What to do with a a 6 yo dd who constantly behaves like a randy terrier......

[binkleandflip]

...my dd (just turned 6) has had the habit of rubbing herself on the edge of chairs etc for a couple of years now.

What started as her way of avoiding going to the toilet (she used to do it when she needed a poo but had constipation) has now turned into basically habitually humping the chairs at any given opportunity as well as the edge of the bed or even the floor and it IS habit - she says she does it now just because it feel nice.

Well of course I understand and empathise with that but I have tried my hardest to explain to her that this is private and yes, by all means, do it if you want to, but do it in privacy in your own room, but as I say, it is clearly habit as she does it without thinking but it is CONSTANT.

As I said, I've tried to explain, I've reasoned, I've tried to interrupt and divert I've even told her off, all to no avail.

What would you do to stop this before it becomes a real ishoo as she gets older?

bump

No advice I'm afraid... sounds like you're doing the right thing. I was like that as a child and my Mum basically said the same things to me...
It clearly worked as I don't remember humping chairs in front of wee Aunt Betty for long!!!! lol

There couldn't be an underlying problem, such as thrush, could there binkle?

I dont think so, she never complains of feeling itchy etc and she has grown out of holding back from going to the toilet, she says it just feel nice!!

Which I know is all well and good and natural and all that but the furniture is going to be threadbare by the time she's 8 at this rate lol and it doesnt look particularly pleasant.

I'm trying to be cool, open mummy but I really want her to stop altogether if I am honest though I know its completely natural and everything

Binkle - my friends dd started this at about 2 with her car seat straps, shopping trolley seat and to her Dads complete HORROR... whilst on his back in a baby carrier at a fireworks display we were at! lol

PMSL at the threadbare comment.

my friends dd did this at around four or five
they came to stay and she made me move coffee tables etc! Her dd then started doing it on the stairs
It rreally upset my friend though BUT she just grew out of it- just like that...
no advice sorry but i assume it will end soon!

Well short of wrapping barbed wire round the furniture, Binkle, I can't think of anything other than what you are doing/saying to her already.

Binkle, no advice to stop it immediately but rest assured at some point she'll get embarrassed (in front of her friends maybe)and stop doing it.

My friend asked her health visitor about this re her 3yrold dd - the advice was a calm removal of hands/ firm no/ distraction and so on.
As she's 6 could you try bribery - every hour not doing it and she gets a sweet - that sounds a bit mad just trying to help!

Oh I really hope so, I dont remember even being aware I had tickly bits until I was about 12!!

Do you think its ok to insist she does it just in her own room - ie dont tell her not to just INSIST it is ony done in privacy alone?

I dont want to give her a complex but really it cant go on like this

DS, (at around the same age as your dd Binkle) used to lift up his shirt and stroke his nipples. Then one day he just stopped.

I'd forgotten actually, this thread reminded me.

binkle - i remember using the exact term "but it tickles and feels nice" when my Mum asked why I was doing that. The look on her face was complete shock!!!!

It's so innocent and normal. But It's hard as an adult to separate sexual desire from just simply finding something that a little girl thinks feels nice. I think men find it especially difficult to comprehend.

re your last question, it's a difficult one isn't it binkle? I'd be worried about giving her some sort of complex, but i do think that yes, i would take that approach.

There are lots of "innapropriate" behaviours that they have to learn about, after all, and one could view this as just another.

Yes, dh is mortified and shouts a lot when he catches her doing it - I on the other hand obviously understand how it feels (not that I personally going rubbing up against the furniture you understad ) and of course that at her age there are no sexual connotations whatsoever thats why I dont want to make it into a big thing that will hang over her.

I think I will just keep insisting that she goes up to her room until she gets bored of that and then perhaps the habit will get broken...

Interesting, DP used to find it hard to deal with when DS did his nipple-stroking thing.

He'd mutter urgently at me "...can't you stop him doing that?"

Maybe you could say it's irritating to you, a bit like banging a spoon on the table?

Oh, I don't know, think I'm talking bollocks perhaps?

My daughter has been carpet surfing on and off from about 8 months, which i think started as she was scratching nappy rash and found this felt nice. She stopped when she started walking and has recently started again full force, aged 25 months which i assume is linked to her second molars coming through. I know it is a comfort thing and she will prob stop again when the teeth are done. Am totally ignoring her and trying to distract whenever it is inappropriate i.e trying to be cool about it but to be honest it's doing my head in a bit.