Gina Ford yay or nay?

[Tracy551162]

Just finished reading the Gina Ford Comtented Little Baby book and have to say that everything she says is very logical and makes full sense. She writes and explains everyhting in a very structured way and I found it is very easy to follow.

I am now looking at The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg and I find that book so unstructured and random, but so far she is saying the same as Gina Ford bar the odd bit here and there.

I think I am going to try with the Gina Ford method, but obviously adapting for my and my baby's own needs, and without getting in a flap if I get behind schedule.

Has ayone else read these books or tried to work by them with their babies? Am I completely mad even mentioneing the name Gina Ford? I've had a lot of negative reactions from friends, who say she's a baby nazi - most of them haven't even read the book though.

Thanks.

Hi MNHQ - glad you're keeping an eye out.

its good to be able to discuss different parenting methods - isn't this the point of this forum?

Some peple have had great success, happy, secure, contented little babies, through followig GF. Some would argue those same babies would be that way if they had not followed GF, but at the end of the day, if you are happy in what you do, and your baby is contented, either way, and you can breath, and smile and relax, and enjoy your baby, it doesn't really matter what you do with them.

somuch, I get the feeling your hackles are up. - I didn't have a clue what I was doing at first either Nobody does. Instinct isn't the same as knowledge and experience. They dropped this baby on me and I thought "what the feck do I do now!" but we all get through, we all get the hang of it one way or another and I was on top of it by ds2. I just personally don't rate raising babies by books - any books - it's my personal opinion in response to the op, not a criticism of anyone who exercised their right to do it differently!

You know what I mean, I know they got very nasty but they were discussing (or insulting Gina Ford). No one has here, I didn't mean to imply the content of this thread was like the others, just the subject.

we arent allowed to talk of her we'l be sued again!! shh everyone!!

No, not really, hecate. I just feel that I really didn't have much of a clue (which I think is quite normal with a first baby), but also felt much less maternal than a lot of other new mums do, and very much out of my depth. Perhaps it is because I am so much of a planner, and was suddenly faced with a sitiuation where I couldn't plan, until I found a routine-based solution.

I do admit to being a bit control-freaky, e.g. I get very agititated if things aren't tidy and organised. But this is why I have said that although GF's routines worked very well for me, and I don't think harmed the realtionship between myself and ds (in fact I think they helped it, because I was struggling to cope, and almost resenting ds for it), I don't think her routines would suit everyone.

i must confess ive read it and think it quite alot of common sense, ive picked bits to use and bits to disregard, i think thts the best way to be pick the best bits of lots of ideas

I haven't read it as I know a few people in RL that have and they hate it. My HV thinks Gina Ford is the gospel! Everything GF says is the new bible.

For goodness sake, this is EXACTLY the kind of welcome i was given before everything kicked off, as a very new terrified mum who was trying to sort out how to raise her baby.
I asked about routines, and was basicaly flayed alive by vicous MNers who jumped down my throat. I went away and didn't come back for a very, very long time. It's obvious she didn't know what was going on, what happened to giving someone the benift of the doubt?
Tracy Routines are wonderful btw, all i would say is don't panic tooo much about falling behind. The idea is you kind of re adjust the routines and use them as guidlines. Worked wonders with dd and seriously chilled her out by 6 weeks.

For goodness sake, this is EXACTLY the kind of welcome i was given before everything kicked off, as a very new terrified mum who was trying to sort out how to raise her baby.
I asked about routines, and was basicaly flayed alive by vicous MNers who jumped down my throat. I went away and didn't come back for a very, very long time. It's obvious she didn't know what was going on, what happened to giving someone the benift of the doubt?
Tracy Routines are wonderful btw, all i would say is don't panic tooo much about falling behind. The idea is you kind of re adjust the routines and use them as guidlines. Worked wonders with dd and seriously chilled her out by 6 weeks.

Hmm, GF? Yay or nay?

NAY!!!!

For all the reasons everyone else has specified. I believe that babies raised on GF style routines are not really "contented" they are simply uncomplaining, they have learnt that there is no point voicing thier needs or opinions as they will simply be ignored and the "routine" stuck with all the same. In general such routines do not work well with breastfeeding, so best to simply go with the flow etc all in all.

As for the father of 8 who wrote an AP book, I'm sure it was co-authored by his wife, and "Three in a Bed" is written by Deborah Jackson and "Attachment Parenting" is written by Katie Granju, who are both women and mothers as far as I know. Likewise "Why love Matters" by Sue Gerhardt. These books will guide you by explaining your babys basic instinctive needs and also what is truely normal. So you won't be surprised if your baby wants to be held between feeds and shockingly wants to feed more than every three hours, or sleeps best tucked in the crook of your arm in your bed, and not alone in a moses basket/crib/cot, and so on.

Put the GF type books away and learn how to tune in on yours and your babies instincts, that way you'll truely have a Contented Baby, not just a passive one who lies uncomplaining between feeds and grows up without the ability to form secure emotional bonds.

OOps, did I say that last bit out loud??

My baby was anything but passive, we have an excellent bond, he responds well to me, and to anyone else who looks after him. He has never had attachment issues.

My son was a lively, chatty, responsful baby, who blossomed ina routine, where he felt safe, and sure of what was going to happen. As a toddler, he would get down from lunch and say "sleep time" , take himself up to bed and have a snooze. He has always settled himself well, and never got up in the night for anything other than nightmares and the odd wee, or if hes been poorly.

GF does NOT adovcate leaving your baby to cry between feeds, and also says to give extra if they seem truly hungry. She advocates play time, and gives ideas on playing with your baby.

I tend to find the ones who shout loudest are the ones who haven't actually read either of her books.

I have had midwives who did't have any children of their own, it made no difference to their ability to look after children.

As for co-sleeping....well, I want to sleep, I want my baby to sleep. Both my babies are happy independant, relaxed little souls, and becuase they have always slept in their own beds, we get a goosd nights sleep and we are all happier nicer people for it.

You can tell I'm cross coz my typing is even worse tan usual.

and another thign Greenmonkeys - I successfully breastfed DS, DD was harder as I had mastitis in the v early days, but succes at breastfeeding is as much about confidence as anything else. If by using a book that guides you, and advises to express (which is always a good thing) milk from birth, and makes you feel more confident you can breastfeed well, what is the problem.

GF does not teach you to ignore your baby. It teaches you to recognise certain calls, and to use those famous instincts. Both my babies have learnt that night is for sleeping (DD did take a bit longer), but during the day they are picked up if they cry, and played with, and carried round.

By knowing my baby had had loads to drink, plenty of milk, and later, well structured food, and sensilble day time sleep, we were able to learn quickly what cries meant food, and what mena tired, and what menat bored.

My children have never been so tired they can't sleep, or irritable, as they have well strucutred days. Which are still FUN by the wya.

Hey Tracy, sorry you've had a bit of a rough ride, you just happened to stamp on a very sore spot that clearly you had no reason to know about...

For me, I think GF is too rigid and inflexible and doesn't cater for b/f - certainly last time I read her book (which was a while ago, maybe there's an updated version) it didn't show any understanding of how b/f actually works. Which was a pretty major flaw. There's a big difference between being a nanny looking after someone else's child and actually being a mother who has just given birth. Easier to ignore someone else's child crying, for instance.. a mother has a physical need to comfort her baby and that is exactly what Mother Nature intended!

Newborn babies don't come with inbuilt routines - it takes time for them to adjust to the shock of the outside world. Just running their own bodies instead of it all being done for them is a fairly big deal! They haven't read the damn books and can't be expected to conform to artificial routines. Some babies do fit some routines - fab but not guaranteed.

Btw, do you know that human babies are born neonate? Out of all the primates, humans are born uniquely vulnerable. The evolutionary theory is that there is a missing fourth trimester - human babies are born 'premature' in a trade-off between fetal development and standing upright. If we still walked on all fours, our pelvis would be different and we could carry babies for a year. So they would be much more 'cooked' and ready to face the world.

As a baby grows and mother and child get to know each other, some sort of routine that suits both of them tends to emerge. Books can offer a rough idea of stuff that might help. But not all books are written by people who are experts in child development and even if they were, every baby and every mother is different.

Who says expressing is always a good thing? It's not an absolute requirement! I tried it, couldn't get on with it, didn't actually need to do it so didn't.

Rerad the flipping book before posting all of you. This really annoys me.

GF's book clearly advocates breast feeding, and clearly gives and understanding of how breastfeeding works.

If I hadn't had mastitis and had had a breast pump I think I would have had far fewer problesm with milk supply, coz I'd have been able to follow the routines better, and express. DS needed no such help, but I didn't have mastitis.

Srry, its not always a good thing, it doesn't work for all, but on the whole, the first thing you are told to do to BOOST milk supply is express.... I don't know a Pro BF who doesn't.

What Shrinking and Somuch said.

I had no clue what to do when ds was born; the GF routines gave me something at grasp at - made me feel as if I wasn't totally floundering. And ds just fell into them, though we flexed them if we had something else to do!

The benefits of a routine are really felt with a second baby, when you can't just build the day around the little one - another child has to be taken into account too. I have massaged my dd's naps into a pattern so that they happen after the morning school run, and before the afternoon one - so I never have to wake her to take her, or drag her out when she's tired. I don't see what's wrong with that.

Used properly, a routine is surely about ANTICIPATING a baby's needs? Of course, there are 'gurus' whose routines are intended to make the baby's needs totally subservient to the parents' - EVIL.

I read Gina Ford thinking that after all the publicity I would hate it. However I was really impressed and even though her routines were far to rigid for me eg 10 minutes here, 15 minutes there etc I certainly used them as a useful guideline and wished I had read her book sooner. eg even simple things were useful for me like - most babies need to sleep after 2 hours awake - I had NO IDEA that was the case until I read Gina! Also she has a rough sleep/awake chart for different ages which again I found really useful as a guideline. Baby Whisperer was far too loose for me. Eat, Active, Sleep, You time...... what?!!!!

GreenMonkies, I would dispute that my ds is not happy just "uncomplaining". Everyone who has met him seems to think he is a happy, confident boy who is well-loved.

Personally I have never had any wish to co-sleep with my ds. However I would not criticise those who do wish to, it is personal choice. But just because we have never co-slept doesn't mean that we haven't always had lots of cuddles. And I did cuddle him a lot in between feeds, but also let him have time on the floor, in his bouncy chair etc.

I can understand that GF's routines are not for everyone, but I wish that people could accept that there are many different parenting styles, and in the end you have to choose the one which most suits you and your baby. There is no one right way of doing things.

I read the GF book before having DS and it gave me a good laugh, especially the bit about when the baby naps is a good time to catch up with your baby ironing.

Mmmm having a baby not a personality transplant.

shrinking, I have read all of GF's books (there are now quite a few) in all their editions (ditto).

I am certain there are many 'GF babies' who are healthy, happy and emotionally-secure, despite their parents reading and following the books.

However, she does not understand how breastfeeding works (her grasp of foremilk and hindmilk is non-existant) and her regimentation of expressing, feeding, and even what and when the mother eats is totally non-evidence based.

Some of the case histories in the first edition of the CLBB show babies' needs being consciously and deliberately ignored. These have been subsequently removed, I am glad to say, so it's possible she took professional advice between editions.

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