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Original poster

Fucking child!!!!!!

86 replies

SoupKitchen · 28/04/2008 09:25

Oh bugger, I have always been a bit of a swearer under my breath.
But have just overheard DD 3 mutterring fucking child to her dolly
I know this is my fault and my parenting, but how do I react.
So far I have ignored it but will this encourage it ifyswim.
And what if it happens in public.

Now need to seriously address my language

OP posts:
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Nosnik · 28/04/2008 09:55

agree that 'shut up' and stupid are not nice, also banned from this house, would rather hear ds say 'crap', or 'shit' than call someone stupid or tell me to shut up.

CrushWithEyeliner · 28/04/2008 10:01

hate Oh My God too - why is it so prevalent now?

ninedragons · 28/04/2008 10:02

My friend's very small child slapped the steering wheel of her pedal car and shouted "oh for fuck's sake!". The mannerisms and intonation were uncannily spot on, it was my friend trying to get a parking spot on a Saturday afternoon.

They understand from a frighteningly young age.

Lazycow · 28/04/2008 10:02

Well I don't sweat at ds either but I have been known to say Oh f**ck if I stub my toe or something like that. I rarely even register if ds is there in that instance.

So ds does hear me swear but I do swear MUCH less than I used to pre ds.

I do think that is a very different thing to swearing AT your child or telling him them them 'shut up'

Neither is completely desirable I think but for me swearing at your child is completely unacceptable, swearing in their presence occasionally is on a par with letting them watch too much TV . On the scale of bad parenting I personally don't this this register very high at all.

I also take the tack that these words are grown-up and that ds can't use them. There are many things that are grown-up that he can't do so I don't see the problem with that.

MabelMay · 28/04/2008 10:05

SoupKitchen, my DS started saying "fock, fock, fock" when he was about 22 months old. I know it came from me.
What I did is trained myself to replace the word 'fuck' with another, milder expletive ("oh dash it!"). It took a few days but it actually worked! I stopped saying fuck and so, thankfully, did my DS. And it's very cute hearing him say "dashit, dashit" instead.

MM.

Original poster
SoupKitchen · 28/04/2008 10:05

I think I am def on the wrong website. I can't believe that noone swears.
Definately need to find myself a lower class of chatroom , because this place is beyond belief.
I asked for advice how to deal with childs behaviour and deapite aknowledging my faults in op. My charachter and behaviour has been slated in terms of OMG I would never do that I am an angel.

As for thread title, I have preschoolers and they can't read so did not expect it to be a problem especially during school hours!!!

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 28/04/2008 10:05

Message withdrawn

MargaretMountford · 28/04/2008 10:09

I swear terribly, especially when driving - all words except for c* which I hate. Ds who is ten miraculously never swears,he must have a very rich vocabularly to employ,unlike his mum !

noddyholder · 28/04/2008 10:11

When tehy get to be teenagers they will do what they like regardless but while they are little do what you can.No one is perfect and so many people swear but I think most parents try not to but we are not saints!

FluffyMummy123 · 28/04/2008 10:13

Message withdrawn

MerlinsBeard · 28/04/2008 10:13

the problem with threads is that they can be bumped at any time of day SK

Lazycow · 28/04/2008 10:14

Soupkitchen

Actually in real life I find most people are even more censorious about swearing than some people on mn are. It is just that the 'can't what the fuss is re swearing people' aren't on this thread at the moment.

Many people never swear and probably never have (see Cod) and so it is really much easier for them to never swear in front of their children.

If you are someone who does tend to swear it is pretty much impossible to NEVER do so again from the moment your first child is born. If you think it is important to stop then you can probably make an effort and over time you will get better. Eventually you may find you are someone who says 'oh fudge' instead of 'oh F**ck'. I know I am moving that way but I seriously cannot get worked up about the odd slip up.

I also know though that I REALLY don't find the fact that some children swear that shocking really. My cousin's son swore appallingly as a small child (his mum swears a lot). He is now 10yrs old and a more, gentle, kind loving boy you couldn't hope to meet.

Don't worry about it - come and join the occasional swearers.

noddyholder · 28/04/2008 10:14

My ds is like little lord fauntleroy with adults and like russel brand with his mates!It works for us

FluffyMummy123 · 28/04/2008 10:15

Message withdrawn

CrushWithEyeliner · 28/04/2008 10:21

I think there is a difference between swearing generally and actually swearing AT your children. Surely not v surprising that they swear if you are actually communicating in expletives toward them. Sorry but I do think that saying "fucking child" directly to a 3yo is a bit shocking.

TotalChaos · 28/04/2008 10:22

there's a difference between say dropping something and stubbing your foot and saying "Oh fuck"! and calling your child "Fucking child". Not nice at all to call your child "fucking child" in their earshot.

TeeBee · 28/04/2008 10:29

I think swearing because you have dropping something on your foot is not as bad as telling a child to 'shut up'.

DiscoDizzy · 28/04/2008 10:30

I'm really surprised that people do swear in the presence of their children. I swear when i'm child free and out and about with friends but have never done so in front of them. I even managed to keep quiet when breaking my toe whilst carrying DD1 to the naughty corner. Obviously DC's pick up habits from school etc but if you use language in a certain manner in front of them then you have to be prepared to hear them say it to you. My father told DD2 (3) to shut up on a couple of occasions which I totally disagreed with, she told him to shut up one day and he was not impressed at all. He had himself to blame as she'd picked it up from him.

Pesha · 28/04/2008 10:39

I swear in their presence although try not to most of the time but I don't swear at them or when talking directly to them, I tend to say fiddlesticks quite a lot!

DD and DS1 have both sworn in the past, I caught dd aged about 3 playing with her toys and quietly singing 'fuck, fuck, fuck' to herself I spoke to her calmly and explained that they are grown up words and its very rude for her to say them. Driving back from town on Saturday DS1 said 'mummy why are big people allowed to say fucking but I'm not?' so I told him same.

But then I don't really think swearing is a big deal, there are other words I find much more offensive. Its very, very lowdown on my list of things that count as bad parenting!

Pesha · 28/04/2008 10:47

Yes I try very hard not to tell dc to shut up although I'm often asking them to just be quiet for a minute please or to shush for a second.

Also don't like stupid so have told them this also is a grown up word and very rude and also explained that it is mean and can make people feel very sad if you say it to them, imo to say someone is stupid/fat/ugly/whatever is much worse than saying fucking hell. I used to always say our dog was stupid (because he is!!) without really realising what I was saying so have had to make a real effort to say he is silly or a numpty instead!

largeginandtonic · 28/04/2008 10:54

I have never sworn at them but certainly in the car i have muttered obsenities at other drivers. It is such a bad habit. The children have called me up on it, i have never heard them swear. They know it is wrong, i must stop it.

Listening to them shout at each other is amusing, 'muppet' is a favourite term that they use.

davidtennantsmistress · 28/04/2008 10:54

I ignore, DS has said 'bugger and bloody' after his poppy taught him it - but harsh words with poppy has put pay to him sayin it, along with ignoring it, I how ever can't say...

shift it (comes out shit it for DS)
can't say god damn it either any more.

it's just being concious about what your saying is all soon becomes second nature. just trying to tell XH that DS is like a parrot at the mo and repeats everything!

largeginandtonic · 28/04/2008 10:56

Pet hate is 'stupid', such a cruel word.

Dd mimicks me, it is terrifying. I listen to her shout at her brothers and cringe, she is a mini me

davidtennantsmistress · 28/04/2008 10:56

(I don't say shut up to DS, I say, give mummy a minute or hold on, or quite voices now please.) also don't use stupid etc either as tbh I don't think anyone's stupid, it's just they have different strengths to mine is all. I do call him a 'silly sausage' thou in a joking fashion if he does something silly.

Hulababy · 28/04/2008 10:58

I am like Cod in that DD has never heard me swear.

I actually swear only very very rarely, and haven't for many years. I made a point of it when I started teaching as I didn't want to accidently swear in front of my pupils. And I guess it just stuck, so now I don't. Dh isn't a swearer either really, and certainly he doesn't use harsher swear words when I am around. He may swear with his mates though, probably a plenty on the golf course

I am now surrounded by prolific and very crude swearing all day at work, from my clients (male prisoners). So TBH I tend to now associate it, in my life, with them rather than with myself.