Oh no - got taken to one side at pre-school beause DS has started hitting other children...

[chewing20times]

Oh dear. Just when things were going so well...DS 3yo has been back at pre-school for 3 sessions this term, and the supervisor called me to one side to say he has been hitting other children quite hard. She didn't think it was in retaliation (not that that would be ok but it might be a reason why!) I was mortified and didn't know what to say - except sorry. He is a loving, caring, considerate little boy, but has started asserting himself recently (saying very definite NO to me when I ask him to do things)and being more of a handful, but I hadn't noticed hitting particularly.
Any advice gratefully received or just your thoughts. I have spoken to him tonight about it but just want to nip it in the bud.

Difficult times eh ?

Has he got well developed speech for his age, my DS was a slow talker (you would not think it now tho !) So he would use his fists as showing his frustration, again this does not make it OK like if it was in retaliation.

It does pass and with the help of the pre-school staff perhaps they could monitor when it happens and to whom (hoping it does cease but you know what I mean !)

The incidence today, was it to one other child ? The other child could be teasing and winding your DS up (no excuse, but again a reason for his behaviour )

Have you got a new DC in the family, could be rebelling.

Could he be hungry or thirsty ? Again my DS, and he still does it now, turns on a sixpence if he gets hungry or thirsty.

May be talking a load of nonsense but may have said something to help.

I'd let the pre-school nip it in the bud TBH.

they haven't told you so that you can deal with it IMO, just to report what is happening so that you know; and so that you can work together eg you can follow their approach so he gets consistency/they can follow yours.

Don't fall into the trap of dealing with things twice; pre-school WILL have dealt with it; that's enough. It's too much pressure for such a little child otherwise and can be counterproductive.

This stage of hitting is very, very normal BTW and lots of kids do it; he will grow out of it.

I had a similar thing mentioned a few weeks ago, we had a little word and AFAIK it's never recurred. So don't worry too much it may just be a one-off and sort itself out.

It is very normal, my just 4yo does it at preschool fairly regularly. She doesn't do it when I'm around but I am regularly taken to one side at pre-school with details of her latest hitting or pushing.

I tell preschool to be firm with her, just as I would be if she did it at home (she doesn't, she's the smallest of 3 at home). But I don't punish her as I wasn't there when it took place so I see that as pre-school's role.

We do talk about hitting and pushing but she just says "well, H shoved me first". And it's hard to know really what happened.

Thanks for those words of advice. I think it was a particular child whom he does appear to mention pushes him quite a bit, so he might just have decided to push back now. We'll see how we get on. thanks