Help! Is this normal baby behaviour???!

[thisisthelast]

I know I always seem to be moaning but I am actually a bit worried about dd2.

I thought it would be easier second time round but it's so completely different.

DD1 was always a very placid and easy going little baby (awful toddler but lovely as a baby!).

DD2 is a completely different matter. I still don't understand her and she's 9 months old.

I feel awful for admitting that but she is so so so different and very very difficult.

She has always been a miserable little sod but her temper calmed down a little when she could crawl at 8 months.

She still screams in her carseat and often in the pram.

She constantly flaps her arms, sometimes hitting herself. This concerns me as I have heard it's a sign of autism.

I know she is far too young to tell but she really seems nothing like anyone elses baby.

She has never been happy to just sit and watch. She is always fidgetting, flapping her arms and hitting things,

especially the spoon when being fed.

She can never just sit and be content. She shouts out extremely loudly and angrily.

Almost like she has no knowledge of her doing it. It's a loud and aggressive grunt/roaring sound.

She always has to have something to play with and handle. Even when sat

in a chair she has to reach out and grab the nearest object or wriggle to get away.

She still can't sit for more than 2 minutes in my or dp's lap before she's wriggling and arching her back to be put down.

Does this sound anything to worry about? I don't know whether she's just very inquisitive or completely barking mad.

I know I shouldn't compare her but she is so different to dd1 which is why I am so worried.

Help!

When did things start to improve drivinmecrazy? The thought of another two hellish years feels pretty horrific! I am pretty much a recluse now as dd2 makes such a noise and whinges at everything.

Thank God I had an easy baby first time round otherwise I'd have never risked another one. As you can tell by my nickname, I'm not planning another!

My DD had most of those tendencies too. The flapping arms thing, a friend's DS had that and think it's just communication, he's 3.5 now and nothing wrong with him. Don't worry your DD2 is just sharp, that's what people tell me and although it doesn't make daily life easier at least you don't need to worry about any conditions she may have. My DD still has to fidget constantly, plays with my face while I dress her, tie her shoes, put her on the toilet. When you get to this stage just make sure she always has a toy to hold! It is very tiring.

i am new to the talk, can anyone tell what DD, DS, DD2 stand for?

dd- darling daughter
ds- darling son
dd2- second darling daughter

thisisthelast (this is hughlauriewasmyfootmuff - changed my name back to normal - that nickname was from a silly earlier chat thread)
Yes we have amazing moments with him. He makes me laugh - his thing today - even though he was a very whiny teething lump - was sucking my nose! And laughing hysterically.

I do have moments - especially with the 2 boys - where I just want to run away but I think everyone does. They drive me crazy but I wouldn't be without them.

BUt it's ok to HATE your life for a day or so and blame your kids and remember how wonderful it all was before they came and how easy it was with just one.....

And then feel guilty for it afterwards....but move on. We're all human and I don't think enough people are honest, especially mothers, when they are at the end of their tether and not enjoying being at home with the kids. Mumsnet is one place where I have found people who tell it like it is and I value that SO much.

Mums who tell me how wonderful being a SAHM is, how they bake all their own organic food, sew their childrens clothes and shag their DH every night make me crazy. I don't believe them.

Sorry -that was a rant! Having 2 children is the hardest thing I've done. And the second has pushed me over the edge sometimes - but he's amazing. Supposedly I was the same when I was a baby so maybe it's karma! Hang in there - rant on the forums - ask advice - and have a laugh with the fab women on this forum.

Thanks Sallyre, nice to know you do enjoy having him sometimes!

It's just so hard trying to make time for them both when dd2 is so demanding and loud!

She just can not sit still. Glad to hear that it's not necessarilly a disorder of some sort.

Perhaps she is very clever and frustrated and I am being unfair to her. I feel so guilty for not enjoying her at all. It's

just always such a strugle to give her different baby safe objects to handle and play with in order to prevent a meltdown!

I am hoping that she calms down a bit cos I'm exhausted!

Hi meandmyjoe, we're OK thanks. Day from hell yesterday as DD shouted all day and had to be carried most of the afternoon. All toys were boring withing 2 minutes and she would not nap in the afternoon (hence the carrying as she was so grumpy).

We did have two good weeks where I managed to get her to nap in her cot for half an hour at a time (major breakthrough!), and the volume was quite low as raspberry blowing was the new thing. Back to normal now, wont sit, wont lie down, wont sleep, just grab, fling and shout. Nevermind, I'm sure she will be a very interesting little girl when the baby stage is over, sounds awful like I'm wishing her life away but she does not seem very happy as a baby.

I know what you mean about wishing the baby stage to be over twinkley!

I do feel guilty but me and dp are always just waiting for things to improve. I must admit though, she is less irritable now mobile.

Still very hard work. I just hope she will be happy one day. She does seem to hate being a baby and Lord knows I hate her being a baby

You seem very upbeat though twinkleymum, I hope things get easier for us both cos I am just knackered.

Does she sit up on her own yet twinkley? It got a bit better when dd2 could sit and play independantly cos she hates sitting on people.

It's my 30th birthday today and I look 40 since the arrival of dd2!

Happy birthday! I hope you have a good day! DD can only sit for a few seconds unpropped, she is 6mo next week. I'm getting one of those playnests off my sister to see if she likes sitting in that. I'm not buying any more things for her not to like, its too expensive! We've got 2x swings, bumbo, 2x bouncers she doesn't like any of them or the pushchair or carseat (didn't buy all of those, just borrowed).

PS I'm sure you dont look nearer to 40, although I'm sure I've got ALOT more grey hairs since DDs arrival

This, your DD sounds like she is just bright. My DD is just like this and DS was much worse!

Have you thought of teaching her Baby Signing? I found this really helped with DS as he could let us know what he wanted.

DD HATES being spoon fed too and is much, much happier with finger food and it gives me a chance to eat my food while she is occupied with hers.

DD always pats too, especially when she is happy or excited. She always grabs things too and wants to be on the floor playing or crawling around. We have to carry different toys around with us so that we can distract her all the time.

Can't remember who said it but I think you should count your lucky stars that you've had one placid child.

Also, do you think you need to speak to the HV about your feelings?

Just realised its your birthday, happy birthday Have you got anything planned?

I do feel for you as I know exactly where you are coming from. At least you don't need to worry that there's something wrong with her because I know this is very energy sapping too. Two things my DD enjoyed most when younger was being trollied round shops so she could shout hello to everybody and playing with water (with cups, washing toys) at home. She still loves playing with water and is one of the only things that she concentrates on. I still feel like my DD will never be easy though!

Aww thanks all! Haven't got any plans really, my family are coming roung in a bit but

I actually dread this as someone always comments on dd2's behaviour.

My best friend is coming round tonight but only after the dds are fast asleep!

I certainly have aged rather poorly since having dd2 but that is the last of my worries at the moment!

Just relieved as I had sort of convinced myself that she had something mentally or medically wrong with her.

I'm still a bit worried about her as she gets older, it just seems like her whole childhood will be a long series of battles.

I have spoken to my health visitor but she seems to think that if I left dd2 to cry then she would learn to be happy

I mentioned thai I was really struggling and worried and she just said 'Ah it's normal to struggle with a baby'

Not much use to me I'm afraid!

Happy Birthday! Just had a thought - have you got anyone who can take either both your DC or one off your hands? I used to leave DS2 with my mum so I could give DS1 a big Mummy and Me afternoon - and vice versa - it's easier I find to deal with one at a time sometimes. Baby signing is a good idea - did it with DS1 but DS2 won't sit still long enough - we just started some music classes and he screamed through the first one and the only way I could keep him quiet for the second was to keep feeding him raisins - he didn't get much music!

He is making me laugh today though - I've built so many barriers around the kitchen table and chairs and he seems to be able to circumnavigate everything - and cackles with glee as he gets up again on the table...thankfully the computer is right next to it here so I can see the little bugger.

HOpe you get a chance to enjoy your 30th! It's a milestone!

thank, lizandlulu for the explaination.

my dh is totally opposite, he is not keen on having the second one, i think mainly the reason is that he concentrates on his job more than family.

and to be honest, i can not imagine handling two young children at the same time. ds is just over 15 months, and i really enjoy the time we spend everyday.

How is she