3 month old routine and nap times

[Sherida]

Hi! Up until now, I have been doing pretty much whatever my DD wants when she wants it. I know, I know, there should be a routine. SO, I'm trying to set one up, but I'm having a few problems. She eats roughly at 6am, 10am, 2pm, 6pm and 10pm. If I'm lucky she'll go through to 6am again, if not it will be about 3am. I have found if I feed at 10, then a "top up" feed at 12 then she will go til 6am. It's only a couple of ounces but it does make her go through. Is this a bad habit to get into?

Also, bearing in mind the feeding times, when would be the best times to put her down for a nap? I'd like to feed her at 6pm, then give a bath and put her to bed, then go get her at 10pm. Is this reasonable? Also, should I be playing with her before naps, before feeds or just whenever she's in a good mood? Sorry if this doesn't make sense, I'm my DDs slave at the moment and am trying to regain some control!

i 've got a 3 month old too. sounds like you have got quite a good routine already. I would give her a bath at 5.30 THEN a feed at six, otherwise the bath might just wake her up after the sleepy feed

Your'e not her slave,you are responding to the needs of a very tiny baby.
She has the rest of her life to live by the clock (as have you.)

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Thanks for replies. The routine isn't so much for her as it is me. I feel like a walking zombie!

Knickers, usually she will wake, if not I'll feed her anyway!

Oh dear, I am sorry you feel you are her slave. But life with a young baby is all about responding to their needs.

It won't last much longer. A year or two from now you will probably look back on those days when you didn't get out of your pyjamas with great affection.

Tbh, she sounds as though she is actually not feeding that often. My youngest child is 3 mo and she feeds 2 hourly at the least, both her older siblings fed more. They have tiny tummies at this age.

She is telling you what she needs, and it sounds as though you've been responding brilliantly.

Are you are getting a bit burnt out though? Do YOU need a break?

sorry x posted

is she your only child? I assume you are on maternity leave?

I would seriously consider sleeping when she sleeps, feeding her on the sofa while watching crappy tv, etc etc.

I KNOW its boring and can feel like your life has vanished into a twilight zone of nappies and bottles, but it is not for long. Really.

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I'd forget trying to get into a routine as they only go and change on you/get ill/you have a night away etc anyway and it all goes to pot. For the same reason I wouldn't worry about 'bad habits' as they just change all the time too. The key in my experience is to change your expectations iyswim. Just go with the baby flow and try to trust your instincts about whether she is hungry, tired etc. Rest and sleep during the day when you can, but I'm afraid feeling zombiefied occasionally is part of motherhood for the next few years in my experience!

I really wouldn't worry too much - your dd sounds like she's gradually settling into a routine of her own accord. I'm afraid I agree with moondog that you just have to respond to your dd's needs. It shouldn't be about fighting for control when they are that little - I guess babies need to control us to some degree to make sure their needs are met.

If you need a break then use expressing, dp or willing grandparents to give you a break for a few hours or as long as you can bear to be parted from your dd (which I bet isn't long).

Also agree that you will look back on these days with affection - my ds is 8 months now and I miss the hours I used to spend on the sofa watching rubbish telly with him attached to my boob or snoozing in my arms. So much so that I want another one already. Am I MAD?????

i agree with others

'routine' is not something id associate with a 3 month old baby

stop thinkng of it as being her slave but more her mother who responds to her needs. she is still so tiny! nap when she naps, feed her when shes hungry, put her down when shes tired, etc

try to relax and enjoy it. good luck

Hi Sherida,

My DS is in a sort of routine and he's almost 11 weeks. It works for us! Here's what it looks like:

7-7.30am - Wake up and bottle
By 9am, he's down for a nap as he's getting tired then, he naps for anything from 1-2 hours
11am - Bottle
By about noon, he is tired again and goes down for another nap, usually a long one of about 2-2.5 hours
2-2.30pm - Bottle
A short nap anytime from 3-5pm (usually I run my errands in this time so he naps in his car seat or I take him out for a quick walk round the block in his pram)
5pm- Small bottle (to help him get through to his next bottle, usually abut 3oz)
Then we play, he has a bath which he loves, massage
6-6.30pm - Bottle and then bed by 7pm
11pm - Dream feed

He has slept through twice this week till 6am but otherwise he wakes at around 3/4am for a feed (so he sounds like yours!). I am hoping the sleeping through happens more often as the times he has slept through, I felt so good the next morning! The good thing about splitting the late evening feeds is that I find it really easy to get back to the timings if DS wants to eat more during the day. For example, he has been wanting to feed at 4 in the afternoon as it has been really hot and he refuses water! So I just give that to him and feed him again at 6-6.30pm. BTW, the above is based on GF's routine. DS is a grumpy baby but since I put him on a routine around week 7, he's happier.

If the above is not for you, the general rule is that you should play with them after you feed them and they should go and have a nap not more than 2 hours AFTER they wake i.e. if they wake at 6am, they really should be down for a nap by 8am. They tire easily! My DS loves his sleep and I find that he is much better when he has had a good long nap. I am sure you will work out a routine to suit you and baby. GL!

Ax

My DD is 6mo and wakes up between 3 and 8 times per night and will have between 8 and 11 feeds in any 24 hours. It sounds to me like you have a pretty good routine already with your feeds, wish I did! I'm cream crackered!

Sorry that wasn't very helpful. I'm just soooo tired today.

I've tried various routines and just when you think you've cracked it, it all goes to pot. So, I wouldn't worry about trying to fit a specific routine, some babies adapt to them easily but others dont. Just go with the flow, it wont be forever

My dd1 is 10 weeks and we are not in a routine - although I keep wondering whether we should be! I think it sounds as though you are doing a great job - mine goes down about 7 and if I'm lucky will go through til 12 - 1 - then she's up roughly every 2 hours for a feed after that until 7 am.. I've been told not to wake her for a 10.30 and just let her dictate - lots of people have said that babies find their own routine. Having said that my friend did routine from day one and her dd was sleeping through by 6 weeks! Its hard isnt it? And easy to feel like a bit of a failure when you are getting so little kip...
I'm sure as they get older they'll automatically go longer between - and also I quite like the freedom to be able to take her to friends houses for dinner and put her down there etc - which you cant really do if they are used to a certain routine.
I just keep telling myself to relax - as everyone who's been through it once is much more chilled out the 2nd time!
Good luck xx

Sorry to hijack but no-one has responsed to my thread

My 10 week old just won't sleep in her bed during the day. Even if she's fast asleep when I pop her in there, she wakes up within a few minutes and just screams and screams until I get her up again. I've tired dummies, patting her back to sleep etc etc. Nothing seems to work and the only place she'll sleep during daylight hours is in a sling. She won't even sleep in my arms on the sofa.

It wouldn't be so bad if it was just the baby, but I have a nearly 3yo DD1 who also needs her mummy so I really can't just carry DD2 around all day. Plus even a tiny baby gets really heavy after a few hours!!

Do any of you ladies have any tips on how you get your LO to sleep in their bed during the day?