dylsmum she has 2 molars each side top and bottom. Is that all of them at this age?

OP posts:

dylsmum1998 · 19/05/2008 14:20

yeah thats her lot, so not that then. poor love its so hard when they cant say exactly whats bothering them.
often go through days thinking god you miserable bleeder just behave, then they get sick and i feel so bad cos i've been cross with there behaviour and its not really there fault.
i truely beleive you dont know guilt or tirdness til you have dc!

totalmisfit · 19/05/2008 14:21

wow - i had no idea the french started school so early! my dd is the same age as yours and going through a very similar stage. you have my sympathies

Original poster

Madamejaffa · 19/05/2008 14:26

They can start from 2yrs, providing they are clean and dry... I have to say, I couldn't wait for her to go. but we were tearing each other apart before she went to school full time after easter. Only 4 long days here though, no school on a Wednedsay.

School has really helped her tbh..... she needs the interaction.

OP posts:

dylsmum1998 · 19/05/2008 14:29

is there a compulsory age in france- like here its the term after their 5th birthday they have to go, but most schools take them at 4?

Denny185 · 19/05/2008 14:32

My DD went through this although she was 5 at the time she was told if she wanted to get up that early fine but play in your room and not to come out until someone else up, she got bored of this after a few weeks and had gone back to sleeping in till 7/8ish. Somehow dont think this will work for one so young though, maybe let her stay up a little later and see if it has the knock on effect of sleeping later in the am? Do you think she may be having night terrors and is worried about being in bed/going to sleep?

Original poster

Madamejaffa · 19/05/2008 16:17

Sorry, had to do the school run!! She's home, can I hide? She is not to bad actually so far, have been trying to keep the situation calm, she has eaten some spaggetti and 2 petit filous and has gone off into the garden now. Wonder how long the peace will last.

Denny.. She doesn't have a problem going to sleep to begin with, she is and always has been fantastic at going to bed, she has been in a "big" bed since 19mths and always stayed there, it's just the am wake ups at the moment and not wanting to go back to sleep thats the trouble. I am going to also try asking her to stay in her bed if she wakes and just to call mummy rather than come bounding out of her bedroom on the wooden floors waking the whole house. [not sure she'll listen]

Dyls.... Yes, the compulsary age in France for school is 6! Children do not officially HAVE to be in school until then. Our's is a tiny village school with only 50 children aged 2-11 so it is quite a nice friendly environment, so not so daunting perhaps for the little ones. Home ed is illegal in France, something I was told recently although I'm not sure if it's true? My neice is just completing her last year at Canterbury uni doing early years, hats off to you. x

OP posts:

dylsmum1998 · 19/05/2008 16:36

dont know if it would work but could she have a special basket/box of morning toys which she could play with in her room til you go in to her? might stop her runnning across and wakin otherrs.

is it sort of pre-school inside a school for the little ones iyswim? sounds ideal little classes.
I'm at canterbury doing early years- i'm in yr 1. i dont go to the main canterbury branch tho - i'm at the medway campus

Original poster

Madamejaffa · 19/05/2008 21:07

dyls, it is called maternal, yes I think it is like pre-school, learning through play etc... I have not had a child at school in the UK though so can not compare, they do do "work", have work books that they do a section each day on, colours, sticking, matching, size comparison excersises, drawing lines, horizontal, vertical diagnol etc..... I think it gives them a good start.

Well, dd has gone to bed, she has eaten well this evening so hoping she will not wake because she is hungry, her room is warm, small night light on and she has settled well. She has had some medised and has a book and a dolly next to her bed for the morning, I have asked her just to call mummy and not to come out of her room as mummy will come in if she wakes.... We'll see

Thanks all for today, MN is great when you are feeling unable to cope.

Fingers crossed for a good sleep tonight for all.

OP posts:

lucyellensmum · 19/05/2008 21:18

just wanted to add my support really after an awful night with DD.

Just a word about the medised really - i think its absolutely OK that you used it, so this is not a criticism in any way. Its just that it is only in the system for four hours, then it wears off so while it will help her go off to sleep i am not sure it will help her stay sleeping in the morning. Ive only ever used it when DD has been poorly but have found that if i have used it for more than one or two nights in a row, it actually made her really restless.

Its awful isn't it, i know what you mean though - i dont work and i find that i cannot wait for bedtime despite my DD being cute funny and lovable, she can also be whiny demanding, unreasonable, irritating and bloody knackering.

lucyellensmum · 19/05/2008 21:19

oooh, just to say, i went to canterbury uni too.

Original poster

Madamejaffa · 19/05/2008 21:22

dyls, just had a nosey at your profile..... had to snigger at our film and TV choice. Just a spoonfull of sugar, maybe thats what I need.

OP posts:

dylsmum1998 · 19/05/2008 21:32

LOL i like to think i'm doing my bit for the economy- a spoonful of sugar keeps the dentist in business
well just until i find the medicine that tastes of whatever you want it to!!

lucyellen what did you do your Phd in?

Original poster

Madamejaffa · 19/05/2008 21:34

LEM, Thanks for that about the Medised... I'll get it ready again for 5am then.

Hope you get a better night with DD tonight.

OP posts:

Elasticwoman · 19/05/2008 21:35

Can I just add that some parents buy a child-friendly clock and teach the child that she may not bother mummy till the little hand is (wherever). If she wakes up before that she is to play quietly in her room. You would have to persevere with that one of course - she might not do it immediately so you would have to be unavailable and re-inforce with carrot/stick but some people finds it works well.

We never had that problem on a regular basis - just occasionally and it was often solved by letting child into our bed. But we have always made a point of wearing our children out as much as possible, and a bad night's sleep probably means not enough exercise the day before. For us - not saying that's the answer in your case.

Original poster

Madamejaffa · 19/05/2008 21:59

I don't normally do letting in our bed, learnt our lesson with ds with that one, but this morning at 5am I could not take it any more and relented and took her into bed with us.
I thought she may snuggle back down with us and go straight back to sleep. After the 100th time of telling her to lay down and stop kicking us in the back we realised that going back in her own bed was probably the best option to stick too. She did fall asleep eventually at 7am between us, but had to get up at 7.30am for school.

Like the idea of the clock.

I'm sure it's just a phase... isn't it? She'll be back to sleeping 13hrs by next year tonight.

OP posts:

bossybritches · 19/05/2008 22:03

how about this one Jaffa?

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