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Original poster

some days i just want to run away and he hasnt even got a disorder. he is just such hard work.

60 replies

donbean · 27/04/2008 14:09

just come from a childs party without my ds because i just find it too stressful to take him.
this is for many reasons, some of which are nothing to do with my son.

when will it get better. he is near;y 5

OP posts:
MannyMoeAndJack · 27/04/2008 14:32

'hasn't even got a disorder' ???!!!

Would you prefer it if he did? Similar to a 'get out of jail free' card, perhaps?

Squirdle · 27/04/2008 14:41

Hmm, yes the 'hasn't even got a disorder' makes me go

collision · 27/04/2008 14:43

Although the thread title is a bit 'off' Donbean has often posted about her difficult ds and that she finds it hard to cope.

give her a break as she is a regular.

I think most of us with energetic boys would say to go out for 2-3 hours a day to the park in sun or rain and let the energy out!

Squirdle · 27/04/2008 14:43

He is old enough to know that if he misbehaves at a party, then he leaves imo. I have 3 and 5 yr old boys and we have rules. They do test the limits (quite a lot today ) but they know what is expected of them, especially if we are at a party/someones house.

Squirdle · 27/04/2008 14:45

Ok, yes, and I agree with Collision, the reason mine are being such pains today is because they haven't gone out. I am waiting to see if DH bothers to take them as I did the mindlessly boring park thing yesterday with them!

collision · 27/04/2008 14:45

Does he go to nursery don?

He should be at school soon so they will sort him out.

Show him boundaries and discipline and reward charts ....

nothing new to add! sorry!

collision · 27/04/2008 14:46

me too Squirdle! 3 hours at The Look Out Woods with them building a den out of branches.

Fortunately I had taken my new James Patterson book so had peace for a good 2 hours! I just let them build and play and it was great!

today DH is working til late and they are building dinosaur dens in their room while I 'work'!!!!

lljkk · 27/04/2008 14:53

Thread title is just admitting that she knows things could be worse, she feels guilty about complaining when she should be grateful for the problems she doesn't have.
You guys can be so mean, sometimes, over the littlest things.

MannyMoeAndJack · 27/04/2008 14:54

'give her a break as she is a regular.'

Oh, didn't realise Mumsnet was a private members' club.

The use of the word, 'even', in the thread of the title of the post is offensive, regular or not.

TotalChaos · 27/04/2008 14:58

actually as a parent to a child with mild SN, I'm not bothered by the title, and think I know what she means - it's an "OMG I can't cope with my child's behaviour, even though I don't think anything is massively wrong, he's just a very erm spirited child". What are the triggers for his behaviour? Does he struggle with transitions?

wrinklytum · 27/04/2008 14:59

Hope you are feeling better Donbean.

I have to say that often my NT child (4 yo) is much harder work than SN dd (2).(this will prob change when she gets bigger and stronger and heavier though,I imagine.)DS is at that 4 yo testosterone fuelled exerting independence stage and it is WEARINGI get sick of the sound of my own voice sometimes when telling him off for bad behaviour.Keep telling yourself "Its a stage,it will pass" or go to bottom of garden for a therapeutic scream.

nobodyputsBBinthecorner · 27/04/2008 15:37

manny is it really worth making a row? poor Don is obv having a hard time why would you make that harder?!?!

Don i hope it gets better for you soon

blueshoes · 27/04/2008 15:50

donbean, sorry you have had to endure the attacks. I Know what you mean by the title. You seem to be having a hard time with ds. Maybe you will be able to tell us more later.

bellavita · 27/04/2008 15:55

I know how the poster feels, my DS2 is very hard work.

Desiderata · 27/04/2008 15:56

Poor old donbean. Some people offend mighty easily, so it seems.

I hope you come back to the thread. It's good to get it out of your system.

JeremyVile · 27/04/2008 15:58

For goodness sake!
Donbean has posted for some support - her wording in the title is really not a big deal, get over yourselves and have a bit of empthy.

Fwiw, I agree with the 'runnung ragged' theory. Go to the park and let him run for as long as he wants.

ALMummy · 27/04/2008 16:35

My DS is currently being assessed for various special needs. I don't have a problem with the use of the word "even" in the title.

I am a bit at the "give her a break as she is a regular" request though.

Anyway along with other posts on here - Get him out and about for a good old run off a couple of hours a day. Both my DC are absolute nightmares by midday if they have not been out in the morning. It might help. I also make sure we leave half an hour early and call into the park on the way if we are going to the doctors or somewhere more formal. DS especially is calmer and more co-operative.

Janni · 27/04/2008 16:44

Donbean - sorry you're having a hard time. They just are like little dogs at that age. They need wearing out. Just make him do daft things like run as fast to that tree and then back again while you count...or hop for as long as possible on one then the other foot, or do skipping or jumping as high as he can..ANYTHING to burn off the energy.

It's exhausting though - my boys are older now and it's MUCH easier, though they present new challenges

billybass · 27/04/2008 16:59

Donbean I am sorry you are having a hard time too. Lots of exercise works for me too.I played tennis in a local park today with my kids.Have fun with your son.

Original poster
donbean · 27/04/2008 18:28

Thanks guys, didnt mean to be offensive, most certainly didnt mean that special needs was a get out of jail title...not at all.

He is at school full time. problems reported to me by the teacher. Getting better now.

We have rules, very stringent rules, i follow through and i mean what i say.without exception.

He isnt a wild child, but many of my friends with and without children dislike my son, therefore i dont take him where they are, prefer to meet without ds as i cant stand to see what they are thinking.

Tis just harder some days to manage than others.

Get fed up from time to time thats all.
I know that you will all "get it" because i think that it is quite normal and natural for me to feel like this and for him to be like this. Tis common i think.

thanks to those who do "get it" and for those of you who dont...if you have nothing nice to say then.........

OP posts:
collision · 27/04/2008 18:31

FGS no one needs to be about me saying 'give her a break, she is a regular!'

What I meant was that she has posted lots of times about her difficult ds and that she was a regular and had just posted a thread with a title that was bound to offend someone!

so dont have a go at me MannyMoe&Mac and ALMummy and have some empathy for someone who is struggling.

Original poster
donbean · 27/04/2008 18:33

collision thankyou for your kindness xx

OP posts:
collision · 27/04/2008 18:34

Glad you came back Don as I was beginning to get annoyed with some of the posters!

Glad you are OK though. It is a shame though that you dont feel able to go out with ds as often as you might want to. Does he not 'get' that if he misbehaves he will lose out?

collision · 27/04/2008 18:34

no problem don!

Original poster
donbean · 27/04/2008 18:38

TBH i am at a loss as to what he thinks.
I cant understand him at all.
If i explained to you his behaviour, you would all say FGS he is normal...because in my heart i know that he is normal, but other people think that he is horrendous/naughty/out of control.

You know whan you are having a bad day and every thing seems 100% worse...well thats me today.

OH and BTW i didnt formulate my thread title thinking that i want to piss as many people off as i possibly can, i just wrote it end of.

OP posts: